She stares at me for a moment, unblinking. Like she can’t comprehend what I’m telling her. Until she does. Her eyes pinch closed and she inhales harshly through her nose. Then she opens her eyes, and I see a wall being erected within them. Brick by brick, she shores it up—so she can take the hit. So she can be strong for the kids, until . . . after.
Chelsea nods and forces a wet-eyed smile. Then she scoops up Regan and moves to Riley and Rosaleen, stroking their hair, telling them they’ll be staying with friends of Janet’s for just a little while. How wonderful it’ll be. How much fun they’ll have.
I pray they can’t hear the tremble in her voice.
“Where are you taking them?” I ask Janet.
I read an article to the Judge last month about the crowded group homes, the shortage of adequate foster families in DC. And I envision three cars, each with two of them inside, driving away in different directions. Tearing them apart.
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Then tell me they can stay together, Janet,” I growl. But my voice is so strained, it sounds more like pleading.
She takes pity on me. “There’s a family I’ve worked with before. They’re good people. The real deal. They’ve agreed to take all six of the kids . . . for the weekend.”
I look up sharply. “The weekend? That’s it?”
Janet faces my heated expression head-on. “After that, it’ll depend on what’s available.” Her voice falls back to professionalism. “Everything’s in the packet—Chelsea’s rights, her options. She can request an emergency hearing.”
“God fucking damn it.”
Footfalls clunk down the steps. Raymond appears first at the bottom, wearing a stoic mask, but his red-rimmed eyes and sniffling give him away. He lets the bag in his hand go and rushes over to Chelsea, where he’s immediately enveloped in her arms.
I try to think of something to say. Words that could make this less of a nightmare for them. Before I can say the first word, Rory comes down the stairs, his blue eyes round and shaken. I expect him to join his brothers and sisters in their close-knit cluster. To run to Chelsea. But he doesn’t.
He runs to me.
His warm little body crashes against me, arms wrapping, holding on for dear life. His voice is muffled against my waist, but I hear every word. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll be good. I swear I’ll be good.”
My eyes sting as this poor, lost kid pours out his heart . . . and tears mine to pieces.
I slide to my knees in front of him and pry him back. “This isn’t your fault, Rory. Nothing you did made this happen.”
“But—”
“It’s not your fault, kid.”
He hiccups. “Don’t let . . . them take . . . us.”
My voice is low and irrefutable. “I’ll bring you home. I’ll bring you all home.”
His eyes flicker between mine, searching for honesty. “When?”
And I curse the time of day and the court schedule and a thousand other things that force my answer. “Monday. I’ll bring you home Monday.” I push his hair back and brush his tear-streaked face. “Do you remember what I told you, about a man and his word?”
He nods. “All a man has is his word. That he says what he means and does what he says.”
An aching smile tugs at my lips. “That’s right. I give you my word, Rory. I’ll bring you all home on Monday.”
I glance up at Chelsea and at each of the kids around her—all of them watching, listening. Then I look back to Rory. “But between then and now, you’ve got to hold it together. I need you to be tough, okay? Take care of each other. Don’t fight. Help each other.”
After a slow moment, Rory clenches his jaw. Then he gives a small nod and wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand. He’s ready.
• • •
We load the kids into the van. Chelsea hugs and kisses each one before they climb in, barely able to make herself let go. Rosaleen’s face is red and wet with big, streaming tears. “I want to stay here.”
“I know, kiddo.” I brush her cheek with my knuckles, wiping at her tears as I buckle her in. “It won’t be long. It’ll go really fast,” I lie.
Regan’s lip quivers, though I’m not sure she understands why. “No . . . ”
And I can’t force out any words to answer her. All I can do is kiss her forehead.
We step back as Janet closes the sliding van door. It’s loud—echoing—like a jail cell locking. Then she climbs in the driver’s seat.
Chelsea waves, and she keeps talking, even after the kids can’t hear her anymore. “I love you! Be good, guys. I’ll see you really soon. Everything’s gonna be all right. Don’t worry. I prom—” Her voice falters. “Promise everything will be all right.”