Kaidan wore the red T-shirt. The one I had borrowed from him once upon a time. I let myself imagine that he’d thought of me when he picked it out tonight. Stupid. I also wore a red shirt, but mine was baby-doll style, with sleeves that cinched together at the shoulders. It had been a spontaneous purchase on my back-to-school shopping day.
I hated myself for staring. I wanted him to notice me, but I feared what I would see in his eyes. So when his head tilted up and his eyes blasted into mine, I held my breath. Neither of us moved or reacted.
A thin arm came around my shoulder and pulled me from the rail. I ripped my eyes from Kaidan.
“Your little human is a cupcake,” Marna whispered.
“Does he have a girlfriend?” Ginger asked, stepping over to us.
“No,” I said.
“Then don’t bother,” Ginger said. “Find someone useful to work on.”
“Nobody’s working on Jay,” I stated.
“I wasn’t planning on it, honest,” Marna promised me before turning on her sister. “Can’t I take one flippin’ night off? We’re on holiday!”
Ginger’s iron resolve seemed to waver as she looked at her sister’s bottom lip puckered out.
“Oh, fine. Whatever. I swear, one day, Marna...”
Ginger leaned back against the rail with her elbows up and viewed the band over her shoulder. I watched Kaidan acknowledge her with a curt nod, and she signaled back with an unladylike hand gesture. He lifted a corner of his mouth in amusement. There had to be a story between those two. That kind of animosity didn’t stem from nothing.
“Uh-oh,” Marna whispered. “Cupcake might not be in such a good mood tonight after all....”
Ginger and I turned to see Jay standing alone at the rail, while his guardian angel went ballistic around him. No! He took off his baseball hat and turned it around, pulling the bill low on his forehead. Ginger grabbed my arm when I moved toward him.
“You can’t interfere!” she hissed. I pulled my arm away and watched until his angel settled.
“Is it gone?” I whispered to the girls.
“Yes, he’s below us with the crowd now,” Marna said.
I walked over to Jay, hoping the whisperer would not come back and take notice. Ginger cursed behind me.
His eyes were dark, partially hidden under the hat. He didn’t register my hand when I put it on his forearm. Jay stared down at the band, and a noxious bright green seeped into his emotions. I looked over at Blake, who was watching me. All four of them were watching me. I took it as a sign that the whisperer was gone, and I focused on Jay.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked him.
He shook his head. His angel wrapped its cloudy wings around him. Maybe between his angel and me, we could pull him out of this.
“It just sucks that someone else has to perform my song.” Bitterness laced each word. “I want to be able to do it myself. I’ll never be in a band. I’ll always be the short, fat guy behind the scenes.”
“Jay!” I gasped. “First of all, you are not fat. You are healthy and handsome and strong. Second of all, any one of those guys down there would give anything to be able to create music from nothing the way you do. That song was incredible, and it’s yours. But you can’t have it all. If you could sing, but you had no creative imagination, you wouldn’t be Jay. You would be shallow lead-singer Michael, with no depth at all. We can’t all be performers. If there were no behind-the-scenes, there would be no music industry. How bad would that suck?”
“I hear you,” he said, and the vile green slowly began to peel away in thin strips. “It’d just be nice to be the guy up front for once.”
I softened my tone. “Do you think that’s what every girl wants? Because it’s not. Just remember it’s the good guys who win in the end, Jay,” I said. “Someday those girls will be fighting over which one gets to marry you.”
“Sure, after they’ve spent years chasing after the a-holes who treat them like crap. Then we get to pick up the pieces. That ain’t fair.”
“No, it’s not fair. You’re right.” I wrapped my arms around his hulky chest and squeezed him tight.
“Thanks, Anna. Sorry I’m bein’ a downer.” He pulled away and readjusted his hat, lifting it a little higher on his brow now. “How are you, anyway? Is it weird to be here?” He motioned in Kaidan’s direction and I quickly shook my head, not wanting the others to catch his meaning.
“I’m glad I came. Everything’s fine.”
“We can go whenever you want. Just say the word. They’ve got two more songs. I’m not going backstage tonight.” I noticed him glancing in Marna’s direction.