“I … Causey … We’re getting married,” she blurts out and stares at me, waiting for my reaction. She twists her fingers together, chewing on her lip and looks a lot younger than her twenty-four years.
I stare back, shocked at their news because I was not expecting it, but as it sinks in, a smile grows, mirroring the same expression on Meghan and Causey’s face. This is great news. They are good together, he makes her happy, and my sister deserves to be happy. Striding toward her, I gather her into my arms and squeeze her tightly.
“I’m happy for you. Both of you.” I kiss the top of her head and then look over at Causey, who is hanging back, the worried expression from earlier has gone. Meghan disentangles herself, and I hold out my hand for Causey to shake. He draws me closer in an awkward guy hug, and it starts to sink in that he’s going to be family. It’s been the two of us for so long, but Causey’s a good guy and a good friend. Causey slings his arm around Meghan and tucks her into his side and I go back to watching them, letting it sink in that my sister is getting married. Then it occurs to me then that she won’t want her little brother living with her when she’s a married woman. My mind begins to race, trying to work out where I will go.
“You’ll be moving out?” I ask, trying to work it all out.
“At some point.” She shrugs, and I don’t feel very assured by her answer.
“Think your mom will let me stay here?” I direct my question to Causey and it’s his turn to shrug. What the fuck is with the two of them? Have they not thought any of this out? Where are they going to live when they get married? “I promise no parties and I’ll keep the girls to a minimum.” I wink for effect but my hearts not in it anymore. Why am I pretending to them or myself? No girl since Leigh Storm has turned my head.
Meghan scowls at me. “You’re not staying here on your own.”
“What?”
“We’re moving into the house Causey and his dad built, and you are moving into the apartment over the garage.” A triumphant smile spreads over her lips and I take back everything I was thinking. They have given this some thought, and I’m touched they included me in their plans.
“If you want to,” Causey adds when I still haven’t said anything.
Meghan slips out of his hold and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek against my chest.
“I don’t like you being too far from me,” she says quietly, her grip on me tightening.
I look down, pressing my lips to the top of her head and mumble, “Me neither.”
• • •
Meghan fills me in on their wedding plans on the drive to The Three Monkeys, but I’m listening with half an ear. Causey’s parents have planned a small celebration at the bar. All I want is to be left alone to wallow in self-pity, but it looks like it will have to wait for another day. I follow behind Meghan and Causey, but once we’re inside, I duck out of the way and find a quiet spot at the bar. I order a beer and stand shoulders hunched with my back to everyone, staring at the bottle.
A hand lands on my shoulder, jolting me out of my pity party, and I turn to see Aaron and Beth standing behind me.
“Sorry, man.” Aaron doesn’t need to elaborate; I know exactly what he is talking about.
“I tried.” I shrug and pick up the bottle, staring at it a moment longer before downing half in one go.
“I know.” He offers me a weak smile, but he’s trying to convince us both. “I’ll see you around.” He nods and walks away to find a table.
After another few bottles of beer, each one accompanied by a shot, Ryder claims the seat next to me, which has remained empty all evening. Everyone around me seems to know I don’t want to be bothered, for which I’m grateful. Ryder is no exception. He orders a soda and sits facing forward, not saying a word.
“Not drinking?” I ask.
“Nah, ill from last night,” he grumbles which brings a faint smile to my lips.
“Good news about Sugar and Causey.” He looks over the top of my head and I follow his gaze. Causey has his arm wrapped tightly around her small waist; I don’t think he’s let her out of his sight all night. Meghan beams up at him with adoration. I’m happy for them, and any other time, I’d be celebrating along with everyone else, but tonight … it makes me think of what I could have had.
For the rest of the night, Ryder and I sit side by side, hardly speaking. I’m shit company, but I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. Lucky for me, Ryder doesn’t seem to care.
“I’m going for a piss,” I mumble and slide off the bar stool, catching myself on the bar when my legs buckle underneath me. I’ve had more to drink than I realized. I stumble to the restroom, nodding at a few people I know, but everyone’s blurry and I’m unable to focus on their faces. Once in the bathroom, I brace one hand on the wall while I use the urinal trying to stop myself from swaying. I wash my hands and splash cold water on my face, but it does fuck all. It’s time to go home.