‘This is not a good idea, Arthur,’ said Dame Primus. ‘To lessen my power by half is foolish in the extreme. And if you think this will allow you to return to your Secondary Realm, then you have failed to consider your own transformation, and the effect you will have—’
‘I’m not going back home,’ Arthur interrupted coldly. ‘At least not yet. Like I said, we need to deal with Superior Saturday. That means freeing Part Six of the Will to start with, so please tell me – do you know where it is? I know you can sense the other parts of yourself.’
Dame Primus straightened up.
‘Part Six of myself is definitely somewhere within the Upper House. I do not know where exactly, and I have no means of finding out. The Upper House has been closed to us by means of sorcery. No elevators go there now, there are no telephone connections, and the Front Door remains firmly shut. So once again, even if it was in our best interests for you to go there, it is not possible, and you would do better to help me and not make foolish – that is to say, naive – suggestions about me dividing myself.’
‘There’s no way there at all?’ asked Arthur. ‘What about the Improbable – no, I’d have to have visited there before. Same for the Fifth Key . . .’
‘As I said, there is no way,’ Dame Primus insisted. ‘Once again illustrating that I know best, Arthur. You must remember that although you are the Rightful Heir, you were just a mortal boy not so long ago. No one can expect you to have the wisdom—’
Arthur ignored her. Another plan had just occurred to him. ‘There might be a way,’ he said. ‘I’ll have to go and check it out.’
‘What?’ asked Dame Primus, indignant. ‘What way? Even if you could get to the Upper House, you must remember that Saturday has thousands of sorcerers, perhaps even tens of thousands. Acting in concert and directed by her, they could easily overcome you, take you prisoner—’
‘I’m not just going to charge in,’ said Arthur. He was getting increasingly tired of Dame Primus’s objections. ‘In fact, if I can get there the way I’m thinking, it will be a very sneaky approach. Anyway, we’re wasting time. You need to split into two, Dame Primus, and get to work. I have to head over to the Border Sea.’
‘This is all too hasty!’ protested Dame Primus. ‘What can you possibly want in the Border Sea?’
‘The Raised Rats.’
Dame Primus took in an outraged breath and her frown got so deep, her eyebrows almost met in a huddle above her nose.
‘The Raised Rats are agents of the Piper! Like the Piper’s children, they are not to be trusted! They are to be hunted down and exterminated!’
‘Old Primey got her undergarments in a twist again,’ said a voice behind him. He turned and smiled as he saw his friend Suzy Turquoise Blue expertly slide between two Denizens to stand next to him.
‘Suzy! What on earth are you wearing?’
‘M’uniform,’ said Suzy. She raised her battered top hat, which now had two oversize gold epaulettes sewn to the back like a sun-cape, and bowed. The half-dozen probably unearned medals on her red regimental coat (that had the sleeves cut off to show her yellow shirt) jangled as she made a bow, and the leg she thrust forward creaked, since she was also wearing the same kind of leather breeches as Arthur, which he had thought were exclusive to Sir Thursday. Her boots were red and did not resemble those in any uniform that Arthur had learnt about in his recruit training. Neither did the iridescent-green-scaled belt she wore, though the savage-sword at her side was in a regulation sheath.
Arthur blinked, not least because there were several other Piper’s children clad in similar strange combinations standing behind Suzy.
‘Suzy’s Raiders,’ Suzy said, seeing him look. ‘Irregulars. Marshal Dusk signed off on it. Told ’im it was your idea.’
‘My idea,’ Arthur started to say, but he bit off his words as he saw Suzy wiggling her eyebrows at him.
‘On account of the Piper’s children bein’ under a cloud, so to speak,’ added Suzy. ‘Better to ’ave us all in one lot. Easier to watch, that way. If Old Prim – I mean, if Dame Primus wants to knock us off.’
‘It’s not a personal matter, Miss Blue,’ said Dame Primus with a sniff. ‘I am merely doing whatever is necessary to ensure Lord Arthur’s eventual triumph. You yourself have fallen under the spell of the Piper’s music once. Ensuring that it doesn’t happen again is simply common sense.’
‘You don’t have to kill us,’ said Suzy, bristling. She rummaged in her pockets and produced two ugly grey stumps of candle wax. ‘We can just stick this ’ere wax in our ears and we won’t be able to hear the pipe! Besides, it’s General Turquoise Blue now!’