"They kind of made me proud when they came to me with a plan in place," Graham almost beams.
"Watch it or I'll be taking your job," Camilla laughs.
They banter back and forth, and I struggle to hear Mallory's end of the conversation. Her voice trickles into the kitchen, but not loud enough to make out words. I'm relieved when she appears in the doorway. Her phone is at her side. My eyes are glued to it, hoping that maybe Ellie is still on there and wants to talk to me. But when I look back at Mal's face, I know it's not true.
"What did she say?" I ask, a hint of nerves in my tone.
"Not much . . ." She continues her pace across the room until she's standing at Graham's side. "She's a little angry, I think. Maybe it's more just shock. I'm not really sure."
"Did she say anything about me specifically?"
She considers this. "Yes. Of course. But . . ."
"But you aren't going to tell me, are you?"
"I can't," she sighs.
"You did this," I point out, flashing Graham a quick look too. "I should be a hell of a lot more pissed off than I am because I'm still reeling from it. Ellie's just not another girl, and you two," I say, motioning to my siblings, "know that."
My chest rises and falls beneath my white dress shirt. Suddenly, I feel like I can't breathe deeply enough. I work to undo the top two buttons, but my fingers fumble. Camilla takes pity on me and reaches up and helps me out.
"Answer me this: are you sure she isn't in a relationship?" I ask.
"She's not," Cam replies. "She told Joy she hasn't been in a serious one in a long time."
My brain roars to life, processing a thousand memories, a million ideas, in a few short minutes. "Is she going to have a serious problem when I show up there again?"
"You're really going to go?" Mallory asks with a wide smile. "She said you mentioned it, but she thought you were just kind of blowing off at the mouth."
"Do I ever do that?"
"Yes," Camilla says at the same time Mallory says, "No."
"You three should've handled this differently." I look pointedly at Graham. "For how smart you are, you can be really fucking stupid."
"But . . ." Mallory goads.
"But I can't worry about that right now because I have to figure out how to make her not throw me out of Halcyon when I show back up there."
Camilla squeals, clapping her hands. "It worked!"
"It didn't work yet," Mallory warns, her grin slipping. "Ford may have his work cut out for him."
"I guess it's a good thing I'm a working man then, huh?" I wink. Walking by the island, I snag another piece of cauliflower. "We will revisit this subject later."
"Hey, Ford!" Mallory calls.
I turn to look at her.
"I told you I saved the best for last," she winks. "Does this mean I'm right?"
"No," I say, heading to the door. "It means you stepped in shit and just happened to come out smelling like a rose."
Ellie
I SLEPT LIKE CRAP IF I even slept at all.
All night, I was buzzing around like I'd drained a pot of coffee. I cleaned the kitchen cabinets, scrubbed the bathroom floors, and found and matched up all the socks strewn around the laundry room. Basically, I did all the chores I put off because I couldn't sit still.
My emotions went in waves.
Phase One: excitement would rustle in the pit of my stomach as a vision of Ford's grin or a whisper of his scent would strike my memory.
Phase Two: I'd be planning our future, complete with a dog and a complete set of matching pots and pans from an online wedding registry.
Phase Three: Images of us with a baby would begin to flicker through my mind and the excitement would sour. Almost instantly, I'd be scrubbing with extra vigor fueled by an anger I've known for a long time.
"Ford?" I say his name with a hesitation, with a fear that I can taste. My chest heaves as I try to stick to the plan I made up last night after I found out. "I need to tell you something."
"What is it?" He brushes my hair off my face as I look up at him. My head is on his lap as we lie in the back of his truck. It's so peaceful, the sun so warm, I want to close my eyes and pretend all of this isn't real.
Tears kiss my eyes. He looks at me with a slight grin, like he's waiting on me to tell him I gave my lunch away again today to a kid that didn't have one or that one of the girls in chemistry was mean to me again. Instead, I rock his entire world.