Leesa’s stomach tightened with his admission, but if she was honest with herself, she still felt protective of Chris in certain ways, too. Even though she’d been devastated when he’d chosen work over her, once the ache and disappointment had subsided, she’d understood why he’d done it.
“We dated for about two years, and I guess you could say she was my first love. Or at least that’s what I thought at the time. But now I’m sure it wasn’t love, because in the two years I dated her, I never thought about her even one-tenth as much as I’ve thought of you over the past two days.”
He paused, and Leesa was sure he could see the surprise and delight she felt written all over her face.
His fingers brushed over her shoulder. “I’m not trying to say I’m in love with you. There’s such a big difference in what I do feel, it made me realize that I wasn’t in love with her.”
“I’m sorry if I look surprised. I’m not, really, because I’m in the same boat.”
He arched a brow and his smile grew as he tapped on the boat.
“Literally, I guess.” She laughed. “I thought I was in love with Chris, too, but I now know I wasn’t. I was attracted to him, comfortable with him, and maybe after two years I was ready to settle for him, too. I’m not sure about that.” She thought for a second, and her father’s words came back to her again. “I guess in a way I could say that if anything good came out of the mess I went through, it was that I got to see that side of him before we ended up married with children and something he didn’t want to handle came up. It would be much harder to part with children involved. But I don’t think anyone really knows what they can and can’t handle until they’ve had to face it.”
“Is that how you rationalize what he did?” His eyes grew serious again as he ran his finger up the length of her arm, sending shivers right through her. “Because I disagree. I think we know what we can handle, and we make choices based on those things. I knew I wasn’t the type of guy who could share a woman. I’ve never been that person.” He raised his brows. “Sammy? He’d rather share than be tied down any day of the week, and I get that. There are lots of guys who feel that way.”
He gazed out over the water for a minute and said, “You asked if there was more to what’s happened between me and Kenna, and there is. I told you the truth about why we broke up. She wanted an open relationship, and I didn’t. It was what I found out afterward, the thing that, as far as I know, has been kept secret for all these years, that left the bitter taste in my mouth.”
Leesa couldn’t imagine what it might be, since he’d already told her that Kenna hadn’t cheated when they were dating.
“You probably know by now how important family is to me,” he said.
“Yes, you all seem very close.” She thought of the way they teased one another and how Shannon built up Tempe’s organizational skills. She loved seeing that type of support between siblings.
He smiled. “We are, but I never realized how important family loyalty was to me outside of my own circle until after Kenna and I broke up.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.” She was trying to concentrate on what he was saying, but he was absentmindedly brushing feathery touches across her shoulder, and her entire body was aware of each and every stroke of his fingertips.
“Mackenna and I broke up the summer before I started medical school, and that summer she went to stay with her sister, Beth, in Virginia. Beth and I went to school together. Mackenna’s younger, Nate’s age. I met her through my friendship with Beth. Anyway, a month after arriving in Virginia, Beth found out that Mackenna was sleeping with her fiancé.”
Holy crap. “Oh, that poor girl. Beth must have been devastated. Her own sister’s fiancé? I don’t want to disparage your ex, but…that takes a certain type of person.”
“Yes. I feel like I dodged a bullet, so if I seem harsh toward her, please understand that it’s not just because we once dated. Beth confided in me about what happened, but as far as I know, she never told anyone else. She didn’t want to become the talk of Peaceful Harbor, so I never told my family, either. They really don’t know why we broke up, and they don’t know about what happened afterward. I told them that it just didn’t work out, and they respected that. Although they’re curious about the specifics.”
“But if that’s the case, then I don’t understand why she’s trying so hard to get you back,” she said honestly. “I would never try to get back together with a man who knew that I’d done something like that.”
His smile returned. “Like I said, Mackenna wants what she can’t have. I’m sure that was the appeal of her sister’s fiancé. And honestly, I’m not sure if Mackenna knows that I’m aware of what happened in Virginia. We haven’t spoken since we broke up. And now when I see her, the frustration I feel is no longer for myself. It’s not the fact that she threw me away to sleep with other men. My ego isn’t that big.” A soft laugh escaped his lips. “It’s because of what she did to Beth. If family means that little to her, then she’s not the right woman for me by a long stretch. I would give my life for my family, and I know they’d do the same for me.”
His sense of loyalty spoke directly to her heart. She’d never longed for her mother, partially because she and her father had been so close, and so happy, that she hadn’t felt like she was missing out on anything. And also because her mother had shown the unkindest hand of all. She’d walked away from her family and never looked back.
Leesa gazed into Cole’s soulful eyes, feeling like she’d found someone who understood who she was at her core, with the same beliefs, the same ethics and morals, as she’d learned from her father. Someone who could live anywhere on earth but chose to build a life around the small town where he’d grown up and still made time for his family. A man who understood himself as well as she understood herself, and taught her that she’d been missing something after all. She simply hadn’t known it until she met him.
***
COLE’S FINGERS DRIFTED over Leesa’s warm skin. Goose bumps rose to meet his touch. Between the gentle rocking of the boat and the moonlight reflecting in her eyes, Cole felt himself moving closer to her. His body was drawn to her, so close their lips nearly touched.
“I would have done anything for my father,” she whispered.
He brushed her hair from her shoulder, holding her gaze. “I could tell that about you when you first told me about him.”
“In the days after I lost him, everything felt foreign and different. I live in the house I grew up in, and even that felt different.”
“I can only imagine.” He tucked her hair behind her ear, caressing her soft cheek with the back of his hand and feeling his emotions grow with every word she said.
“It was strange, trying to find my way without his silent strength behind me. I really miss him.” She dropped her gaze.
“I can hear it in your voice. I’m so sorry.” He pressed his lips to hers.
“I think that’s one reason it’s so hard for me to just pick up and move here. I feel like I’d be leaving part of him behind. But in so many ways it makes sense to start over, like Tegan wants me to.”
“Like I want you to.” Cole hadn’t planned on admitting what was whirling around in his mind, but once the words were out, the truth of them thickened between them.
“You…?” She lifted her eyes to his, and he couldn’t tell if she was surprised or hopeful.
“I do.” He couldn’t resist her a second longer. “Leesa, if there’s anything else you want to know about me, I’ll share the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m no saint, no matter how much my siblings tease me about it. There’s always bad with the good, but right this moment, I want—I need—to be closer to you.”
He slid his hand to the nape of her neck and brushed his thumb over her heated skin. “Tell me if you want me to back off. I know you’ve been through a lot, and I don’t want to rush you.”
“I was determined to keep my distance from any man, despite Tegan’s encouragement to get back into the dating pool.” She touched his cheek and smiled, and that simple touch made his pulse kick up. She inched closer and her dress crept up, exposing her inner thighs and making him even more aroused. “And then I met you, and for two days I’ve tried to fight the attraction that I felt from our very first glance. But it’s too strong. You waylay all my fears, and when we’re together—”
“Everything else disappears,” he answered for her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and their mouths came together hard and fast in a kiss filled with the urgency of new lovers, giving him the approval he needed to set his desires free. He tangled one hand in her silky hair, angling her head and opening her mouth wider for him to take—and holy hell did he take. He kissed her with reckless abandon, tasting every dip and curve of her mouth, sucking on her lower lip, then crashing their lips together again in a deep, passionate kiss. Her hands slid into his hair, down his neck, and over his back, sending shocks of heat straight to his groin. His free hand blazed south, traveling over her bare leg, beneath her dress, to the curve of her hip. Lord, she felt good, soft and luscious and so damn tempting that he groaned with need as he lowered her to her back. She went with him willingly, pulling him down on top of her and arching up to meet his eager arousal.