"I'll be fine. Just tired, I think."
He leads me to the living room and sits. Before I can take a spot next to him, he pulls me on his lap. I don't argue. Instead, I curl up against his chest and listen to his heartbeat, steady and strong.
My body relaxes, my shoulders softening, and I sink deeper into him. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.
"I was going to make you get all dressed up and take you dinner," he whispers. "I wanted to show you off."
I grin against his shirt. "Not tonight."
"I'm okay with sitting with you like this all night. No complaints from me."
We sit quietly, the only sound coming from a talk show on the television.
"I talked to Danielle today," he says. "She loved the idea of partnering up with Halcyon on a back-to-school fundraiser in the fall."
"Really?"
"Really." He kisses the top of my head. "I told her all about you and she can't wait to meet you."
Fisting his shirt in my hands, I squeeze my eyes closed. "Do you really think that's a good idea, Ford?"
"What? You meeting Danielle? Yeah. You'll get along great."
I pull away and scoot off his lap. "I'm sure she's fabulous. And thank you for mentioning Halcyon to her. That means a lot to me."
He pulls his brows together and takes me in. "What are you getting at?"
"I just . . . I think we've been going a little too fast."
I flinch when he laughs. It's not what I'm expecting. Not at all.
"Fast? Are you kidding me right now?" he asks. "Hell, I've been doing everything I can to slow this down."
"I didn't realize you didn't want-"
His index finger lies against my lips, silencing me. "If I had my way, you'd be moved in with me already, beautiful."
I beg my heart to behave and not start swooning. I can't. Not this time. This time, I have to be an adult and think.
"Ellie? What's wrong?"
"I, um, I just think we need to take a step back."
"Why in the hell would we do that?"
"We're just barreling along here, being complete hedonists, and not thinking about the ramifications later," I say, the words spilling out quicker than I can keep up. "We are on such different pages in our lives and there's no sense in keeping this up when we can see if we'd just look that we can't-"
His mouth is pressed against mine, his hand palming the back of my head. The words are scooped up with his tongue as I sigh the rest of them in his mouth.
Not having a choice to kiss him or not is a relief. I'd have said no, but maybe I wouldn't have meant it.
This is where I'm happy. This is where I want to be, wrapped up in his arms, breathing him in. It just doesn't mean it's the best place for me.
He breaks the kisses, tapping one on my nose, before pulling away. "Let's try this again. This time, without a hundred-word ramble," he grins.
I clear my throat, my lips still stinging from his delicious assault. "Okay. What I was trying to say is that I think we need to not press this thing between us any farther than it already is. Not right now."
"And . . . why would we do that?"
"We want different things, for one," I sigh, standing up. Making my way to the mantle, I figure it's far enough away from him to think. "You want . . . I don't even know what you want," I admit. "That's a problem."
"I want you. How hard is that to wrap your head around?"
"You say that, but then you tell me you want to get married, have kids, get a dog . . ."
"I have a dog and she's epic. If I tried to replace her, it would hurt her feelings."
"You know what I mean," I say, rolling my eyes. "You want this cookie-cutter life, and I just don't know that I want that."
"Why not?" He scoots to the edge of the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees. "You love me. I love you. Maybe we haven't said those things yet, but it's as fact as the day is long."
A soft smile tickles my lips and I sit on the edge of the fireplace stoop to stop the shakiness in my legs. "You say that, and then you say you're going to go trekking all over the country. That's not really conducive to a family lifestyle, Ford."
"I said I might do that," he groans. "Might, as in maybe. Possibly. Not definitely."
"I can tell you I definitely don't want to live that way. I want to live here, with my father, my business, my roots. I don't want a long-distance relationship. I have no interest. Zero." I pick up a magazine and roll it in my hands. "But I know you have to go with your brother."