Cassio’s sharp exhale made me cringe, realizing my thoughtless move. I’d practically jutted my butt out and knelt on all fours right beside him. I could practically see Cassio’s restraint snapping. With a groan, he slung an arm around my hip and pressed a kiss right on my ass cheek before he pulled me on top of him. My lips were already parted with surprise when his tongue plunged into my mouth. His big hand covered the back of my head, holding me in place.
My pulse throbbed right between my legs at the fiery heat of Cassio’s kiss, at the feel of his muscular thighs under my ass and the growing pressure of his desire for me.
A shrill cry burst through our bubble. We jerked apart. Cassio glanced to the baby monitor.
“Simona.”
I pushed off his lap. My legs felt like rubber and my panties clung to my center.
My arousal evaporated the moment I realized that it was my job to console the crying baby and to do whatever else was required in a situation like that.
Giulia looked at me with wide eyes. My brain was working slower than usual. Her taste lingered on my tongue, and my thighs were still warm from her pretty ass. Despite my promise to keep my distance, I’d practically dragged her onto my lap the first chance I got. She hadn’t resisted. Because she wanted me, or because she feared to refuse me?
Simona’s cries grew in intensity.
“She’s probably hungry.”
“Okay?” Giulia looked like a deer in the headlights.
I sighed and stood, rearranging my dick so it wasn’t as obvious. “Come on, I’ll show you everything.” Giulia pulled a robe over and followed after me. I was on the way downstairs to prepare the bottle, but Giulia froze. “Shouldn’t we console her first before going down into the kitchen?”
I considered that then nodded slowly. Sybil had prepared the bottle while I took care of Simona. Once Sybil fed her, I returned to bed.
Giulia and I went to Simona’s bedroom and walked in. I turned the lights on. Simona’s face scrunched up with her cries, her skin already turning red. Her cries tore at me. She’d always been a crier, but since Gaia’s death, it had become worse. Now every one of her cries seemed to ring with an undertone of accusation, and my guilt weighed heavy on my shoulders.
I walked over to the crib and picked Simona up, cradling her in my arms. She quieted only briefly. Sighing, I headed back to the door where Giulia was hovering with an uncertain expression. “You don’t know anything about children, right?”
She hesitated. “Only what I’ve read.”
That was what I’d suspected. Her parents made it sound like she was a practiced babysitter, but of course that had been tactic. Rocking Simona gently, I headed downstairs, Giulia close behind me. I could only hope Daniele wouldn’t wake as well. I couldn’t comfort them both, not that he would let me console him.
Stifling my frustration, I entered the kitchen. It had been a while since I’d prepared a bottle, but Sybil had set everything out in preparation.
I nodded toward the bottles and formula. “You have to prepare the bottle.”
Giulia’s eyes snapped to me. “I’ve never done it.”
I sighed then held Simona out to her. “Then you’ll have to hold her while I show you how to do it.”
Giulia glanced at my daughter, swallowing. Embarrassment filled her face as she met my gaze, and I knew what she’d say before she did. “I’ve never held a baby in my life.”
For a moment, I felt the urge to lash out at her verbally, but I shoved it down. Giulia had even less say in marrying me than I did. It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know the first thing about being a mother. “It’s not difficult. Just hold out your arms and take her.”
“What if I drop her? Or hurt her? Or—”
“Giulia, it’s going to be fine. You won’t drop her, and you won’t hurt her.”
Giulia nodded and finally held out her arms. I put Simona into them, and Giulia immediately cradled her to her chest. “Oh, she’s heavier than I thought.”
I hovered beside her to see if she could handle it, but Giulia only had eyes for Simona. She looked terrified and a little lost. Then Simona did what she always did when anyone but me or my sisters or mother held her; she began bawling, her tiny arms and legs thrashing as she tried to squirm away from the stranger.
Giulia’s eyes grew wide, scared, as she sought my gaze for help.
Sighing, I went over to the bottles. “Try to console her. She needs to get used to you.” Simona had never taken to Sybil or the other maids. If the same happened with Giulia, months of sleepless nights would turn into years and my daughter would remain without a mother figure in her life. It was an option I didn’t want to entertain.
