Okay, she could definitely cut some of the melodrama, but it was true. Nathan had looked at her with forever in his eyes, and she’d wanted to give him those words back. Wanted it badly, but she’d caught herself. He deserved more than just an obligatory utterance. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—say it just because he’d said it to her. No, by God, she’d mean it.
Did she mean it?
She let out a soft moan. She wished she could believe it. Believe him. What if he was just caught up in the moment? What if he did what all other men did and got tired of her strong personality and left her for someone more meek and feminine?
Sweat beaded her forehead as her nausea grew. Was she good enough for Nathan?
Oh God, she did not just think that. She was not doubting her self-worth because of a man. She raised a trembling hand to her forehead and knew she had to get out of there before Nathan got out of the shower and she made a royal mess of things.
Before she lost her nerve, she hurried to the bathroom door and knocked. Before waiting for an answer, she hollered through the wood.
“I have to, uh, go out, Nathan. I don’t know when I’ll be back. You can let yourself out. I’ll, uh, see you. I’ll call you. Yeah, I’ll do that.”
She heard a harsh expletive and the crash of the medicine cabinet, but she was bolting for the front door like the scared rabbit she was.
When she spied Nathan’s keys on the bar, she had to laugh at her stupidity. She didn’t have a car. Her rental was still at Serena’s. And she was standing here like an idiot.
Making a split-second decision, she grabbed the keys and flew out the door. Seconds later, she threw herself into the driver’s seat and jammed the keys into the ignition. She cranked it and fumbled with the gearshift then put it in reverse.
As she backed away, Nathan came running out of her apartment with just a towel around his waist. He looked pissed, even more so when he saw her in his truck.
“Julie, goddamn it!” he yelled.
She punched the accelerator and left the parking lot, her hands shaking. Okay, not smart. Really not smart. She was too humiliated to turn around and go back though. In for a penny, in for a pound.
Instinctively she went in the direction of Serena’s house. It was Serena she needed to talk to right now. Serena had had doubts about Damon and their relationship. She would understand Julie’s conflict, and maybe between the two of them they could figure out what Julie’s problem was.
Faith was different. She’d known Gray was the man for her from the very beginning, and she’d gone after him with single-minded determination.
Just like …
Julie groaned and tightened her hands around the steering wheel.
Just like she’d known that Nathan was the one for her. And now that she’d gotten what she wanted, she was doing her best to screw it up. Just like she did all her other relationships.
Stupid.
As she pulled up to Damon’s house, tears swam in her eyes, which only served to piss her off more.
Serena was waiting for her at the door when she pulled up and parked in the circle drive. Had Nathan called her?
No words were exchanged when Julie trudged up to the entrance. Serena took one look at her and pulled her into a giant hug.
“Come in. You look terrible.”
“I feel terrible,” Julie choked out.
“Aw, hon, it can’t be that bad.”
Serena led her into the living room and coaxed her down onto the couch. Sam as well as the housekeeper hovered in the distance, anxious looks on their faces.
“Give us a while and see that we’re not disturbed,” Serena said softly. “I’ll call if we need anything.”
When they were alone, Serena took Julie’s hands and squeezed. “Okay, tell me what happened and why you’re driving Nathan’s truck when he’s not in it.”
Julie took a big gulp of air and spilled the entire story. From the absolutely awesome sex—not leaving any details out—to Nathan’s declaration of love and of Julie discovering that she just might love Nathan back. Hell, there was no maybe. It positively scared her how strongly she felt for this man.
“What are you afraid of, Julie?” Serena asked, sympathy ringing in her voice.
Julie gave her a watery smile. “I’m not supposed to be afraid of anything, you know? I’m a confident woman. I own my own business. But he … he makes me want things I’ve never wanted. No, scratch that. He makes me hope for things I’ve always wanted.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“Remember when you struggled so much with your relationship with Damon? Coming to terms with it? You told me you were so afraid of not being what he needed, of disappointing him.”