“Why does he like hurting her?” That more than anything Julie didn’t understand. If Damon loved Serena so much, how could he bear to cause her pain?
Cole smiled gently. “If he thought for a moment he was truly hurting her, he’d cut off his arm before allowing it to happen. He loves her, Julie. The deep, bone-wrenching kind that a guy only feels once in his life and that’s only if he’s damn lucky.”
“Then why?”
“Look again,” he said patiently. “Look at the pleasure in her eyes. Look at the pleasure in his. Your fantasy revolved around two men to see to your every need. Serena’s fantasy is this. Just what you see. How is Damon providing for her any different than your men providing for you?”
She did look, and what she saw was painful. Her eyes opened wide, and the veil lifted away. Serena’s fantasy was real. She and Damon weren’t playacting. He loved her, and she loved him. How much more powerful, how much more sexy did it make the scene playing out before her?
For the first time she understood Serena’s struggle, her fear that her love for Damon was rooted in make-believe. But for anyone watching the reverence in Damon’s actions, there was no mistaking the reality of his feelings for Serena.
Julie’s own romp between the sheets seemed such a farce now. Nothing like this beautiful display of love and devotion. Julie was hiding behind her blindfold just as surely as Serena was standing in the sun, letting the world see who it was she belonged to.
The power of her revelation weakened her. Hiding. For a woman who prided herself on taking the world by the nuts, this was hard to swallow. Coward. She winced at the word.
“I can’t do this again,” she said in a low voice.
Cole cocked his head to the side, his blue eyes curious. “Does it upset you so much to see Serena worshipped by the man she loves?”
Julie laughed huskily, ashamed of the tears that swelled in her throat. Worshipped. What an apt word. That’s precisely what Damon was doing.
“No, not now that you’ve explained it. Now that I’ve seen it and understand. She’s very lucky.”
The wistfulness in her voice made her cringe, but calling it back would have been impossible when every piece of her yearned to be looked at like Damon looked at Serena.
“What is it you can’t do then?”
She met his gaze and wondered if he would ever look at her the way Damon saw Serena. No, he wanted her. Even desired her. But he didn’t see her. And now it seemed so important that a man look at her with everything in his eyes.
God, she was losing her mind. She didn’t want a relationship. She didn’t want promises of forever. Words were so damn cheap. But she wanted that look. She would die for that look and never ask for anything else.
‘I’ve been playing games,” she said ruefully. “It’s what I do best.”
Cole moved closer, touching her cheek with gentle fingers.
“There’s nothing wrong with games, Julie. Not everything has to be about love and commitment.”
She laughed. “Two hours ago that would have been music to my ears. Who knows, maybe when I wake up in the morning and kick my ass around a bit, it’ll sound wonderful again. But tonight …” She sighed. “Will you do me a favor and let Damon know that I won’t be back? I’ll call and thank him later. He’s truly the best. Serena is one lucky bitch.”
Her gaze went back to the center of the room to see Damon’s hands gliding over the marks on Serena’s skin. His lips followed a similar path. She swallowed against a dry tongue when Damon unfastened his pants and moved behind Serena. God, he was going to make love to her in front of everyone else.
Cole remained silent next to her as they watched. There was no discomfort evident to Serena or Damon. No, they were focused solely on each other. The rest of the world didn’t exist for them.
Serena arched against her bonds as Damon grasped her hips and guided his erect cock into her depths. Julie tried to look away. She shouldn’t be watching. This was her friend. Their lovemaking should be a private matter. But she couldn’t tear herself away from the beauty of the two people allowing their love to shine over the entire room.
A knot formed in her throat. Tears shimmered in her vision. Never had she been so affected by sex. But no, this wasn’t just sex. Sex was a paltry word to describe what was before her. Beautiful. Magnificent. Soul stirring. As long as she lived, Julie would never forget this night and what seeing Damon and Serena had done to her on a primitive level. Later she would marvel at how much they had changed her outlook, her own desires and needs.
Damon held Serena, lifting her so that her weight wasn’t born by the ropes securing her wrists to the wooden beam. His movements weren’t entirely gentle, in fact he made love to her almost brutally, and yet his love for her was so obvious in each touch, the gentle caresses intermixed with the savagery of his thrusts.