Sighing, I pick up my glass of water and take a sip. When I set it back down, I decide to tell Gavin about the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Because then… maybe then… he’d understand that I’m truly not the meek little kitten he takes me for.
At least, I haven’t always been.
“I was almost raped in high school,” I say without preamble, deciding just to go ahead and blitz him with the information.
“What the fuck?” he says as he jolts upright in his seat and then leans forward to grab my hand again.
“By my boyfriend,” I continue while never letting my gaze drop from his. “We had been dating for a few months, and he was pressuring me to have sex. I wasn’t ready… I wasn’t in love with him, and I was a virgin. I didn’t want to give it up to him.”
Gavin grits his teeth hard, his eyes blazing. “What happened?”
“We were at a party… a bonfire, everyone was drinking. He was drunk, and I was drunk. He tried again, and I said ‘no.’ He apparently thought ‘no’ meant ‘yes’ and wouldn’t stop.”
“But he did stop,” Gavin demands with menace in his voice. He knows he stopped because I told him I was “almost” raped.
“Yes… only after someone heard me scream and interrupted him. He immediately jumped off me and left.”
“What did you do?”
“I went straight to the police and reported it,” I tell him sadly, because while it was the right thing to do, it caused so much more strife in my life than if I had just stayed silent.
“Good for you,” he says with a smile, squeezing my hand.
“No, not good for me,” I tell him as I pull my hand free from his grasp. “Going forward with my allegation was the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
Gavin blinks at me, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean Kevin… my boyfriend… my attacker, was captain of the football team and the most popular guy in high school. His father was our small town’s beloved, local doctor. His mother was on the church choir. Kevin denied it happened, and no one believed me. He was my boyfriend after all. Everyone was of the mindset that a man can’t rape his girlfriend.”
“Tell me you’re joking. What about the person that saw it happening?”
“A friend of Kevin’s that wasn’t willing to testify to what he saw.”
“So what did you do?” he asks with trepidation.
“I did the only thing I could do. I told the truth and stuck to my guns. There was physical evidence. My clothes were torn, Kevin had choked me so I had bruises on my throat, and I had scratched him across the face. Coupled with my testimony, that was enough for the DA to press charges.”
“Was there a trial?”
“Yes. It was many months later, and I went through a living hell to get there. I lost all my friends because no one would believe me. I was bullied… physically pushed around by girls who all had a crush on Kevin and wouldn’t believe it of their popular sports star. Guys would grab at me, thinking I was loose. Adults in the community shunned me because I was bringing disgrace to our sleepy town. Even the local paper wrote editorial opinions taking his side. My parents were the only ones that stood by me.”
“You’re fucking kidding? Who does stuff like that?”
“The town of Clearview, Indiana,” I tell him evenly.
Gavin swallows hard, and I can see a bit of fear in his eyes. “How did it end?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Justice prevailed. He was convicted of sexual battery. Got a year and a half in prison, but was out in nine months.”
“How is that justice?” Gavin asks angrily.
I give him a soft look of assurance… letting him know that I’m okay. “It’s justice because the jury agreed with me that Kevin tried to rape me. After everything I went through… that was the most important thing that could happen for me. Didn’t matter to me what his sentence was—it was that I proved everyone in that fucking town wrong.”
Gavin is quiet a moment, digesting my story. He pushes slowly out of his chair and walks to the opposite side of the table, dropping to his knees beside me. He grabs my face in his hands and leans in to kiss me on my lips. It’s our first kiss, and it’s soft and sweet, filled with care. I realize… that Gavin and I had sex today, and he never even kissed me on the lips until now.
How very strange.
How very naughty and thrillingly bad.
When he pulls away, Gavin says, “Oh, Sweet… after hearing that story, you are, without a doubt, the strongest heroine I’ve ever known.”