Surrender My Love(23)

His kind compliment made her heart squeeze. “Thank you. Like you said, every profession…” She watched him watching her and finally found the courage to ask what she really wanted to know. “Ace, does your prosthesis hurt you?”

His smile faded to a tight-lipped line. “No, ma’am. It does not.”

The formality of his words spoke louder than the words themselves. “I’m sorry. I noticed that sometimes you look a little uncomfortable, and I knew a girl once who had phantom limb pain and she used mirror therapy. I just thought…” I’d make an ass of myself.

Ace leaned forward, his jaw tight, his eyes soft. Leesa held her breath, feeling that she’d crossed a line from which there might be no retreat.

“You have a very tender heart, Annalise. May I call you Annalise?”

“Yes,” she managed with her heart thundering against her ribs. She didn’t know if she was going to be fired or told to butt out, but she probably deserved both for sticking her nose into his business.

“You went through a traumatic time and you didn’t come out unscathed. Agreed?”

Unable to find her voice, she nodded.

“I’d bet that not a day goes by when you wish you could escape the hurt that accusation caused you.” He held her gaze, and she couldn’t turn away.

Another silent nod, and he dropped his eyes for a beat. He lifted those warm, intelligent eyes again, and his gaze turned serious.

“Sometimes it hurts to lose things, to leave them behind. We can’t really forget them, so they linger. A twinge here, a sharp reminder there. The things we gain from the loss puts perspective on that pain. We can try to bury the pain, mask it, ignore it.” He shrugged, and an easy smile lifted his lips, flashing a hint of Cole, which made her stomach tighten for a whole different reason. “You might not understand this yet, but sometimes that pain is necessary in order to move forward. There are times when those painful reminders drive us to be stronger.”

She knew there was a message in his words that was bigger than phantom limb pain, but she was still holding her breath, waiting for him to fire her, and she couldn’t process any hidden meanings. It wasn’t until he patted her hand and said, “We can run from our past, but we can’t really move forward until we accept it. Pain and all,” that she realized he was talking about her. And his wisdom, the warmth of his gaze, the solid strength of his hand, made her long for her father.

He rose to his feet. “I appreciate your concern.”

Cole walked through the kitchen doors, his eyes moving quickly between the two of them, and her heart skipped a beat.

“Did I interrupt something?” Cole asked. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder. “Shannon said I’d find you in here.”

“I’m going to assume you mean Leesa and not me.” Ace patted Cole’s back on his way out the door. He hesitated and looked at Leesa again. “Annalise. Thank you for the chat. I’ll see you tomorrow for your shift?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

He nodded and disappeared out the doors, which swung closed behind him. Cole leaned in for a kiss. “Hi. Everything okay?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Did you get my texts?”

She shook her head to clear her mind. “I haven’t had a chance to check my phone.”

“No wonder you didn’t answer.” He reached for her hand and she took it absentmindedly. “Ready for your first guitar lesson?”

“My first…?” Her mind was still stuck on what his father had said. We can run from our past, but we can’t really move forward until we accept it. Pain and all.

She wondered if she’d ever get to the point of not feeling like she had to look over her shoulder. If she could ever use her given name again in public. She’d picked up on the way Ace had used her new name in front of Cole, and it magnified just how much of herself she’d left behind. She had the distinct feeling that he’d been trying to tell her that she had no reason to hide who she was, but she sure didn’t feel that way.

She followed Cole out the door, realizing that she wanted the freedom to use her given name more than she cared to admit. Her father had never called her Leesa. She was always Annalise.

Elegant and strong, like a river. That’s my Annalise. That’s my girl, he’d said.

She’d thought she could leave it all behind and start over, but as Leesa rather than Annalise, she felt like a felon running from something she’d done. A fake, borrowing someone else’s career, someone else’s name—and wishing she had someone else’s past.





