Laughing he left the bathroom and a moment later returned with a foam cup.
“Not that this is likely to keep any more pee off my hand,” she said as she eyed it.
Gray dutifully remained silent while she administered the test. When she was finished, she laid it gently on the counter and the two of them stared at it like it would go off after the allotted time.
She blew out her breath, puffing her cheeks as the air whooshed out. “Okay, so now we wait.”
“Come here,” he said, holding out his arms.
She slid easily into his embrace, pressing against his muscled chest. Her fingers idly brushed over where she knew the scar lay under his shirt. A reminder of how close she came to losing him. She closed her eyes, willing those memories away.
“You know we’ll handle this, no matter what,” he said.
She nodded. And she did know. It wasn’t as if either of them had anything against children. She just wanted … time. Time with Gray. Time to enjoy it being just the two of them. Later when they were comfortable in their relationship, comfortable with each other and some of the new and shiny had worn off, then they could think about children.
“Here’s what I suggest,” he said as he pulled her away from his chest. “I think we should go out and celebrate. Dinner, some good conversation and then come home and make love until we pass out. The only unknown is what we’ll be celebrating, right?”
She leaned forward and linked her arms around his neck. “That sounds absolutely wonderful. Especially the part about making love until we drop. I’ve missed you, Gray. As much as I love surprises, I don’t like them at the expense of you being away so much.”
He kissed her nose and then her cheeks and finally her lips. By the time he nuzzled a path down her neck, she’d forgotten what it was they’d been talking about.
“I have plans for you tonight,” he murmured.
A delicious thrill ran up her spine and exploded at her nape. She loved it when he got all mysterious and brooding and sexy.
Then she frowned. If she was pregnant, they’d have to curb some of their sexual activities, wouldn’t they? Not that Gray would ever hurt her, but the lash of a crop, a belt, sometimes a flogger … A dreamy sigh escaped her lips as she imagined him stroking her skin, raising red-hot heat across her body.
No, she couldn’t think that way. If she was pregnant, it would only be a temporary restraint on their part. But then she began to imagine sleepless nights, never being alone. No more kneeling in the living room as he fucked her mouth. No more lying over the arm of the couch while he fucked her long and hard.
With a groan, she buried her face in his neck, quivering with nervousness.
“Baby.”
The single endearment stroked over her ears, soothing and quieting her worries. She was being selfish. Children meant change, and if she was pregnant, she certainly couldn’t escape the inevitable.
She raised her head, disgusted by the sheen of tears hanging in her vision.
“I think it’s been five minutes,” he said softly.
She started to look over but he caught her chin, forcing her gaze back to him.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” she whispered. “Think we should look now?”
He reached over without looking and snagged the test. His hand covered the result window as he pulled it between them.
“You look,” she said.
Slowly, he opened his hand, staring down at the test lying on his palm. When he frowned, her heart dropped.
“What does it say?”
“You’re not pregnant,” he said softly.
Her eyes widened. Simultaneously relief and, oddly enough, disappointment swamped her. Why was she disappointed?
“That’s a good thing, right?” she asked cautiously, still unsure of his reaction. He didn’t seem happy.
He stared back down at the test. “Yeah, it’s a good thing. We’re not ready. You’re not ready, honey, and I don’t want you to have a baby until we’re both sure it’s what we want.”
“I hear a but in there,” she said gently.
He pressed his lips together in a rueful expression. “Would you believe that just for a teeny, tiny moment I was imagining what our baby would look like? Whether it would be a girl who was as gorgeous as her mama, or a boy who was as ornery as his father?”
Her heart ached just a bit too so she knew exactly what he meant. For a little bit she’d actually allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy of what a child would mean. And even though she knew without a doubt they’d escaped a kink in their relationship they didn’t need, a part of her was disappointed.
“What it means is that you and I will make wonderful parents when the time comes,” she said with a smile.