“Shh… Shh.” Giulia rocked Simona, but even from afar I could see her anxiety, and Simona could probably feel it too. The crying didn’t cease. If possible, it got even more intense. I moved faster, preparing the formula, trying not to let the cries snap my patience. I wanted to call Felix right this moment and tell him that he’d regret lying to me, that I’d find a way to make him pay. The best way, of course, to pay him back would be to nullify our marriage because he’d cheated me of a promised mother figure. With the bottle, I walked over to Giulia, who looked close to tears herself. But it would be absolutely dishonorable to cancel the marriage at this point, and not just that…. Nothing in this world would make me give up Giulia now that I had her. Maybe she wasn’t the mother my children needed, but fuck, she was what I craved.
The moment I took Simona from Giulia, her shoulders sagged with relief. Simona quieted in my hold and accepted the bottle, watching me with teary eyes, her chubby cheeks blotchy.
“I’m sorry,” Giulia said. Guilt filled her expression.
I didn’t say anything. Slowly, I made my way back upstairs and into Simona’s room. Giulia was quiet. I should say something, tell her it would get better, but I wasn’t sure if it was true.
Giulia watched me the entire time that I fed my daughter. Simona was calm as I cradled her against my chest. “Should I try to hold her again?” she asked, uncertain.
“No,” I clipped. I couldn’t bear another crying fit.
Giulia nodded slowly, looking away. Silence settled over us, only disturbed by the suckling sounds of Simona drinking her bottle. When she was finally done, my eyes burned with exhaustion. I tried to put Simona back down in her crib, but the moment I did, she began wailing again.
With a small sigh, I went over to the rocking chair in the corner and sank down. The thing groaned under my weight. “You can go to sleep. I don’t need you.”
Giulia winced as if I’d slapped her. She turned, walked out, and silently closed the door.
I rocked, watching my daughter who looked wide awake. This would be another sleepless night.
Simona had eventually fallen asleep so I was able to catch two hours of sleep before my alarm rang at six. Groaning, feeling bone-tired, I straightened in bed. Giulia sat up too. Just like after our first night together, her eyes were puffy from crying. Maybe our bond was doomed the same way my bond with Gaia had been.
“Good morning,” she said, tugging a strand of hair behind her ear and straightening her bangs. “I didn’t hear you come to bed.”
“It was late. Simona wouldn’t fall asleep.”
Giulia bit her lip. “Sybil’s going to be here today, right?”
I nodded. “You don’t have to worry. You won’t have to be alone with my children yet. Sybil will show you how to take care of them until you know what to do. But Sybil’s main job is to clean and cook.”
“Okay,” she said softly.
“I’m going to get ready. Your bodyguards are coming over at seven so I can introduce you before I leave for work.”
“Are they your late wife’s bodyguards?”
Fury burned in my chest. “No.” Which was mostly the truth.
Giulia got out of bed, but her eyes were on me. “When will you be home tonight?”
“I don’t know.” I headed into the bathroom and closed the door. The hot shower did nothing to dissipate the heavy sense of exhaustion.
While Giulia got ready, I dressed in my usual three-piece suit before I headed to Daniele’s room. As expected, he wasn’t inside. I found him on Gaia’s bed, still in his PJs, staring down at his tablet. “Daniele, you know you aren’t supposed to be in here.”
He didn’t react, except for rounding in his small shoulders and jutting out his chin. I went over to him and picked him up. He squirmed in my hold, but I didn’t set him down.
“It’s enough,” I snapped. My patience was running thin after last night.
He only struggled harder. My chest tightened in a mix of despair and frustration. “Daniele, stop it now!”
He froze and so did Giulia, who was watching from her spot in the doorway to our bedroom.
Simona began wailing in her room. Seconds later, the dog began barking up a storm downstairs. I stopped and for a moment, sure I’d lose it. Swallowing hard, I went over to Giulia and set Daniele down in front of her.
“Get him dressed and don’t allow him to spend all day on the tablet. I’ll take care of Simona.” I didn’t wait for her reply.