Margriet held the cold cloth against her face, trying to soothe the bruise there from Finn's blow, but nothing would be able to ease the pain she would deliver to her father now. He allowed Lady Agnes to pass and then came to sit at her side.
"Father," she whispered, "I beg your forgiveness for shaming you so."
He reached out and touched her other cheek, pushing her hair back out of her eyes, kind even in the face of her shame.
"It is true then, Margriet? You laid with him as he said?" His voice shook, too, as he asked and she felt the hot burning tears pour from her eyes.
She was tempted to turn away in that moment, but she owed him more than that. "It did not happen as he said, but, yes, Father, I gave my virtue to him." The despair on his face and the way he ran his hand through his hair tore her heart open in her chest. "I thought myself in love, Father. A sad excuse, but my only one. He promised me marriage, promised me his name and I believed him."
"But you were in a convent. How did he take your virtue if you were in a convent?"
She tried to explain but it was too hard to form the words and speak them. Her throat was tight and her chest heavy as she attempted to make him understand, but none of that mattered now, for she had failed him and destroyed his honor by her mistake. Finally, she could speak and she told him how she met him.
"I was out with some of the sisters gathering herbs in the forest near the convent and saw him riding past. I'd lived with the holy sisters for ten years and had never really met or talked to any man younger than Iain, our shepherd. I just wanted to talk to him and find out about the world outside the convent, Father. Truly."
She took his hand in hers and kissed it. "I failed you, Father. I surrendered the only thing I had of value and have ruined you with my mistake."
His eyes filled with tears, too, and then he took her in his arms and held her. "Ah, my girl, we can find a way out of this."
She cried harder at his words, for they meant more to her than anything at this moment. But she feared he would not be as forgiving when he discovered the rest. For a daughter ruined like she was could find haven in a convent or even a marriage to someone who would accept her as damaged goods, but the bairn she carried changed all of it, in more ways than she could even think of right now.
And she had yet to tell him. He released her and started to stand when she held him fast. "I fear this is not something easily put aside, Father." She let him go, but took his hand and placed it on the swelling of her belly. She knew when he understood, for he wore the same expression of horror and betrayal that Rurik had when he discovered the truth.
But that look was nothing compared to the utter disappointment in his gaze when it finally met hers. He stared at her as though she were the worst sort of criminal, guilty of any number of crimes. For so many years, all she longed for was her father's love and now she had forfeited that by her actions.
"Father, I am … "
He pulled away from her before she could finish and walked out of the alcove, opening the curtain and exposing her to the curious stares of those in Lord Erengisl's chambers.
"The girl says she carries your child, Lord Thorfinn. What say you to that?"
Chapter Twenty
The quiet that had reigned in his father's chambers now broke as Thorfinn chuckled and Rurik was seized with the urge to go after him again. And he would have, had not the guards taken up their positions when Gunnar returned.
The man's face was like stone, hard and gray, as he approached his brother with the accusation. However, the expression that no one seemed to notice but him was Margriet's. For as Gunnar called her "girl" and not daughter, she crumbled.
He turned away now, trying to figure out Thorfinn's motives in ruining Gunnar and his daughter, and could think of none. He did not doubt that the journey to visit his father's kin was deliberate and meant to offer him the chance to "find" her. And remembering how deceitful he was as a child, turning from vicious to fair when in his father's view, he also did not doubt that he had seduced her with soft words and promises.
As she'd told him, or tried to tell him, and he would not listen.
Thorfinn shrugged in response. "It could be mine or it could be any man she swived before or after me, Gunnar."
Everyone was so intent on his words, they never noticed Margriet leave the alcove. Rurik watched now as she staggered over to Thorfinn. "That is a lie. Lord Erengisl … Father … I was pure … untouched before I laid with Thorfinn."
"Pure, Margriet? Untouched? Do you mean like a nun would be? The kind of nun you pretended to be on your journey home to cover your secret as long as you could?"
Somehow, Thorfinn managed to take a grain of truth in everything he described and twist it into something else completely. Rurik was done with this now, and called out. "Father, let me explain."
When the guards did not release him fast enough, he broke their hold and tossed them aside. Instead of heading for his brother, he walked to his father's side and spoke directly to him.
"She thought only to protect herself and her young maid on the journey. The lady was among strangers and sought the shelter a religious habit would give them until she felt safe. Even the reverend mother from her convent sanctioned her action."
"The reverend mother knew your reasons for pretending?" Erengisl asked her.
Margriet wavered in her answer. "She knew I needed protection, my lord."
Rurik knew Thorfinn would grab on to any prevarication and use it. He closed his eyes and prayed she would admit the truth so Thorfinn could not make use of it against her.
"But she did not know I was carrying a child."
"And you claim the child is Thorfinn's?" Erengisl asked her quietly.
Rurik turned and watched as she spoke the words. "Aye, my lord. He fathered the child I bear."
As though all her strength left her, she stumbled then. Gunnar reached out to steady her, but then drew away and she was left to her own means then. He could not stand to watch her struggle any longer and since Gunnar had abandoned her, Rurik went to her side, holding her up with his arm around her waist.
"You deny the child is yours, Thorfinn?" their father asked. Now that he held on to Margriet, the sad excuse for a man felt safe enough to leave his chair.
"It could be, Father. It could be any man who passed through that area and who had a few coins to spare."
He held her fast, whether to keep himself or her from attacking his brother, he knew not, but either way, Thorfinn was safe for the moment.
"I can see that you do not believe me, but ask my brother. Ask him if he knew she was breeding. Ask him if they did not act like two dogs in heat during their journey, he sniffing at her while she opened her legs for him. For all I know, it could be his bastard she breeds in her belly and not mine at all."
Rurik said nothing, but Thorfinn pressed on this issue.
"Did you lay with her? Could it be yours?"
Oh, he was good at this, Rurik thought, but he could not lie in this regard. "Nay, I did not."
He must have spent many hours weaving the lies so he was ready when the opportunity arose. Margriet sagged against Rurik and he could tell she was weakening.
"You have woven quite a tale, Thorfinn. A master weaver to be sure," he said. "You make claims you cannot prove to ruin her. But why? Why play this hand at all?" Rurik thought to force him to the truth, but he felt the trap spring as he asked the question.
"To the contrary, Brother, I would take her to wife and clean the stain from her honor if she would have me. I know how much a trusted friend Gunnar is to our father and would marry her if he wished me to do so."
He felt and heard Margriet's gasp at Thorfinn's words. He was certain, from even the little she had told him, that she'd loved the man he pretended to be when he seduced her. Now though, seeing the true man behind the mask, she would never consent.
"You seem so convinced that I lie about her behavior, making your own accusations against me. Mayhap you would like the chance to save her from dishonor and marry her yourself, even though you have said it is not your child?"
All it took was some inattention on his part, a missed clue, and the quicksand opened at his feet. Though Rurik now saw the motivations behind the manipulations, he'd stepped right into the trap. This was about ruining him as much as ruining Margriet and her father.