“That would not be good,” Hayley whispered and my eyes swung to her.
And for the first time, I saw her, straight into her black soul.
And seeing that, I told her, “You’re a joke.”
“What?” she was still whispering.
“You’re a vulture but the thing is, you aren’t very good at it.”
Her back straightened, her eyes narrowed and she came right out and showed her true colors when she stated, “Good enough to get your man.”
“Right, good enough to get that,” I pointed at Brad. “But, see, I’m good enough to get that.” And I pointed at Tate. “And that, darlin’, is something you’ll never have because a good man will see straight through you and want nothing to do with that and that’s just plain, old sad.”
Hayley stared at me then she looked at Brad and asked incredulously, “Is she really what you want when you can have me?”
“He only wants me because he can’t have me,” I educated Hayley. “And he no longer wants you because he knows he can have you and he knows someone better than him doesn’t want you. Jeez, Hayley,” I muttered impatiently, “wake up and get a clue.”
She opened her mouth to speak but Tate got there before her.
“Five minutes are up, Ace,” Tate cut in, I looked at him then I saw Steg, Wings and Jim-Billy come off their stools like soldiers who had just been given orders.
I nodded to Tate and looked at Brad, deciding to sum up. “I don’t hate you. I hate her.” I pointed to Hayley and my eyes went to her. “Women have it hard enough, we don’t need our sisters behaving like you. It was up to me, we’d take away your membership card.” Nadine laughed softly at this but I looked back to Brad. “But you, I don’t feel anything for you. I just want you to get out of my life so I can live it. And you, you’re so full of yourself, after taking so much from me for so long and not giving anything in return, not love, not attention, not affection, not understanding, not even birthday presents, you won’t give me even this. So you want to take more so you can try to save face? Do it. I don’t care. It’s all the same to me because while you’re making a fool of yourself, I get to go home to Jonas and Tate and make them dinner and watch TV and climb into bed with my old man and you don’t exist until you make your presence known and then you’re just a nuisance and a reason for Tate and me to share a laugh because just like her,” I jerked my head at Hayley, “in the end, you’re just a joke.”
“You can’t make me believe you honestly want this life,” Brad returned.
“Brad, it’s so beautiful, I not only want it, I’d fight and die to keep it,” I shot back.
Not unwilling but completely unable to believe I’d pick a life without him, Brad kept going. “You know I can give you more than he ever can.”
“You’re wrong,” I whispered, looked him straight in the eye and kept whispering when I pulled out the big guns. “I sleep.”
Brad’s face got pale.
“What?” he asked, but he knew what, he knew exactly what. I’d aimed, I’d fired and I’d hit the bulls-eye.
“Like a baby, straight through. Tate’s in bed with me, I don’t wake up.”
Brad stared at me, his face blanched of color, his expression stuck in a flinch. “Ree –”
“Straight through,” I repeated quietly. “He gives me peace.”
“Darling –”
“Peace, Brad, which means he gives me everything and you never, never gave me that.” I shook my head. “Not even close.”
“Honey –”
“Please give me one thing, just one thing. Leave me to my peace,” I whispered.
Brad held my gaze and I saw his throat working and I remembered, a long time ago, when my insomnia bothered Brad like it bothered Tate. I remembered a time when he wanted to make me better. I remembered a long, long time ago when he thought he, too, could fix me and give me peace and he wanted that for me and he wanted to be the one who gave it to me.
And I remembered that it didn’t take long for him to stop wanting that.
And I knew Brad remembered too because a miracle occurred in the instant he did.
Bradford Whitaker finally became human.
I knew when he asked, “Who’s Jonas?”
“Tate’s son,” I answered and Brad closed his eyes, pain, fleeting but real, sliced through his features because, a long time ago, he’d wanted to give me that too and then he didn’t.
He opened his eyes again.
“We should have had children,” he whispered.