“So unfair,” he mumbled.
With the emotional roller coaster of last night, and then again this morning, Jessica hadn’t had time to process her feelings on the Chamber Players position. Now she felt a little dizzy, knowing she was about to take them from this amazing high to a place of serious discussion again, but she needed to at least share with him that the offer was on the table.
Her two-bedroom loft was a far cry from the spacious home Jamie lived in. She wondered what Jamie was thinking as he crossed the light-colored, wide-planked hardwood floors and passed the arched windows that overlooked the park. He picked up photographs of her family from her bookshelves as she went to her bedroom to change.
She was zipping her jeans when he came to the doorway and leaned casually against the edge of the doorframe, holding a photograph in his hand.
“You’re beautiful, Jess. Maybe I should skip work today.”
“Don’t even tease me with that. You just solved the world’s dragon dilemma. I’m sure your employees will want to cover you in roses or something.” She loved the way he laughed, a masculine sound that came from deep in his lungs.
“More like throw them at me.” He came to her side as she pulled on her top.
“Are these your parents?” He showed her the photograph he was holding of her with her parents, taken a few years ago after one of her concerts. She and her father were smiling wide; her mother’s face was more serious, though still smiling. It was a strained smile, a familiar one to Jessica. Her mother’s emotions were always tethered.
“Yeah, it was taken after a concert a while ago.”
Jamie settled a hand on her hip. “You look a lot like your father.”
“I know. He blessed me with his dimples. When I was little, he used to tell me that we had them because an elf came into our bedrooms when we were babies and stole the divot of skin for good luck. He concocted a whole fairy tale about how the elves planted the divots and grew these glorious forests of good luck trees.” She pictured the way her father’s eyes lit up, and if she tried hard enough, she could hear the hushed tone he used to tell his tale. The memories were comforting.
“I love that idea.”
“Me too. Jamie, you never finished reading the information Mark gave you about me.”
He pulled her closer to him and kissed her softly. “I know. I’m not worried about that. I know everything I need to know.”
“There is one more thing I need to tell you. It’s a big thing, and I can’t believe I didn’t mention it yet, but we’ve been so sidetracked…”
“A big thing?” He sat on her bed and patted the bedspread beside him.
She sat beside him, and he draped an arm over her shoulder.
“Give it to me straight.” He smiled at the joke.
“Okay.” She felt a wave of excitement wash through her—an emotion that she now realized she’d been ignoring. Or maybe she’d been too upset to realize it was there. Whatever the reason, she couldn’t ignore the pride she felt as she explained. “Well, last night, before the concert, my manager told me that I was going to be invited to play as one of the Chamber Players for the orchestra.”
Jamie’s eyes widened. “That’s good news, right?”
“Well, it’s big news.” Her pulse accelerated. “At my age, it’s really pretty phenomenal, but it comes with more commitments, and with our relationship, I’m not sure it’s the best move for me. For us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, if I continue playing with the orchestra, there are times I’ll have to travel. And I told you that I practice sometimes three or four hours a day and then go to work late into the evenings. It’s not exactly conducive to a relationship, or a family.”
“It’s not?” Jamie’s eyes grew serious. “I never realized that, because my grandmother played and she raised my mother somehow. And although she wasn’t playing with an orchestra when I was growing up, there were times that she played with different groups, and my grandfather took me to see her play or spent the evenings with me. They worked it out.”
“Yes, but you have Vera to take care of, and you have an entire empire, according to Mark. I can’t be a distraction, or drag you away from what you’ve worked so hard to build, or from the woman who raised you.”
“No, you really can’t.” He drew his brows together and his mouth formed a tight line.
Her stomach lurched. No, you really can’t. Hadn’t she known it might come to this? Hadn’t she dreamed of other things while she was at the Cape? Maybe teaching cello instead of playing for an audience? She hadn’t felt sad when she contemplated those things at the Cape. But after coming back and playing again and being accepted into the Chamber Players, she realized how much she enjoyed playing for the orchestra, even if the schedule was grueling. She reached for Jamie’s hand. She loved him more than she loved playing. That much she knew, and she could still play, just for a different group. She could make this concession for them.