He turned over on his stomach, tucking his hands beneath his chin.
Regret built tightly in her chest with his lack of answer.
His face held averted and shadowed as he nodded slowly.
Her chest went numb and cold as she bit her lip. It was stupid for her to hope he hadn’t ever loved someone. Thinking of Reed loving another woman sparked deep feelings of jealousy she’d never experienced and her brows puckered in a tight knit with insecurities. Reed blew out a big breath of air layered with a heavy ruefulness, capturing her full attention.
“I need to tell you something, JC.” His stare drifted to the headboard, his profile hardened avoiding her gaze. “I was married before.”
The air in her lungs turned to ice. “You’re divorced?” she whispered beneath her fingers now covering her lips.
Reed offered no reply and refused to meet her eyes.
His silence knocked the air from her lungs and she gasped in agony.
“Oh, my God. No! No, no. You’re married?” JC’s heart shattered into pieces.
The muscles of her throat try to push down the rising devastation, but her saliva turned to cotton. His face crumpled with torment. Reed opened his mouth, but he couldn’t manage a word.
“How could you?” JC reached for the sheet draped over her hip. Clutching it to her chest, she sank into the fabric, cowering away from him in confusion. Tears streamed down her face as her world crushed in on top of her. “This can’t be happening to me. I thought—”
“I’m not divorced.” His voice teetered between distraught and desperation. He cast his blue eyes upon her, exposing his own tears gathered at the lash. “My wife died three years ago.”
She blinked repeatedly, trying to process his words and the sadness Reed attempted to hide. He’d been so open with her, but now he tucked his arms beneath his chest, sending a clear message of guardedness.
All she wanted to do was comfort him. Holding the sheet to her chest, JC sat up on her knees and crawled up beside him. “I’m sorry, Reed.”
She massaged the tense muscles in his back and neck then laid her cheek upon his shoulder. Compassion filled her heart, but she felt deluded and upset he kept this from her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not something I like to talk about.” His eyes drifted closed, as if searching for the courage to find the right words. Spiky shadows cast across his cheeks. “After you mentioned your rulebook, I was afraid to tell you. I planned to tell you tonight, but as soon I started to say it, you kissed me. And then, damn woman, I’m pretty sure you fried every brain cell in my head when you took your dress off outside.”
God knew JC understood what it meant not to want to reveal intimate details of her past. Her irritation softened and she climbed onto his back, lying on top of him. Tucking her feet between his calves, she played with the hair on his legs with her toes. Peering down at his shoulder and the ink covering his back, she leaned up and straddled his hips. Her nails trailed lightly over the tattoo representing the people he’d loved and lost. “I bet she was wonderful if she was lucky enough to have married you.”
“JC...” he started to say with a husky voice.
“Which flower is she?” Sorrow for his loss filled her heart, but pings of envy tingled in her tummy. Glancing over the different flowers, her eye was instantly drawn to the delicate white rose sitting beneath his shoulder blade. Directly behind his heart. “It’s very beautiful.”
But as the words of comfort left her lips, JC’s fingers followed a trailing vine to a tiny elegant bud dangling beneath the rose.
A chill washed over her. She froze.
“Oh, Reed. I’m so sorry. Were you a…did you have a baby?”
He nodded in slow motion. Reed rolled to his back and rose up on his elbows. They stared at each, eye to eye, as she sat on top of his hips.
“Her name was Annie. We found out she was pregnant two days before the accident. She was driving down to tell her folks.” Pain and torment coated his voice. “I was supposed to go with her, but I got stuck at work with a client. I was going to drive down the next day.”
Solemnly, they gazed at one another while she sat in his lap, caressing his arms. “What happened?”
“There was a bad storm. Severe winds caused a dust storm on the interstate. Seven people died in the pile-up.”
JC tenderly traced his earlobes with long, delicate strokes.
He sat upright, clasping her hands in his. “It’s taken a long time for me to get over what happened. Along the way, I’ve lost my parents, my brother and several friends. I didn’t know if I would ever feel happy again…until I met you.”