I looked back at Ryan, and saw him watching me with careful eyes. The lust was still there, but controlled now. He'd revisit it when it was safe. For now his concern, for what I was about to put myself through, shone clearly on his face.
"You ready for this, babe?"
Was I?
Yeah, you know what? I was. It was time to put my past behind me, to say goodbye to the man I'd once loved, but whom I hadn't for longer than I realised until today. To start fresh, by finishing what I had abandoned out of fear and necessity all those years ago.
To bury Roan Fucking McLaren and all his evil accomplices.
And to do it with a shield wrapped around my body and heart. A shield this man before me had provided.
No more ice, only the fire of passion.
"Yeah, I'm ready, babe," I said back to him, receiving a blindingly beautiful smile in return.
I was ready for more than one thing this night. I was ready for my past to be over, and my future with Ryan to begin.
Chapter 20
Staring Down A Bleak, Dark Black Hole
"Where do you need us?" Ryan asked, eyes scanning the environment of the Birdcage courtyard, body still within reaching distance. He was keeping close, but keeping his attention on our surroundings.
How different would it have been if we were here for an actual drink?
Maybe one day.
"It's behind you," I answered, keeping my voice low so only he could hear. I needn't have bothered, the patrons were all busy with their own conversations or watching the spectacle that was Nick and his team.
I glanced over my shoulder and took in the overly intimate circle of Ben, Abi and Kelly. My eyes bugging for a second as he seemed to be flirting with both. The show was accompanied by the sultry sound of Eva laughing, as Nick nuzzled her neck making her hat slide off. Not for a second did I think Nick or Ben weren't aware of what everyone else was doing in this courtyard. Hell, probably Abi and Eva were multi-tasking as well. As for Kelly, well, she was just having a blast.
I wondered if that was why they had brought her, Kelly added a little believability to the whole performance. Clearly at ease playing this type of game for real.
My eyes came back to Ryan's, his were dancing with laughter.
"I guess we're covered?" I said in an effort to disguise my surprise. But then ruined it by adding, "Are they always like this?"
Ryan laughed, shaking his head. "No, but Nick is not above using people's talents to their best advantage. Kelly has a talent for stealing the show. Right now we want everyone's attention on them and not us. But we better get a move on, this sort of thing can outlive its welcome."
I nodded, sucked in a deep breath and then stepped past Ryan to the corner where the ledger was hidden. It was darker here, which was part of the reason why I chose it all those years ago. Nothing much changed at the Birdcage. My eyes scanned over the vicinity I knew the brick to be in, but it had been a while, and for a moment I wasn't sure if I could remember exactly which brick to dig out.
My heart rate escalated, my mouth going a little dry in my ensuing panic. Ryan's hand slipped around my waist and spread wide over my stomach, hauling me back into his hard chest and frame.
"Breathe, Marie. Just breathe. You can do this."
With a small amount of pressure from his hand and arm around my body, he lowered us into a crouch. Then his free hand presented me with a file. I'd brought one too, but in my current state fishing it out of my pocket was impossible. I reached out with shaking fingers and clasped the tool he offered, almost dropping it as soon as the weight registered in my palm.
For a moment I did nothing. Just blindly stared at the sharp implement and the sweat coating my skin. For so long I've hidden behind a shield of confidence. You wouldn't know it to look at me now.
Images of my daughter's beautiful, smiling, trusting face flashed before my eyes. I'd thought I was protecting her by hiding this book. But I'd brought danger right to our door. This was never going to end unless I ended it. What lay inside that ledger would ensure no one in McLaren's circle would see the light of day ever again.
One last deep breath in.
One soft caress of Ryan's hand over my hip.
I reached forward and slipped the file between the edges of two bricks, twisted the handle, then popped the brick free.
A gaping black hole met our eyes. For a second it looked completely empty. Just masonry dust and cobwebs. I gently placed the brick that had come loose on the ground, my hand trembling with the effort. Then inserted the file into the gap and tapped it from side to side, searching for anything out of the ordinary. The idea of placing my naked hand in that disturbingly dark and dirty hole was too much to stomach right now. Thankfully it didn't take long for the ledger to announce its presence. The hollow sound of bricks being tapped by steel changed to a dull thud.