“Have you ever been sick?” he asked, holding my eyes with his.
“Sick... ?” I couldn’t think.
“The flu. Tonsilitis. Anything?” Now he had my attention.
Another spasm pushed me further out of my dream state as I bent over with my hands on my knees.
“Maybe this little sweet will help you.” He held a small white pill. Yes! I grabbed for it, but he was faster.
“Answer all of my questions first. Any illnesses in your lifetime?”
“No.”
“How far back can you remember?”
This question stilled my trembling. We stared hard at each other. He couldn’t possibly know about that. It was my ultimate secret.
He moved closer, just as he had the night we met, and lowered his voice. “Answer the question.”
I stared up at his mouth, his handsome lips, and for a second I forgot about the pill. I cleared my throat.
“Fine,” I whispered. “All the way back. My birth, and even before that. Happy?”
He nodded, straight-faced. I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted that out loud to him, and he hadn’t reacted as if it were the slightest bit strange. I looked down at his hand by his side in a tight fist, my escape from reality held within it.
“Now for the important part,” he said. “Who is your father?”
“I-I don’t know. I was adopted.”
“Bollocks. You must have some idea.” He raised his arm, and his hand hovered over the water.
“There was this one man! I remember him from the day I was born. Jonathan LaGray. I’ve always assumed he was my father, but I’ve never even talked to him. Please! I don’t know anything about him. He’s in prison.” I stared at his hand as he lowered it to the safety of his side.
“Yes, of course,” said Kaidan, eyeing me differently now. “I should have guessed from your behavior tonight.”
My thoughts weren’t coherent enough to care what he meant. I was shaking all over now, frantic with longing. I had to stay in my escape world. I couldn’t go back.
“My pill,” I pleaded.
“You mean this one?” He held it up and my eyes widened. “Sorry, luv, just an aspirin.” And to my horror he nonchalantly tossed it into the lake, and with a light plunk it sank.
“No!” I screamed. He stilled me by grasping my upper arms in his strong hands.
“How long ago did he give you the drug?”
“What? I don’t know, maybe thirty, no, forty minutes?”
“It should be completely out of your system very soon. You’ll be fine. Just sit here and try to calm yourself.”
He released my arms and I sat down, resting my forehead on my knees and rocking back and forth, battling minor tremors. He was cruel for tricking me with that pill. I hadn’t wanted something that badly since those pain pills years ago.
The wind blew against my skin again and I heard tiny waves splash the rocky shore. After two minutes, the thick fog in my head started to lift and I was racked with the ugliness of clarity.
I should not have come to this stupid party. I should have left the second I found out Gene’s parents weren’t here. I couldn’t believe Scott thought it was okay to give me Ecstasy. Why had I loved it and craved more, like some kind of fiend? Ugh, I almost got my first kiss while I was high!
I looked up now and saw Kaidan sitting on the edge of the dock again, looking out at the water, and realized what his questions meant. He knew something about me. I approached him, afraid he would bolt if I pressed too hard for information.
“Why did it come and go so fast?” I asked.
“Our bodies fight anything foreign.” Our bodies? “Germs, cancer, disease, the whole lot. Drugs and alcohol burn through quickly. Hardly worth the effort. I tried smoking. Spent days coughing up black tar.”
“That’s attractive,” I said.
“Precisely. Can’t afford to be unattractive.” He laughed without any amusement.
“So...” I was desperate not to scare him off. “Are you like me?”
“Yes, and no, it seems.”
I noticed something then. I would’ve seen it sooner if I hadn’t been out of my mind on X.
“Why don’t you have one of those cloud thingies around you?” I asked him.
He turned and looked at me in disbelief.
“‘Cloud thingies’? You can’t be serious.”
“Do you know what I’m talking about? You do, don’t you!”
He began to stand and I jumped to my feet as well. He looked up at the house, furrowing his brow.
“Are your senses back now?” he asked.
I knew he meant my special senses, and I marveled at how normal he made it sound.