I help her to the loo until she’s sat down with her hospital gown bunched in her lap. She always hunches over a little and presses her thighs together so I can’t see. She even insists on throwing loo roll down the toilet so I can’t hear her wee. Like I said, so damn cute.
“Wait outside.” She shoo’s me out.
“Seriously Lilly. I can’t see anything…or hear anything.” I roll my eyes.
“It’s the principle.” She hisses.
I chuckle to myself as I pull the door closed. A minute later and she’s summoning me again. I steady her with my hands around her waist as she washes her hands, trying not to get her cast wet. She hops along beside me back to her bed. She lays back against the pillows, her face white and her breath’s shallow.
“Lilly.” I growl.
“I’m fine.” She waves me off.
“You are not fine.”
“You listen to me.” She points at me. “I am not fucking staying here another night, so I am fine.”
I sigh and tilt my head back to look at the ceiling. Jesus, she’s so bloody frustrating sometimes.
“It’s not that bad here.” I say to her. Okay, that’s a lie. I feel like I’m living in a youth hostel staying here, and I’ve ordered for food to be brought in the entire time she’s been here. That shit they call food is just plain wrong. It is a hospital though, and she needs to be here. “I told you that I would have you moved.” There is a small private hospital barely a mile from my house. It’s very exclusive, but it’s also very nice. That way she would get the care she needs, without trying to escape every two minutes.
“I don’t need a hospital. I have you.” She says smiling sweetly.
I sigh, resigned. “Okay fine, I’ll take you home as planned, but I’m hiring a nurse to come and take care of you.”
“I’m fine.” She huffs.
“I swear to god, Lilly, if you say the word fine one more time, I will leave you here.” I snap. “You have had major surgery. You died, and you’ve broken most of the bones in your body. You are far from fucking fine!”
There’s a beat of silence before she crosses her arms. “Whatever, but I’m not having another bed bath for as long as I live.” She grumbles.
I roll my eyes. “I’m going to pack up your stuff, then I’ll get the sign out forms and take you home.” She nods and a grin creeps onto her face. “Don’t look so smug.”
Her lips stretch into a full blown grin. “I love you.”
As it happens, it takes literally all day before a doctor can get around to see her. Why she wouldn’t just let me have her transferred to a private hospital I don’t know. She wouldn’t get this shit privately. By the time the doctor turns up I’m ready to tear someone a new one. Lilly takes one look at my expression and proceeds to death glare me over his shoulder, so I sit quietly in the corner trying to take in everything he says. I try to remember all the pills she has to take at various times, but shit, that’s a long list. Finally, the doctor signs the papers begrudgingly.
I follow him out into the corridor, with Lilly scowling at me and hissing my name.
“Doctor.” I call him. He turns to me with that perfected bedside smile on his face. “Should she really be going home?” I ask.
He sighs. “No, she shouldn’t. There is still risk of infection to her latest surgery wounds, and she needs more tests, scans and x-rays.” So why the fuck sign her off to leave?! I’m just about to say exactly that when he continues. “That said, healing is as much a mental thing as it is physical. If she is happier at home, then I see no problem with it. She will of course need to come back for the tests and scans. Make sure she takes all her meds and it should be fine. Any problems, then just bring her straight back in.” He offers me that kind smile again and turns to leave.
“Um, thank you.” I say to his retreating back. Don’t get me wrong, I want Lilly home, but I also want her healthy, and I want her to have the best care and treatment to get her that way. Instead she wants to come home with me. I’m useless at this sort of thing. Fuck. What choice do I have? She won’t stay here.
It takes me forever to get her down to the car. Everything about her seems so fragile. I’ve had broken ribs and I know how painful that shit is. She broke pretty much everything. No wonder she looks fragile.
She finally gets into the front seat, a look of pure triumph on her face, despite the pain she must be in. She’s gone a sickening shade of grey. I want to scoop her up and run her back inside the hospital, but instead I close the door and take deep breathes as I make my way to the driver’s side.