Serena’s eyes softened. “Yeah. I’m still afraid. I’ve just decided not to let my fears ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I wish I could be like you,” Julie said sadly. “Goddamn it, Serena. I’m terrified. Terrified.”
“That he’ll leave you?” Serena asked gently.
Julie wavered for a moment, her breath coming out all shaky like she was a hair from crying. She hated that. Hated coming off like a weak-kneed, emotional twit.
“I’m afraid … I’m afraid he’ll wake up one morning and the very things that first attracted him to me will be the very things that turn him away.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“I’m a bitch, Serena.”
“No, you’re not!”
“I am. I’m blunt, forceful, headstrong and confident. People often say they admire me, or they appreciate people who say it straight, who keep it real. And for a while they do, until all the new and shiny wears off and suddenly they don’t like me so much anymore. I become caustic and abrasive. The things they liked about me now turn them away. And men? They’re the worst. A strong, confident woman is sexy to them, but then they become intimidated by me and they think I’m wearing the pants in the relationship.”
“There is nothing wrong with you,” Serena said fiercely. “Other than the fact that you’ve dated morons. The right man will love you, warts and all. He’ll love your independence.
Contrary to popular belief, men really do love women who can think for themselves. They love women who can be an equal in the relationship.”
“Very well said, Serena mine,” Damon murmured.
Both women looked up to see Damon standing across the living room, his eyes glowing with pride.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he said in Julie’s direction. “But not sorry I overheard.” He walked closer and sat down in the armchair next to the couch. “Serena is right, Julie. A woman who needs protecting, the helpless female persona, can be … enticing. But beyond that first brush, that first shine of the relationship, it dulls really fast. A needy woman may appeal to the male ego, but a strong, independent woman is a treasure for the long haul.”
Julie cocked her head. “But you …” She cleared her throat uncomfortably.
“You can say what you like in front of me,” he said gently.
“You like submissive women.” She cast an apologetic look at Serena because she didn’t want her friend to think she thought she was wimpy. “How can you say those things about a strong, independent woman when you crave submission?”
Damon’s eyes twinkled. “Serena is a strong, very independent woman in her own right. She chooses to submit to me. I have no desire for a doormat. For as long as Serena is mine, I will always take care of her. However, I need to know she can take care of herself.”
Julie’s eyes watered. “Do you know why I decided not to go back to The House?”
Both Serena and Damon gave her puzzled looks.
“I saw you that night.” Again she looked at Serena in apology. “You and Damon in the common room.”
Serena’s mouth formed an O.
Damon’s expression was no less perplexed. “I’m sorry if you were offended, Julie.”
“No,” she said huskily. “I won’t lie. When I first saw what you were doing, I wanted to run over and kick your ass and then put my arms around Serena.”
“You’re a very loyal friend,” Damon said with a smile.
“You changed something in me that night. I decided I wanted a man who looked at me the way you looked at Serena.”
“Ah, Julie,” Serena murmured as she stroked a hand through Julie’s hair.
“Nathan looked at me like that,” she choked out. “He said he loved me.”
“And you don’t believe him?” Damon asked.
“I do,” she whispered. “That’s what scares me so much. If I thought he didn’t really love me I could laugh it off and know that his infatuation would wear off and it wouldn’t bother me because I’d know from the beginning that it wasn’t real. But I can’t stand the thought of him growing to hate me.”
A chill overtook her, and she shook uncontrollably. She rubbed her hands up her arms in an attempt to infuse some warmth. She hated the cold that had settled into her bones ever since she’d run from the apartment.
“Julie, I’m going to be honest,” Damon said. “I understood Serena’s concerns about our relationship. Because she shared them with me.”
Julie flushed and closed her eyes. In other words, Serena wasn’t the stone-cold coward Julie was.