Subordination:Chronicles of a Domme(31)
Reaching behind me, I placed my hands on the top of his buttocks and raked my fingernails into his skin. The sting was enough to send him over the edge. He came with a shout just as my walls began convulsing around him for my second orgasm.
William collapsed onto his back in the hay, taking me him. We lay there, our chest heaving. “That was amazing.”
“Yes. It was,” I panted. Propping up on one elbow, he peered at me. “How did you like playing the sub?”
“How did you like being the dom?”
He grinned. “I asked you first.”
I reached up to pick a piece of hay out of his hair. “It wasn’t so bad.”
“You came three times, and it wasn’t so bad?”
I laughed. “Okay, okay. It was pretty damn hot.” I nudged his shoulder with mine. “What about you?”
“I liked it. I mean, I don’t see myself ever being a dom all the time, but it was really sexy telling you what to do.”
“Do you think you would ever want to do anything more extreme than telling me what to do and orgasm denial?”
“Like would I want to tie you up?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe.” He appeared thoughtful. “I don’t think I could ever use a flogger or cane on you. I’d be too afraid I’d hurt you.”
I smiled at his overprotectiveness. “I don’t think I’d want that anyway. Maybe a good spank on the ass from time to time.”
His brows rose in surprise. “You’d really let me do that?”
“Sure. Just as long as you don’t call me ‘girl’.”
“I’ll try to remember.”
“Yeah, you do that.”
When William slid out of me, he muttered, “Oh fuck.”
Since it didn’t sound like a pleasurable response, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
“No condom.”
“We’ve both been tested at the club, and I’ve got an IUD.”
He exhaled in relief. “Thank God.”
“Worried I might give you something?” I teasingly asked.
He shook his head. “It’s more about getting you pregnant.”
His response surprised me. “I thought you said before that you didn’t like CBT because of wanting kids in the future.”
“I did, and I do.”
Both my pride and my feelings got delivered a hell of a stinging slap at that remark. “What is it?” he asked.
“You want kids in the future, just not with me.”
William’s eyes widened. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Right.”
When I started to stand up, he pulled me to him. “Sophie, I would love to have children with you. Someday. Tomorrow. Whenever. With your capacity for love and caring, I can’t even begin to imagine what an amazing mother you would be. The reason I said what I did is I wouldn’t want to force you into marriage because of an unexpected pregnancy.”
My mouth dropped open in surprise. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I want you to be with me because you want to be. Not because you feel you have to for the sake of a child.” His expression grew even more serious. “Maybe this is the best time to talk about our future.”
I rolled my eyes. “Why is it you always want to do the serious talks when we’re naked?”
“Maybe it’s coincidence, or maybe it’s because we’re truly vulnerable when we’re naked. We can’t hide behind clothes, so we tend to speak more freely.”
“That’s really deep.”
“I am deep. You should know that by now.”
“I know you get pretty damn deep inside me.”
William growled. “Would you stop deflecting with the sexual innuendo?”
Holding up my hands, I replied, “Fine. I’m sorry.”
“We could make this work.” At my skeptical look, he shook his head. “We just had some pretty amazing sex where I didn’t have to be a sub or be hit to get off.”
“But you’ve said yourself you have to play.”
“Before you, I thought I did. But now I see I can have good sex—great sex— without it.
But if you got tired of playing the domme or it became uncomfortable for you, then I could still get it out of the system at the club. But only if you were okay with that.”
“Where another woman would make you come? How does that fit anywhere into a healthy relationship?” I huffed with disgust.
“Then I don’t have to go to the club. I only suggested that if you weren’t comfortable playing with me from time to time.”
“Let’s just suspend disbelief for a moment and say that I agreed. Have you forgotten that you’re my boss? How is it possible for us to have any sort of relationship in this town?”
William chewed thoughtfully on a piece of hay. After a few moments, he said, “We could date in secret until the end of the year. You could put in for a transfer to another school in the district. Then when we weren’t boss and employee anymore, we could make it public. Even if people wanted to speculate on when we got together, it wouldn’t have any legal ramifications.”
“Why am I the one who has to leave Milton?”
“Yours is just the easier position. As a principal, the school board decides where I go.”
Even though he made sense, I still wanted to be stubborn and not like the idea. “I don’t know if it’s worth taking the risk until the year is over.”
William’s expression became wounded. “Don’t you at least want to try?”
I didn’t want to answer his question. Instead, I continued internally battling the angel and demon waging war with each other as they perched on my shoulders.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it until I don’t have a breath left in me. We have a deep connection. One that surpasses Domme and sub and everything physical and goes deep emotionally…maybe even spiritually.” William placed his hand over my heart. “So why won’t you let me in here?”
“Because every time I love someone, they leave me,” I whispered.
“I promise I won’t do that.”
I shook my head sadly. “You can’t promise that—no one can.”
“Then how about this: it can be like the section of the wedding vows, ‘until death us do part’.” He cupped my face in his hands. “I won’t leave you unless I have to, or unless I’m obeying your command.”
More than anything in the world, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to have someone as wonderful as William by my side. “Okay, okay, we can give it a try.”
He stared at me for a moment, looking like he wasn’t sure he heard me right. “Really?”
“I’ll be your secret girlfriend, and we can sneak around like we’re having some affair.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not. And when you say it like that, you make it sound all cheap and seedy.”
I laughed. “Heaven forbid it sound like that.”
“Exactly.” He brought his lips to mine. “This is going to work, you’ll see. And in the meantime, I’m going to make you so happy that you’ll wonder why you ever had doubts.”
At the earnestness of his expression, I gave him a genuine smile. “I really hope so.”
At the bang on the barn door, both William and I jumped. “You guys decent?” Ansel called.
“Um, well…” I replied.
Ansel made a sound of disgust. “Once you’re done fornicating and are clothed, come back up to the house. Dad wants us to all have dinner together.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. We’ll be right there.”
Ansel’s laughter carried as he started away from the barn. “Fornicating, huh?” William asked.
I sighed. “My grandfather is a Baptist preacher in the backwoods of Alabama. He likes to use that word when he’s cautioning Ansel and me on making good choices.”
William grinned. “You of all people are a minister’s granddaughter?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.”
“Just when I think you can’t surprise me anymore, you go and tell me something like that.”
I laughed. “It’s not like we’re close or anything. My mom’s parents weren’t the touchy feeling kind like my dad’s were. We really only see them at holidays.”
“Regardless, you have to admit that it makes for a pretty interesting dynamic with you being a foul-mouthed Domme.”
“I have faith…I just don’t brow beat people with it like he does.”
“And that’s good. We’re not supposed to be zealots with it. Just let our lights shine.”
“Wow. Now we’re talking about faith while naked. I think it’s time we get dressed before lightning strikes the barn.”
William chuckled. “Or Ansel comes back to harass us.”
“I’m not sure which one would be worse,” I mused as I walked over to the dryer. When I opened the door, I wrinkled my nose. Even though I’d put in about fifty dryer sheets, our clothes still reeked to high heaven.
When I handed his jeans to William, his expression soured. “How in the hell can I put these on when they stink like horse shit?”
I laughed. “How else do you plan on getting back to the house for your other pants?”