Surviving Broken(87)

As they pulled onto a gravel road, JC was deep in thought. “Family. That’s the difference,” she stated out load with an affirming nod.

Reed chuckled. “Now you’re talking to yourself and answering your own questions?”

Her hand rested on his heavily muscled thigh and she squeezed with a smirk. “Yes, I guess I am.” She giggled self-consciously. “I was just trying to figure out why I’m so comfortable here. Usually I’m nervous when I don’t really know anyone. Today reminded me of my family. It wasn’t a social party or a charity event, just families hanging out and enjoying each other.”

The truck came to a halt at the end of a gravel road. “Today was a business meeting. We’ll come back and visit for a real Texas style BBQ.” A chuckle simmered from his chest as he stretched behind her to grab a borrowed quilt from the back seat. He opened the door and assisted JC from the seat, brushing a kiss on her forehead. “This is one of my favorite spots in all of Texas.”

The sound of a running stream seized her attention and she ambled through tall blades of grass to stand along the edge of running water. The full moon cast a glow over the pastureland, highlighting mountains in the far off distance.

Pings of curiosity played on her heart. “I bet you bring all your girlfriends here?” she probed with a teasing voice and a playful bump to his hip. Dense trees rustled in the breeze and bullfrogs sang along with the soft music still playing on the radio.

“This is where my dad used to bring me and Andrew fishin’. This was his honey hole. He swore it was the best spot on the river to fish. This little bank of the river holds some of the best memories I have of my brother.” Not missing her slight hint of inquiry, he added with a wry smile, “I have brought a few women fishin’ here once or twice.” He clasped her fingers bringing them to his lips. “But I had something a little different in mind for you.”

Her heart played chorus for the bullfrogs. JC wanted to be different for him. She needed to mean more to him than any other woman in his life. The picture in the hallway of Reed and Annie with their arms around each other dug holes of doubt in her dreams, hindering the possibility he could offer all his love. She’d always expected love to be a journey two people took together.

All day long the idea of wanting to fit in with the couples surrounding them nagged at her subconsciously. Life was not a crystal ball. She had no clear vision of their relationship or their future, but knew wholeheartedly she wanted to experience the irresistible, undeniable feel of adoration. For the first time in her life, she craved to be loved by a man. This man.

Her chin quivered and she nervously scratched at the heat prickling her neck. Anxiety built like an elephant sitting on her chest. She inhaled through her nose, hoping to catch a grip on her nerves. Will he love me as much as her? Is he capable?

The sounds of the outdoors and Reed’s laughter brought her back into reality. So infused in her own thoughts, JC hadn’t been listening. She attempted to focus on his story about the moon and why the Native Americans call it a strawberry moon in June in order to keep track of their crops.

Her mind continued to drift. I want him to love me - like I love him.

Her nose burned, tears of joy and confusion threatening to spill.

I love him.

She let out a sniff.

Reed stopped mid-sentence, tilting his head to glimpse at her face in the moonlight. “Are you cryin’?” He gathered her into his arms, pressing his jaw to her temple. He scowled, holding her out at arm’s reach to take a closer look. “What’s wrong, darlin’?”

Unable to speak, she shook her head.

“Oh hell.” He led her by the elbow toward the tailgate of the truck, motioning her to sit.

JC wafted her hand in the air, suggesting he sit while she held her stomach, gasping for air.

He backed against the tailgate, but clutched her hands, turning small circles on her palms. “Did something happen, sweetheart?”

Blood rhythm pounded in her ears and her voice caught in her throat. JC couldn’t answer, but wrinkled her nose between huffs at the term sweetheart. She held up her finger and shook her head. “I need to,”—sniff sniff sniff –“tell you s..something,” she croaked.

Reed’s face fell sober like he’d been kicked by a horse. He bowed his head and gave the ground a swift kick with his heel. “I shouldn’t have brought you here. I was afraid it might be too much for you.”

JC wiped the back of her hand over her cheek, shaking her head. “That’s not it.” She unloaded her lungs, blowing out a huge breath of air. “I like your friends. I had a great day. It reminds me of my family. All the laughter and kids running around.”