Superior Saturday(57)

‘Let’s assume she’s alive,’ Arthur interrupted. Then he hesitated before adding, ‘I want to rescue her – but how would we get to these cages and not attract the attention of the Internal Auditors? There’s going to be a battle going on – maybe two battles . . .’

‘That will help us,’ said the Will. ‘But as to how we get there, it’s rather simple. We disguise ourselves as a Bathroom Attendant.’

‘Ourselves?’ asked Arthur. ‘As a single Bathroom Attendant?’

‘Yes,’ croaked the raven happily. ‘You’re almost tall enough to be a short Bathroom Attendant, and I can make myself into the mask.’

‘But why would a Bathroom Attendant go up there in the first place?’

Arthur shuddered as he remembered the gold-masked faces of the Bathroom Attendants who had washed him between the ears, temporarily removing his memory.

‘Because they’re Internal Auditors,’ explained the Will. ‘I mean, all Bathroom Attendants are Internal Auditors, though not all Internal Auditors are Bathroom Attendants.’

‘You mean they work for Saturday? She’s the one who wants all the Piper’s children’s memories erased?’

‘Yes, yes,’ said the Will. ‘It’s all got to do with trying to delay the appearance of the Rightful Heir. Or, if you get knocked off, another one, and so on.’

‘So we disguise ourselves as a Bathroom Attendant, get to the Internal Auditors’ offices, and rescue Suzy from the hanging cage. But how does that fit in with getting the Key from Saturday? Or anything else, for that matter?’

‘Well, there shouldn’t be any Internal Auditors there,’ said the Will. ‘They’re Saturday’s best troops, so they’ll be up top, ready to fight their way into the Incomparable Gardens. Like I said, it’s the east side, so it’ll be the quiet side. We rescue your friend, then we watch the Piper’s troops fight Saturday’s troops and, at the right moment, you open an elevator shaft to the Citadel and bring your troops through.’

‘I don’t know how to open an elevator shaft,’ said Arthur.

‘It’s easy – or at least it will be then, because all of Saturday’s sorcerers that are stopping the elevators will be distracted. Or if they’re not, you use the Fifth Key to take us out, we regroup, and then come back the same way. How does that sound?’

‘Dodgy,’ Arthur said. ‘But the disguise part might work. If I can just rescue Suzy, and all three of us can get out, that’s enough for now. I have to go back to Earth too. There’s something important I need to—’

‘Forget Earth!’ insisted the raven. ‘Earth will be all right. It’s the House we have to worry about.’

‘Isn’t that the same thing?’ asked Arthur. ‘I mean if the House goes, everything goes.’

‘Nope,’ said the raven. ‘Who told you that?’

‘But . . . everyone . . .’ stuttered Arthur. ‘The Architect made the House and the Secondary Realms . . .’

‘That’s Denizens for you,’ said the raven. ‘She made most of the House after she made the Universe. I bet Saturday made up that ‘Secondary Realms’ stuff, the sly minx. The Architect made the House to observe and record what was happening out in the Universe because it was so interesting. Not the other way around.’

‘Most of the House,’ said Arthur intently. ‘You said “most of the House.” ’

‘Yes, well, the Incomparable Gardens were first out of the Void.’

‘So they are the epicentre of the Universe? What happens if the Incomparable Gardens are destroyed?’

‘Everything goes, end of creation, the jig’s up.’

‘So basically what everyone has been saying is true,’ said Arthur. ‘It just means that until the last bit – the first bit – of the House is destroyed then the rest of the Universe will survive.’

‘I suppose so,’ said the raven. ‘If you want to get technical. Is that a door?’

It flew ahead, up through the middle of the spiral stair.

Arthur followed more slowly, deep in thought.





NINETEEN





‘WAIT! DON’T OPEN IT!’ Arthur said, but it was too late. The raven had jumped on the handle and ridden it down, and then pushed the door open with its beak. On hearing Arthur’s call, it turned around and looked back at him, with the door left ajar.

‘Yes?’

Arthur reached the doorway and carefully looked through, out on to a paved square at the foot of the tower. There were two Sorcerous Supernumeraries only three or four feet away, fortunately standing with their backs to the door. Beyond them, the square was packed with a crowd of Denizens. There had to be at least two thousand of them, including hundreds of Sorcerous Supernumeraries and many more full sorcerers of varying ranks, all with their umbrellas folded despite the rain.