I shake my head. “Of course not.” I open my arms to her. She pulls away from her brother and throws herself into them. “Never.” I stroke her hair down her back, and press my lips into her hair. “Never.”
“Are you happy now?” Harry asks as he swipes at a tear on his face.
“What did you do with the body?” I ask, ignoring his hostility.
“There’s a bridge that crosses the river Stour, near where we lived. I drove it there in Shane’s car, and we threw him off the bridge.” He says.
“And do you think your mother is bluffing about the video?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I can’t see how she would have got it, we were careful.” He sighs. “Or at least as careful as a fourteen year old and a sixteen year old can really be.”
“You said she was passed out. Could she have seen you?”
“No way.” Lilly mumbles from my chest. She pulls away. “She was out cold.”
I nod. “Okay.” I think I can work with this.
“You think you can help us?” Harry asks.
Lilly turns to face him. “Not this time, Harry.”
“What are you talking about?” He frowns.
“This time there is no us. This time it’s on me.” He starts shaking his head before she’s even finished.
“No, it’s always us, and it always will be.”
She smiles. “You always tell me not to be a victim, but that’s exactly what you’ve become Harry. I don’t want you to be a victim of my actions.”
“You were fourteen Lilly!” He shouts. “You were raped, beaten, sold. Killing him was not an action, it was justice.” He shouts angrily. I can tell he’s not angry at her, he’s angry at what happened to her. He’s angry that she has to be in this position, which she has had to endure this for so long.
“I know, but I did what I did, and I won’t let you keep paying the price.”
“Fuck that.” He says.
“So stubborn.” She mumbles. Whether she likes it or not, he isn’t going anywhere. He lives to protect her, I can see it every time he looks at her, as if he would kill and die for her without a second thought. I always thought Harry was easy going, but I see now that even that is for her. Lilly hates sympathy, and she likes to put a face on everything. I think back on every time I’ve seen them together. He wears a mask for her. He goes along with her badass façade for her sake, and he does it because he loves her.
Harry leaves not long after our joyful conversation. I let him out and go back upstairs. Lilly’s sat on the sofa, cradling a cup of coffee. I managed to pry the vodka away from her.
“Lilly.” I sit next to her. She glances up, and manages a small smile.
“Hey.” She rasps.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side. She snuggles into me. “You okay, sugar?”
She doesn’t answer for a long time. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Well, it’s not exactly every day conversation.”
“I know. It’s just… a lot. And then there’s Harry.” She explains.
I grasp her chin, tilting her head up toward me. “It’s. Fine. You and Harry protect each other, because you’ve only had each other. I would be the same with my sister.”
“But now I have you.” She whispers. “And for the first time in my life, my brother isn’t enough anymore. Being safe isn’t enough. I want to live Theo, not survive. I want to feel, not just protect myself.” She closes her eyes. “I want you.”
I stroke my fingers along her jaw. “You have me.”
She offers me a sad smile. “But for how long?”
That night, I lay awake for hours. Lilly sleeps soundly, exhaustion taking over. I hold her to me as though she may disappear at any given moment, and truth be told, she might. If I can’t fix this, then she will have to leave. I meant what I said though. As hard as it will be to give up my life, it would be harder to give up her.
I just need something that can pin Shaun’s murder on Jane. All she really has is a video of them dumping a body. It wouldn’t be difficult to say that they were just teenagers, following the instructions of their abusive and aggressive mother. I’ve already looked into their records. There are several records of unexplained injuries from the school they both attended, as well as long absences, and even medical records. Harry has several records of broken bones. There are even social services reports, but it would seem that Jane is very good at turning on the charm when she needs to. I’ve witnessed first-hand how she can play the regretful mother, just desperate for forgiveness from her daughter. She’s a masterful liar.