“I don’t know,” I said. “I used to know what I wanted, but not anymore.”
He considered this, watching me with curiosity. “What did you want?”
I reached down and touched the water. “A family, mostly.”
“And you no longer want that?”
I dried my hands on my jeans, trying not to get emotional. At one time, I wanted a loving husband and a houseful of kids more than anything in the world. But I’d let go of those dreams. I couldn’t even adopt a child. What would the Dukes say if they caught me playing house?
“I can’t have those things,” I told him, still avoiding his stare. “And I’m tired of wanting things I can’t have.”
His voice was low when he responded. “Perhaps children are out of the question, but you could still have a husband, in secret.”
My eyes flew up to his, and my skin sizzled as his words settled over me. I opened my mouth, but couldn’t speak. His light eyes played chicken with mine, not backing down from his claim.
“It’s too dangerous,” I said.
“You are young.” He didn’t state it in a condescending way, but I still bristled. “Someday you may agree that there are dangers worth facing.”
I swallowed, wishing my crazy heart would stop trying to break out of my rib cage. Nearby footsteps sounded, coming toward us on the shiny floor.
Veronica, Jay, and Gregory approached.
“Hey, guys,” I said. The three of them looked back and forth between the serious faces of Kopano and me. I couldn’t spare a smile of reassurance because my heart still raced from the sound of Kope’s voice and the words he’d spoken.
“Hey, man. It’s Kopano, right?” Jay asked.
“Yes.” Kopano stood and they shook hands.
“How you been?” Jay asked.
“Very well, and you?”
“Good, thanks.” It was an awkward, but sweet exchange.
Veronica gawked the entire time. She kept giving me the big-eyed look that promised she would pester me for details afterward. I introduced Kopano to Veronica and Gregory. Unabashed, she eyed him up and down after they shook hands, wearing a bright aura of fascinated interest.
“I must be on my way,” Kopano said to me.
“Will you tell the twins I said hello?”
He nodded. A silent moment ensued where we all stood there not knowing what to do next. Veronica cleared her throat and grabbed Jay’s arm.
“Let’s go,” she told him. Jay waved good-bye to Kope and they walked away with Gregory right behind.
“Call me if you all want to hang out or anything,” I told Kope.
With a hesitant movement, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist for a quick hug. Kopano held me close like a man who’d been starved of affection. I blinked back tears and ran my palms over his back. He was big and strong, and had no interest in letting me go. So I let him hold me. I rested my face against his chest and breathed in a mild tropical smell. When I started imagining the caramel pheromones he was capable of emitting, I had to pull away, feeling too shy to meet his eye.
“Take care of yourself, Anna,” he said.
“You, too,” I whispered.
I spent the next day lost in thought, mulling over Kopano’s comment about a husband, and also trying to figure out why the twins would fly into Atlanta instead of a city closer to Kope. Unless they wanted to see Kaidan, assuming Pharzuph was in New York. It made me jealous that the twins were allowed to call and see Kai, but I wasn’t.
And then there was Kopano. His words had jarred me. For all I knew, he could have been speaking in hypotheticals, but I didn’t think so. I believed he was talking about us. He was everything I wanted in a guy: gorgeous, humble, no games. If I’d met him first, there was no telling what might’ve happened. And as much as I knew I should let Kaidan go, I wasn’t ready.
The next day, just as the sun was setting, I sat on the edge of Patti’s bed while she packed her suitcase.
“I wish you would change your mind and come with me,” she said.
“I already made plans with Jay and Veronica for New Year’s.”
One of the papers was sending Patti to cover the ball dropping in Times Square. She must have earned herself a good rep, because it was a big deal to get this kind of job. I could see it was hurting her to leave me behind.
“It’s all right, Patti. I’ll be fine.”
“I know. But we always celebrate together. I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m gonna miss you, too.”
My cell phone beeped in my pocket. When I pulled it out, my pulse jumped at the sight of my dad’s number. He’d never texted me before.