“We’re not talking about me any more, are we?”
“Listen.” Gwen’s eyes are bright in the late afternoon sun. “The only thing that matters is that you love him. And she’s a part of him. You’ll love her, too.”
Gwen’s words echo in my mind as I stand paralyzed at Luke’s front door, debating whether to ring the bell or bolt. My stomach churns loudly enough to drown out my heartbeat. I’m not sure I can do this. But it’s too late. I sent him a text already. A cheerful, looking forward it to it text. There were exclamation points and smiley faces involved. I can’t take back a smiley face.
Inside, I hear the slap of bare feet against the floor, and a half-laugh, half-screech so loud I can’t help but smile. I’m reaching for the bell when the door swings open. Luke’s wearing a white t-shirt and bottle green shorts, accessorized with a frilly pink apron and an equally pink chef’s hat about six sizes too small. There’s a dab of chocolate on his cheek.
“Oh. Wow.” I bite the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh. “You look amazing. And so big! Lilah, is it?”
“Hilarious,” Luke deadpans, patting the chef’s hat. “I’ve been instructed that if I don’t wear the chef’s hat, the cookies will be sad.”
“Sad cookies are the worst.” I extend the plastic bottle I brought as a last-minute dinner offering. “Apple juice?”
Luke’s grin is enough to melt my anxiety. Some of it, anyway. “That’s really sweet. Come on in. You look great.” He takes the apple juice and closes the door behind me.
“Thanks.” I smooth the red and black-striped boatneck tee I’m wearing with skinny jeans and flats. I’d changed clothes at least four times, until Waverly told me that the boatneck said “I’m casual, fun, and definitely not banging your dad.”
Done.
When Luke locks the door, I catch a whiff of vanilla extract. I want to bury my mouth in his neck.
“Daaaaaaaaaaaad!” I hear Lilah’s voice before I see her, dashing out of the bathroom in tights, a t-shirt, and an apron that matches Luke’s. There’s a purple tutu cinched around her waist. She stops in her tracks when she sees me.
I freeze. “Um… hey, there.” Hey there?
She tilts her head to one side, studying me. I’m suddenly, strangely overwhelmed. That’s exactly what Luke does when he can’t figure me out. She looks exactly like him.
“Are you Dad’s friend?”
I nod. Swallow the lump in my throat. “I am. My name is Elle.” I extend my hand. “And you’re Lilah?”
“Yeah. If you’re uncomferble, it’s okay,” she informs me. “But you still have to be nice.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it, holding on for dear life.
“Um…” I glance at Luke, who looks amused and embarrassed at the same time.
“We may have had a heart-to-heart before you got here,” he explains.
“Come on! We’re making cookies!” Lilah drags me to the kitchen table, where bowls of toppings surround a baking sheet topped with mounds of sprinkles and frosting. The table is covered in a fine mist of pink sugar.
“There’s some cookie dough under there somewhere.” Luke helps Lilah climb onto the chair. Gingerly, she reaches for a white chocolate chip and places it carefully atop a mountain of marshmallows.
“That one’s beautiful.” I take a seat next to Lilah and push up my sleeves. “Can I decorate one?”
“Well, I did them all already. But you can have this one.” She picks red heart candies out of a lump of dough and pops them all in her mouth.
“Hey! What did I say?” Luke protests.
“After dinner.” She sticks out her tongue, which is stained bright red. “Too late.”
“Did you swallow those whole?” The edges of Luke’s stern grimace twitch with laughter. “Lilah.”
“Hey, Dad! Take a picture of us making cookies!”
I’m taken aback when I feel Lilah’s tiny arms around my waist. Awkwardly, I rest my hand on her shoulder while Luke fumbles with his cell phone.
“Alright. Say sugar cookie. One, two…”
“SUGAR COOKIE!” Lilah practically screams at the phone.
“Very good.” Luke mouths an I’m sorry at me.
“Hey, Dad?”
“Yes, Lilah Bear?”
“I have to tell you a secret.” Standing on her tiptoes, Lilah lifts her lips to Luke’s ear. But instead of whispering, she plants a bright red kiss on his jaw.
“Best secret EVER!” Luke grabs Lilah and squeezes her. She squeals, pretending to try to get away as he holds her tighter. I watch them together, glancing at the ceiling every few seconds. My throat closes in.