Giulia slipped into her nightgown and grabbed the baby monitor then rushed toward the door, holding out her hand. Shaking my head with a chuckle, I took her hand and let her drag me down. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever been this spontaneous. Maybe as a teenager, but that time seemed like a lifetime ago.
Giulia’s eyes widened when we entered the cigar lounge, which rarely functioned as that—only when my father or business acquaintances insisted on cigars. The faded smell of smoke lingered, but it wasn’t very prominent because Sybil always worked her magic with air freshener.
In the beginning, I’d occasionally played pool by myself or with Faro, but even that seemed like forever ago. Work had filled every waking second of my days recently as I tried to stop people from talking about Gaia by creating new incidents to talk about. But my brutality in the job hardly drew the necessary attention to take away from the gossip surrounding my wife’s death—it was old news after all.
Giulia took everything in. Apart from the four armchairs in front of the fireplace, there was a professional pool table. Giulia rushed over to the cues and took one. “Show me?”
Fuck yes. I’d suffered sleepless nights with less entertaining things than teaching Giulia how to play pool.
Giulia was bent over the table, trying to hit the eight ball. Her tongue was wedged between her lips in concentration. My chest was pressed up to her back. I’d sent most of the balls into their respective pockets and again, my hand guided Giulia’s as we sent the eight ball flying into its hole. Giulia grinned, twisted her face, and pressed an enthusiastic kiss to my lips.
Simona’s cry blared from the speakers, reminding me that our life couldn’t only be filled with nights of pool and sex. I straightened, the weight of my responsibilities returning to my shoulders and with it the worry that this wouldn’t last. Giulia snatched up the baby monitor, and we headed up to Simona’s room.
As usual, Simona’s cries escalated with every passing moment, and the longer she cried the harder it would be to calm her down. Giulia turned on the lights and walked into the bedroom, but I waited in the doorway, wanting to see how she fared.
Giulia leaned over the crib and lifted my daughter up, cradling her to her chest. I was always the one who took her out of bed when she cried.
Simona fell silent and was staring up at my young wife. I waited for the inevitable outburst, an even worse crying fit than before, but Simona only let out a small cry. “Shh. You’re the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen.” And then Giulia bent down and kissed my daughter’s left cheek then the right. “With the cutest chubby cheeks that I can imagine.”
My heart thudded in my chest, an uneven staccato I could feel in my ears. I couldn’t move. Simona reached for Giulia’s bangs and tugged, but my wife only laughed and blew out air, sending her hair flying up, causing Simona’s eyes to widen. Then she giggled.
Simona giggled.
Giulia looked up and smiled, unguarded, happy, hopeful. I turned around and stalked out. “I’ll prepare the bottle,” I pressed. Even though I wished she wouldn’t, Giulia followed me downstairs. She watched me the entire time as I prepared the formula. I could feel her questions hovering in the room between us. She didn’t ask, only kept cooing at my daughter.
When the bottle was ready, I went over to her. She leaned into me. “Why don’t you feed her while I hold her?”
I stared into those blue eyes, feeling reminded of the way I felt when I stood on the dunes in front of my beach house, peering toward the ocean.
Cassio kept his promise. The next day he came home at dinnertime. To be honest, I was surprised. I hadn’t thought he’d keep his promise that he’d given with my naked body on top of him. Maybe I had my own trust issues to work through.
He looked surprised when he walked into the kitchen where we had dinner the last few days. Sybil stood from where she was seated, obviously unsure how to act. Elia stood as well and inclined his head before he grabbed his plate and headed through the backdoor, probably toward the guard house. He and I’d cleared things up in the morning after Cassio informed him that I knew what was going on. Elia had been awkward after that, obviously embarrassed, but I’d told him that he’d done his job and that I wasn’t angry. He couldn’t have told Cassio “no” after all.
“Why don’t you eat in the dining room?” he asked. Simona grinned when she spotted her dad. Her fingers and cheeks were smeared with smashed peas, but Cassio didn’t seem to mind. He walked up to her, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and barely escaped her dirty grabby hands before she could ruin his suit.
