"I'm calling bullshit. You have never felt that way about me. I can see why you want this job Jackson but you don't have to mate me to get it." I get up and go to the window seat. I pull my knees to my chest and stare outside.
"You think that I don't want you?" He's angry. I shake my head. "You think that I'm faking this because I want an alpha position?" I nod but I can't look at him because he will see the tears in my eyes. Sure, we could mate and probably be happy for the rest of our lives but it would always bother me. It would bother me to find out if he wanted the job or me. Before today, Jackson has never had a romantic notion toward me. He has never told me that I'm pretty or that he likes me in that way. I want him to feel that way but I know that he doesn't. "Summer I've wanted you for as long as I can remember but it wasn't like that. We were friends and I didn't want to destroy that relationship by rushing you into something that you weren't ready to have. Lately though, I've realized that you want me too."
"It was just a dream Jackson, it didn't mean anything." I say quietly.
"Don't lie to me." He snarls. "Don't lie." Jackson pulls me from the window seat and throws me over his shoulder. We are going to the bedroom. He's going to rape me. I have not consented to this. I bite my lip with worry. I can't fight him off because he is too strong. If he wants to claim me as his mate there is nothing that I can do about it. I'll never find the mate that I was supposed to have if he does this.
"Jackson, please?" I beg quietly. He puts me down on the edge of the bed and drops to his knees in front of me.
"You want me Summer, don't lie, be honest. Do you want me? Do you want me to make love to you? Was it only a dream or was it your mind engaging in a fantasy that you don't think you can really have? I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth about how you feel. If you can tell me that, we are only friends, fine. However, if you want me, say so. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear or what you think you believe is true." Jackson's eyes were focused and intent on mine. Shit. When he does that penetrating alpha stare, I am compelled to do whatever he wants. I want to please him. I want him so much but even more so, I want him to want me.
"I have that dream all the time. There are more of them, different versions. They started a year ago." I say quietly looking away.
"Answer my questions." He commanded me and turned my face back to his with his fingertips.
"Yes Jackson I want you but I know that you don't want me like that." The tears begin to well in my eyes again. "I don't want to mate and have a tepid relationship. I want passion and desire. I want mind numbing. I don't want us to be best friends for the rest of my life, well I do, but I want more." My chin quivered and my throat was closing up. My heart has started to pound and he's going to sense these roiling emotions if I don't get them under control.
"You think that I don't want you?" My head shook slowly. "Or you don't believe that I could want you because you aren't little and blonde like your sisters." My head shook again. "You couldn't be more wrong sweetheart." I made a face and he grinned. "I've waited so long to call you that. God I've waited so long for everything. Do you remember when your dad said that I couldn't stay over anymore?" I nodded. "He told you that it was because we were going into puberty and that it wasn't proper anymore. That wasn't why. It was because he caught me looking up your nightgown. We were sleeping in the den in sleeping bags." He smiled whimsically. "You had kicked yours off and scooted over next to me. I was looking under your nightgown at your boobs. Do you remember? They had just started growing. He walked in and scared the shit out of me. Your dad said that I would not be able to stay over anymore that we were too old and that I was a little pervert." Jackson laughed. "It could've been worse. He was actually cool about it. I mean he could've torn me to pieces and it would've been justified." I smiled. "I want to see them again. I mean I've waited a really long time for it." I pull my shirt up and let him look. Big deal. We've been swimming a million times and he saw them a couple of weeks ago. "That's not what I meant Summer." He shakes his head. "My point is that we were twelve and I was interested in you then, desired you then. I want you Summer. I have always wanted you. I know that way back then you weren't into it but I hoped that we would find our way to each other. Then you left." His head dropped to my lap and my fingers wove into his thick hair. "I don't want to mate you just so I can be the alpha of this pack. I want to mate you. If you decide that we want to go home and wait until I can challenge your dad then that's what we will do."