Chapter Twelve


LEESA WAS QUIET on the drive to Rough Riders, and Cole took that time to try to settle his own mind, which was still wrestling with Elsie Hood, her overbearing father, and her meek mother. He hoped her parents wouldn’t abandon the tests or the treatment. At her age, treatment would certainly lead to proper healing, but if her parents insisted that she continue to train, Elsie faced a painful future—he knew that even before seeing the test results.

Knowing there wasn’t much he could do without coming across too aggressively, he tried to push those thoughts away and parked amid a sea of cars. Rough Riders was a local hangout for teenagers. Even when they weren’t taking the boats out, they were hanging out around the river. The river had a different vibe than the harbor. It was cooler, because of the shade from the trees that lined both sides, and Sammy was so effervescent that people had always flocked to him. He didn’t let customers take boats out after sunset, but Cole had spoken to him earlier in the day and had made arrangements for his and Leesa’s date, and Shannon had taken care of the rest of his surprise.

He opened Leesa’s door and gathered her in his arms, kissing her softly. “You okay tonight? I hope it was okay that I showed up and stole you away.”

“I’m glad you did.” Her words were honest, but there was a shadow in her eyes that worried him.

“Do you want to talk before we go down to the boat?”

Her eyes widened. “We’re going in a boat? I thought you were teaching me to play the guitar.”

“I am, but you’ve never been on the river, so I thought we’d take the boat down a ways, have a picnic, play a little guitar…” He kissed her again, and her lips curved up in a sweet smile.

“Cole, you took all my hopes and wrapped them into one evening?”

He kissed her again, and the darkness in her eyes slipped away. “Surely not all your hopes, but I love to see you smile.”

They headed down a path toward the boathouse. Canoes and kayaks were lined up at the water’s edge, and rowboats were tied to the dock. Teens and twentysomethings were sitting on beach blankets and hanging around by the boathouse. A young couple sat on the dock with their toes dangling in the water.

Inside the boathouse Sam was hanging up life jackets and talking with a group of wet and smiling teens who looked like they’d just come in from a boat ride. He glanced at Cole and Leesa.

“Hey, bro,” Sam said. “Leesa, good to see you again. Your boat’s all set. Grab some life preservers and you can take off.”

“Thanks, Sammy.” Cole helped Leesa put on her life preserver.

“This must look attractive,” she said softly.

“You could wear a Hefty bag and you’d look hot.” He winked as he put on his own life preserver. “If it’s any consolation, I hate wearing them, too, but Sam insists.”

“I don’t mind. I know how to swim, though, so I’m not too worried about falling in, unless you’re taking me over rapids.” Her eyes widened. “Oh my God, you’re not, are you?”

“It’s too dangerous for that in the evening, but if you’re into it, we can go some other time.” He helped her into the boat, untied it from the dock, then climbed in himself and paddled them out into the river.

“Into it? Um…” Her eyes were as wide as hard-boiled eggs, which made him laugh. She scanned the riverbank as she asked, “Is there a place downriver to have a picnic?”

Cole didn’t want to spoil the surprise he’d set up and realized he shouldn’t have said anything. “You’ll see.” He paddled away from Rough Riders, the lights of the boathouse fading into the distance as the river wound like a snake past the wooded banks. The smell of wet earth and evening rolled in, and a peaceful feeling settled over Cole, shifting his work-related worries aside and allowing him to enjoy the beauty of their surroundings and the luxury of Leesa’s company.

“This is just what I needed tonight, thank you,” she said, turning sideways on her seat and pulling her knees up to her chest. She rested her cheek on her knees and watched him row.

“Me too.”

“Did you have a rough day with patients?” she asked.

“Not rough. Typical.” He didn’t want to burden her with the particulars.

“You saw that gymnast today, right? How did that go? Can you help her?” She lifted her head, and a serious look came over her.

He liked that she’d remembered. “I hope so. I sent her for X-rays and a bone scan. I’ll know more after we get those results back.” A lantern hanging from a tree appeared in the distance, the spot where Shannon had set up the picnic for them, and he rowed toward the shore. “I don’t want to bore you with my work.”