Daniele didn’t react in any way, only clutched the fork with the speared carrot slice in his little fist. For a moment, I caught the longing in his eyes, though. He wanted to be close to his dad, but something stopped him. Cassio turned to Daniele and kissed the top of his head before he walked up to me. Daniele watched us closely. Cassio touched my shoulder and squeezed lightly before he took a seat across from me. I couldn’t deny it. I was disappointed. I wished he’d have kissed me. Maybe he worried how Daniele would react. After all, his mom had been dead for only six months.
“I prefer to have dinner in the dining room,” he said simply.
I hated that there was a distance between us when we weren’t alone. “I didn’t know you’d be home for dinner.”
“I told you I’d be, and it’ll remain that way. If I can’t make dinner, I’ll give you a call.”
Sybil put a plate with roasted pork, mashed potatoes, and maple balsamic Brussels sprouts that were to die for down in front of him. He gave her a curt nod.
“I’ll check on the laundry,” she said and slipped out, leaving her half-eaten plate.
“We can have dinner in the dining room from now on,” I said.
Daniele grabbed a piece of his pork and tossed it under the table. Cassio’s expression shifted to anger, but I quickly shook my head then said to Daniele, “Now it’s your turn to eat a bite.”
Daniele speared a piece of pork and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing dutifully.
Cassio’s brows furrowed. “What’s going on?” His voice was moderately calm, but I could tell that he didn’t approve of the situation.
“Daniele and I have a deal. He can feed Loulou scraps if he eats a bite in turn.”
Cassio released a breath. Simona began to whine, stretching out her arms toward him. He got up, wiped her face and hands with a wet dishtowel, and put her on his lap before he continued with dinner. I stifled a smile. It was an adorable sight: Cassio dressed in his three-piece suit, looking impressive and powerful, with tiny Simona on his lap in her sunflower dress. He hadn’t even complained about the flowers. Again, Daniele’s eyes slanted to Cassio, who was staring down at Simona and didn’t notice.
I stroked his head gently. He peered up at me, his small face so sad and helpless, it turned my stomach over. If only he’d speak to me.
Feeling Cassio’s eyes on me, I picked up my fork and ate a bite of my pork. “How was your day?” He hadn’t told me anything about what he did during the day so far, but he hadn’t exactly been home early enough to talk.
“The usual.”
Maybe I should have expected an evasive answer like that. After all, Simona and Daniele were in the room. Talking about his type of business around them might scar them even more than their mother’s death.
“What did you do?”
“We went to the dog park again, right?” I said to Daniele, who gave a small nod before dropping a piece of pork on the floor. “And Elia helped me set up my painting room.” I couldn’t wait to paint again, to lose myself in my art.
Cassio’s gaze traced my face in a way that made me feel self-conscious. I straightened my bangs, wondering if he still hated them. They were part of me, had always been.
“I was thinking we could spend the weekend down at my beach house.”
My eyes widened. It had been a while since I was at a beach.
Cassio tried to catch Daniele’s eyes. The boy had definitely perked up hearing about the beach. “What do you think, Daniele? We can build sandcastles like last time.”
Daniele gave a small shrug, which was something.
Cassio and I took the children to bed after dinner. Cassio put Simona down in her crib while I helped Daniele change. It was easier that way. Daniele didn’t get as upset, and so shortly before he was supposed to sleep that was for the best. I covered him with his blanket when he lay in bed and tousled his hair. “Loulou will love the beach.”
Daniele’s mouth tugged into a small smile. Then his gaze darted to something behind me. He bit his lower lip. A shadow fell over us and a moment later, Cassio bent down and kissed Daniele’s forehead. “Sleep tight.”
I stood and with a last wave at Daniele, I extinguished the lights and closed the door. I followed Cassio down the hallway, but before we could reach the staircase, he turned to me, grabbed my neck, and kissed me deeply, stealing my breath. My body sprang to life immediately as he pressed me into the wall, his big palm on my breast, kneading, his hips grinding against me. He was hard, digging into my belly insistently.
“Bed,” I whispered.