Sweet Carolina(35)
“I didn't believe him either. I never met my dad. Didn't know who he was. All my mother ever told me was that he was the love of her life, but they couldn't be together. I never understood why. Kids don't ask about stuff like that, you know? Anyway, the next day was Mother's Day. My mom was there for the race. You know, everyone's mother is honored before the race.”
“I wouldn't know about that,” Dell said.
“No, I guess you wouldn't,” Warner said. “Sorry.”
“I'm not asking for your pity,” Dell said.
“And you won't get it,” he said before he continued. “Anyway, it took a while for me to get to her.” He paused. “I had to answer a lot of questions from the NASCAR officials. And there was a shit-load of reporters. I still don't know what I told them. I guess I said something, because they left me alone after that. I finally tracked down Mom at her hotel. I didn't even have to ask. She was a mess, crying, yelling. You don't need to know all of it; just that she blamed me for killing the only man she ever loved – and I guess that included me, because she said she never wanted to see me again. I haven't seen her since.”
Silence descended on the room. Dell forgot all about his unfinished beer. Memories of all the times Caudell compared him to Warner, and found Dell wanting. Even on the day he died – apparently at the hands of his beloved, bastard son – he'd scolded Dell for not being more like Warner. His gut churned as a white-hot anger began to burn inside him. Snippets of conversation, moments frozen in time and seared on his mind. They made sense in light of Warner's declaration, and the flame of hate burned brighter. Warner continued as if he hadn't just opened the gates of hell and let all the demons run loose.
“So look, Dell. I admit I've been out to get you – not kill you. You're my brother, and probably the only family I've got. For a long time, I resented you. You had everything I didn't. You had our dad all to yourself, and I never had him at all. I went through a period where I hated you for getting all the money he left.”
Dell jerked his gaze from the stubborn spot on the carpet to Warner. His brother held up a staying hand. “I'm over it now. It was petty, I know, but it's taken me a while to assimilate all this. I don't care about the money. I just want to understand why Caudell never made me a part of his life.”
Dell chuckled. Oh, if Warner only knew how Caudell had felt about him. But he'd be damned if he was going to share the information with him. That was a private pain, and if Warner suffered for it, so much the better.
Chapter Ten
“Are you through?” Dell asked through gritted teeth.
“Almost. I'll admit to jealousy and to trying to make your life miserable, placing blame where it didn't belong, but I'm not trying to kill you.” Warner stood and took a few steps toward the door before he stopped and turned to Dell. “I'm not expecting us to become a family, and I'm not going to tell anyone else about this, us, I mean. I figure if Butch knows, other people know. I'm tired of the all the fighting on the track – in the cars and out. From now on, if I go after you on the track, it's about track position and nothing else.”
Dell sat corpse still, absorbing everything Warner said long after his bastard brother was gone. As bizarre as it was, it cleared up a lot of things Dell never understood growing up. His mother went away when he was five years old, leaving Dell with his father. One day she was there, and the next she was gone. He remembered crying buckets for months after she left, but the only explanation Caudell ever gave him for her defection was when Dell was about ten. Dell said something about how he wished he had a mother, and Caudell's response still stunned him. His father looked him in the eye and said, “She didn't understand men. We have needs.”
Yeah, needs. Caudell always had someone to take care of his needs. His father's indiscriminate affairs disgusted Dell. Caudell never tried to hide the track bunnies he brought back to their motor home, but none of them ever stayed more than one night, or a few hours. No doubt, Warner's mother had been one of them.
Dell shook his head. It was a wonder there weren't a dozen more bastard siblings out there. Who knew? If there was one, there could be more.
But did he believe Warner? He mulled it over and came to the conclusion that yes, he did. Did his revelation change anything? It remained to be seen. Just because they shared the old man's blood didn't mean Dell was going to cut Warner any slack during a race. Dell raced to win, no matter who was on the track. If Warner wanted to back off from his vengeance against Dell, that was his prerogative. But it didn't mean Dell had to do the same. He didn’t give a good goddamned about familial blood, especially if it stood between a checkered flag and him.