My cell buzzes on the toilet seat, at least the tenth time since I’d left Luke’s. I bolt upright in the tub, sending suds sloshing over the edge. My head is pounding. I scoop up the phone and power it off. I have zero to say to Luke Poulos.
“El? You okay in there?” Gwen calls from the other side of my door.
“Fine.” I sink back into the tub until my earlobes dip beneath the water. “I just kind of want to be alone, okay?”
“Okay. It’s just… um, Luke’s at the door? He looks upset.”
“I don’t want to see him.” Lowering my lips to the surface, I blow bubbles across the tub. “Tell him to go away.”
“Huh?” I hear the handle turn, and suddenly Gwen’s leaning in the doorway. “What’s going on with you guys?”
“Can you shut the door?” I snap.
“Yeah. Sure.” She comes in and closes the door behind her. She’s wearing scrub bottoms and a ratty tank top, her face soft with sleep.
“Not exactly what I meant.”
“Well, that’s just too bad.” She steps over my heels and dress and sits cross-legged on the toilet seat. “He’s like, freaking out, El. He says he really needs to talk to you. What’s going on, lovebug?”
“I told you, I don’t want to see him.” For the first time since this morning, I can feel tears welling up. Maybe it’s the way Gwen’s speaking to me. Softer and sweeter than I would ever speak to myself. Certainly sweeter than my mother has ever spoken to me. “I really just want him to leave.”
“Did he hurt you?” Gwen’s expression hardens like granite.
“Nothing like that, I just—”
“HELLO?” Waverly raps on the door, hard enough to send my bathrobe sliding off its hook. “Does somebody want to explain why Luke Poulos just saw me in my ugly robe?” She rattles the handle and barges in. “What are you guys doing?”
I sink even deeper beneath my bubble blanket. “Waverly, can you—”
“She just wants to be alone,” Gwen barks. “That means get out.”
“And you get to stay?” Waverly sits on the edge of the tub. I shrink away from her. “God, Elle. You look like shit.” She tightens the sash on a Pepto pink silk robe. She wears her black sleep mask like a tiara.
“Thanks. And by the way, that is an ugly robe.”
“Okay. Okay.” Gwen shifts into her calming yoga-instructor voice, which sounds ridiculously fake. “Everybody take a deep breath.” She finds a lighter in my top drawer and lights a citrus candle on the shelf over my toilet. “We need some good vibes in here, man.”
Waverly and I roll our eyes.
“I mean it!” Gwen barks. “Deep, cleansing breaths! Both of you! In through the nose! Out through the mouth!”
“Fine.” I do it, just to shut her up.
“Now,” Gwen rests her palms on her knees, facing upward. “Could you please explain why there is a very attractive, sweet guy at our front door, and why you are in here, refusing to see him? Aaand, go.”
“Gwen, I don’t really—”
“GO!”
“Okay, okay.” As my body prunes in the warm water, I tell them everything. I know it will come out eventually. At least they’re both here, so I don’t have to tell the story more than once. I don’t ever want to speak about this again. I don’t even want to think about it. All I want is to erase Luke Poulos from my brain. Permanently.
“Ohmygod,” Gwen whispers when I’ve finished. “Ellie, I… I don’t—” She reaches over and squeezes my wrist. “He’s married? I—”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. There’s not really anything to say.”
“BullSHIT, there’s nothing to say!” Waverly yells, which comes out more like “BUY-ULL SHIYIT, they-ers nuthin’ to say!” She jumps up and storms out of the bathroom. After a few seconds, we can hear her yelling at the front door. She’s so loud that if Luke’s even trying to speak, I can’t hear him.
“God, I love it when she goes all rogue redneck,” Gwen says ruefully.
“I can’t believe that accent!” I burst out laughing. At the same time, the tears start to come.
“I know. I’ve only heard it one other time,” Gwen says. She doesn’t ignore my tears, but doesn’t try to stop them. I’d hug her if I weren’t naked. “Early last year. I borrowed these insane flats of hers. They were this beautiful turquoise color. The softest leather you’d ever seen.”
“Vegan?” I quip through my tears.