Sweet Seduction Shield(78)

God, I wanted to know.

He jerked in my palm, swore softly under his breath, his body rigid, his lips no longer kissing soft caresses against my skin. The world stopped. I held my breath as the pulse in his erection thundered beneath my fingertips.

One second.

Two.

Three.

And then his fingers found his belt buckle and with a flick of his wrist it came undone. The button at the top of his trousers followed, then the zip.

"I need..." he rasped as I started to make good use of the increased space he'd provided.

"What do you need, Ryan?" I whispered against his jaw, my tongue flicking out to lick the taste off his skin. Salty, soapy, manly. I made a low sound in the back of my throat.

"Fuck," he whispered back. "You are so fucking sexy."

"What do you need?" I repeated, laying hungry kisses across his neck.

He dipped his head down, holding me away from him so he could look me in the eye. My hand stilled its exploration and I sucked in a surprised breath of air.

"I need to know you want this. Truly want this, Marie. Not just because I'm falling apart here and you feel obligated to ease my pain."

Holy shit. He had been battling his attraction and desire. Because he was unsure of mine.

Even in the midst of his own passion, Ryan was making sure I was OK.

"Ryan," I started.

But he interrupted me. "This is not a one night stand for me. This is the start of something I intend to pursue from this night forward."

A muscle ticked in his jaw. He was wound so tightly, so close to unleashing his hold on that control he'd always had. So close to the explosion I knew would happen when we finally broke through our self imposed shields and let the other person in. But for some reason he couldn't see in me what I could so clearly see in him. An honest longing and hunger, a need that could only be fulfilled by the other.

I pulled my hand out of his trousers, thinking this conversation would be better had without me palming his arousal. My thumb inadvertently stroked over the broad head as I withdrew, and moisture registered on the tip. Without thinking, my eyes still focused on his, I lifted my thumb up to my lips and licked. Bloody hell he tasted amazing.

"Fuck," Ryan muttered. "Was that good?"

I nodded, unable to stop the edges of my lips from tipping up at the sides. I held his gaze and for a second we both got a little lost in there. Couldn't he see I wanted him for longer than tonight as well? I tried to tell him that with my eyes. I tried to let him see what was inside my head. Something I have never, ever done before with anyone else.

I realised, as I stood there, staring into the beautiful deep brown of Ryan's eyes, that he was already behind my shield. How long he'd been there, I don't know. But Ryan Pierce had made it to the other side. He was in.

No one had been in before.

"You're behind my shield," I whispered, the words somehow finding their way from my brain to my tongue. He shook his head softly, his thumbs starting to rub gentle circles on my upper arms. "No one else," I added, and a frown line appeared above his brow. A soft snort of air left my nose, making his lips twitch. "Ryan," I said, my voice certain and firm. "You think I'd let you in and walk away?"

This time when he shook his head it was with a smile.

"You're beautiful," he murmured. "So fucking beautiful." But as he looked at me, I could have sworn he was looking into me, not at whatever beauty was on the outside.

"From this night forward," I said, my hand coming up to cup the side of his face, my thumb rubbing through his whiskers, relishing the texture and feel of his goatee against my skin. I wanted that feeling all over me, not just against my lips or under my fingers.

"From this night forward," Ryan repeated, and neither of us mentioned the dangers I still faced or the rules he was breaking. We just stared at each other, seeing inside our respective souls.

There wasn't much Ryan didn't know about me. Well, as far as the big things went. My past had been relived in a most public way over the past few days with him in the front row seat watching. He knew where I'd come from. What I'd done and how I'd survived. He'd picked up on my quirks from the beginning. He'd seen my tells and recognised what I used to just make it through each day mentally intact.

He'd fallen for my daughter. Considered her part of the package when he took me on. And he was still here. Still beside me. Still asking for more.

And although I knew there was much more to Ryan Pierce than I'd already seen. The fact that he had accepted me, with all my fucked up history and in all my fucked up ways, meant everything. It meant I'd let him behind my icy shield. I'd let him into my heart. And no matter what skeletons existed in his past, he'd stared mine down with me, and I'd be happy to stare his down with him as well.