"Jackson." I say softly. He leans up and kisses me quickly. I gasp surprised. His mouth is softer than I expected. I didn't expect this. Not any of it. A few minutes ago, I thought that he was going to rape me and claim me. It wouldn't be unheard of in my world in fact it happened often. I thought of Kelly. He leans up again getting to his feet. His hands are on either side of my hips and his lips are crushing mine. It's beyond nice. It's better than the dreams I've had. His teeth nip at my bottom lip and his tongue finds a way into my mouth. It's exploring my tongue, my teeth and the roof of my mouth. I moan. I can't stop it. Jackson pushes me back then drags me up the bed until my head is on the pillow. His knee is separating my thighs and my core is weeping, clenching. God I want him. I want to trust him, to trust that he wants me too, that it's not a ruse for an alpha position. My body needs him, needs satisfaction, and needs love. His nimble fingers are pulling my shirt off and before I realize what he's up to, he's pulling my jeans off. I'm in only my underwear and he is still in his clothes. I want his clothes off him. I want to feel his skin. I tug at the hem of his tee shirt and Jackson reaches down between us and rips it off, his jeans follow. He is still kissing me. "Have you done this before?" I ask. My voice is all breathy and not one that I recognize. I know he has gone on dates usually at the request of his mother to take someone's daughter or niece out. "Jackson?" He looks up at me now, his eyes glazed and I know that look is desire. He really wants me, or he really wants sex. Don't think about it, I tell myself. "Have you done this before?" He gives me a half smile and nods. "But you've wanted me for years?" I start to pull away.
"Stop it Summer. Don't pick a fight with me because you're scared. You always do that." I don't do that. Do I?
"I'm not scared." I roll my eyes. Okay maybe I am a little. "Who?" I ask. "I have a right to know." Jackson has slept with other girls. Jealously streaks through me and I want to rip their throats out.
"Okay." He sighs and rolls off me but stays close. "The first one was Melanie." I make a face. "Hey, I know you don't like it but you have no idea how many hormones are in a male's bloodstream during puberty. I would've used a hole in the drywall. Don't ever repeat that either." I laugh. "We did it a half a dozen times before she went after Tim." My mouth dropped open. "It was before Autumn looked at him so close that." He pushed my mouth shut with his fingertip and grinned. "The second was Laney but we only did it once, she preferred oral." I scrunched my face up. Laney, that little bitch! She'd been with nearly every male in a thirty-mile radius. She will turn her tail up to anyone. "The third was a girl I met when we went to Florida. It was one time in a bathroom stall. I didn't get her name." He looked ashamed at that admission. "Since we're having this talk, who have you been with?" My brows knitted and I worried my lip. "Come on, I told you." I felt the flush creep over my cheeks. "No one?" I shook my head and he looked pleased, more than pleased. "Good." He pulled me to him and kissed me again. My hands flattened against his chest, my fingertips explored the planes of muscle and ridges of rib. His skin was soft and hot. Jackson took my hand and kissed my palm then put it on his erection. "Feel how much I want you." He left a trail of nips and kisses along my jaw and down my neck. His erection was long and thick but I stroked it from base to the tip that was peeking out of the top of his boxers. I looked down at it. The tip glistened. I wanted to taste him. I bent and he rolled to his back knowing what I wanted. His fingers wove into my braid and guided my head to it. I licked it tentatively. Jackson groaned and pulled the boxers down with his free hand. Crisp dark hair surrounded his length that I felt with my fingers. I stroked down with my tongue. This was the other dream, me doing this to him. I did what I did in the dream and let my lips suck him deeply into my mouth. "Fuck." He hissed and dragged me up his body. "I don't want to come yet." Jackson unclasped my bra and rolled me onto my back. His mouth worshipped my breasts. Nipping at them, licking them, sucking them then he was kissing his way down my belly. I quivered and trembled, aching for him. I heard someone knocking on my door that went to the store. That had to be Shirley.