“Leese,” he warned.
She brought her other hand into play, perfecting her actions as she stroked his balls, squeezing just hard enough to make him come unglued. His hips bucked and—holy fucking hell—she didn’t slow, didn’t pause, just drank in everything he had to give. When the last of his orgasm pulsed through him, she swirled her tongue over his glistening head and then licked his shaft clean.
He sank down to his knees in front of her, gazing into her lust-laden eyes.
“You own me,” he whispered as he laid her gently on her back and loved her in the same eager way she’d loved him. Bringing her pleasure over and over again, tasting her desire, feeling it in the intensity of her release, until they were both too spent to move. And there beneath the moonlight, with the sounds of the sea surrounding them and the scents of their lovemaking hovering in the air, Cole felt his heart become hers. It wasn’t fast and hard or shocking and scary. It was an effortless filling of his soul, a lifting of his emotions, and a complete and utter surrender.
Chapter Sixteen
SATURDAY BROUGHT BRIGHT skies and a shift in the energy between Cole and Leesa. She’d felt things changing between them over the past week, but out on the water all alone, without the world breathing down her back or the threat of a stranger saying something that would dredge up her past, she was finally able to take a step back and see their relationship more clearly. Feel it more deeply. She was falling in love with him, and he was falling in love with her. She’d never fallen in love with Chris, and she had no measure of love beyond that which she felt for her father and closest friends.
This was stronger. Bolder. More present in every movement, every glance, every thought. And it thrilled her and scared the daylights out of her at once.
They were anchored far from the marina, having sailed for much of the morning. They’d just finished lunch and were lying on the deck in their bathing suits. The sun beat down on Cole’s bare chest, bringing his sculpted physique to a delicious bronze color. He propped himself up on one elbow, casting a shadow over her face, and she opened her eyes and smiled at him.
“Hey there,” she said as he came in for a kiss. God, how she loved his kisses. Each and every one was so much more than a peck or a hello or goodbye. Every kiss, even the tender ones, was filled with emotions that were new and exciting, fulfilling and tantalizing. She felt restraint in his kiss the same way she felt it in her own body, because they both knew that when they kissed, it was an easy tumble into an entanglement of their naked bodies. Being intimate with Cole was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. He filled all the places she’d never known were lonely. Not just her heart, but her mind and certainly her soul. This scared her, because he was willing to risk so much for her. He was at the pinnacle of his career in a small town, where everyone loved him, and she worried that he didn’t realize how an accusation could change a person’s life. How being associated with her could change his. She hadn’t realized how a sentence, a handful of words, could change a person’s life either, until she’d gone through it herself.
“Your lips are smiling, but your eyes speak of trouble, my beautiful girlfriend. Care to share your thoughts?”
“How can you be so in tune to me every minute of the day?” She lifted onto her elbow, matching his position and tracing her fingers over the muscle in his arm.
He placed his hand on her hip and clutched her heated skin. His hand was big and strong, and that simple touch made her want to forget her worries, wrap her arms around his neck, and kiss him until the world disappeared again.
“Leese? Talk to me, angel.”
She blinked away the fantasy—for now—and knew she owed him the truth, even though she felt like she’d said it a hundred times already. Somehow that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t just his career on the line. It was his heart—and hers.
“I’ve been thinking about how it feels to be out here with you. It’s magical. Like nothing else exists.”
He tightened his grip on her hip. “And that causes you to look worried?” He moved closer, bringing their thighs together and making it difficult for her to think.
“Yes,” she managed, feeling him getting hard against her. She should just shut up, because telling him the truth would ruin the moment, and she was loving the moment.
“I didn’t know magical was bad. Want me to whip up a squall, or maybe a tidal wave, so you don’t have to enjoy the serenity of the sunshine and the sea on a Saturday afternoon, alone with a guy who adores you?”
She dropped onto her back and sighed. “I feel like you’re putting your life on hold for me. You should be working, or—”
“Lying with the woman who made me realize that I was biding my time until I met her?” He brushed her hair from her shoulder and pressed his lips to the spot he’d bared. “Leese, I want to be here. I told you I work a lot of hours, and you’ve seen that that’s true, but this…being with you, this is what I want. You’re what’s been missing in my life. Is it wrong to want to enjoy us on a Saturday instead of working?”
“Cole.” She didn’t even really know why she was pushing him away, but she couldn’t stop herself.
“Leesa?”
“You shouldn’t put the other parts of your life on hold for me.” She shifted her eyes away, and he drew her chin toward him, forcing her to look at him.
“I’m not putting anything on hold. I’m just starting to live my life. There’s a difference.” His tone was serious, and his eyes pinned her in place, making her heart race.
“Don’t you see, Cole? Out here I’m fine. There’s no one here to worry about, just you and me.”
“Again, I’m not seeing the issue.” He sat up and rested his forearms on his knees.
She sat up beside him, feeling her heart swell and a fissure form. “The issue is that when we’re alone, everything is amazing, but back there.” She pointed toward the harbor. “Back there, my past hovers over every step I take.”
He folded her into his arms, his eyes dark and serious again. “I told you I can handle that. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“I believe you. That’s the problem.” She drew in a deep breath. “I can’t let you put your career at risk when I’m carrying so much baggage.” She pulled from his arms so she could see his face more clearly, and she pressed her hands to his cheeks. “I’m falling in love with you, and you don’t put someone you care about in harm’s way.”
“Do you know what it does to me to hear you say that? To know you’re falling as deeply for me as I am for you?” He smiled, and it made her worries deepen.
“I know, but I can’t…”
“What are you saying? You want to break up with me because of what might happen?”
She heard hurt in his voice. “No. I don’t want to break up with you at all. But I think I need to go back to Towson and try to, I don’t know, find some closure. I can’t get Andy out of my head, and if he needs help and doesn’t get it, I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to him.”
Cole’s arms circled her again. “Angel, you had me so worried. I’ll go with you.”
She shook her head. “I thought about this all morning as every breath we took brought us closer together. God, Cole. Another week and I’d be ready to marry you.”
“Again, not seeing an issue here. I’d marry you tomorrow—and I don’t give a rat’s ass if we’ve only known each other for a few days.” He gazed into her eyes and she felt her resolve slipping away. “Leesa, don’t try to tear us apart because of some sense of responsibility. We can figure this out together.”
“I’m not tearing us apart. Or at least I don’t mean to. But I don’t even know if I should, or can, pick up my life and move here.”
He pressed his lips to hers, and she soaked in his strength. In the moment, as their lives seemed to fall into sync so quickly, she knew without a shadow of a doubt what she had to do.
“I have to go back, Cole. I need closure, a resolution beyond the charges being dropped.”
“What more do you hope to accomplish? I’m not sure I understand what you’re seeking. Do you even know what you’re looking for?” He stood and paced, looking devastatingly handsome and hurt, and that made her ache more than she already was at the prospect of leaving.
“To be honest, no. I don’t know what will give me the closure I need. But I know I can’t live like this. Do you know that every time I hear you say my name I long to become Leesa? A waitress without a past?”
“Angel.” He gathered her close again.
She couldn’t stop the tears from slipping down her cheeks. “I miss me, Cole. I miss hearing my name, and I miss teaching. I miss my students. I miss the way they looked up to me, knowing that I was helping them. I miss the girls from the Girl Power group. I miss my life.”
She was sure on some level that probably felt like a dismissal of their feelings, but she couldn’t stop the truth from pouring out. “I miss the freedom of walking around in public without fearing that someone will say, ‘Aren’t you that teacher who…?’” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.