“He’s single.”
“Thanks for letting me know.”
“Is it because of that other guy you’re texting with? ‘Cause if he hasn’t made things official with you, then you can totally see other guys.”
“Excuse me while I don’t take relationship advice from my seventeen-year-old brother.”
Ansel hopped up to sit on the top of one of the desks. “Come on, Soph. Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t go after Dr. F.”
“Um, I don’t know. Maybe the fact he’s my boss?”
Ansel’s shoulders momentarily drooped. “That is a buzzkill.”
“Just a tiny one.”
He cocked his head at me. “What if he wasn’t your boss? Would you want to date him then?”
Sure I’d want to date him. After all, I’ve fucked him. Ten minutes ago I was considering a future with him. “I don’t know. I guess so.”
“You guess so? Jesus, Soph, when was the last time you’ve had a date besides meeting the guy running?”
“That’s none of your business, thank you very much.”
“Dad worries all the time about you not dating. That’s why he practically pissed himself with excitement yesterday when he heard about your mystery texter.”
“Is that right?”
Ansel nodded. “He’s worried that you’re sacrificing having a boyfriend to take care of him.”
I had feared that my dad harbored those thoughts. But actually knowing he’d vocalized them to Ansel felt the same as the blade of a knife piercing my heart. I fought for a moment to catch my breath. “I don’t want him worrying about me,” I said.
“He’s our dad, Soph. Just because he’s disabled doesn’t mean he’s going to stop being a parent.”
“I know that. It’s just he has enough on his plate without concerning himself with my love life.”
Ansel shrugged. “Maybe it’s not so much that he’s worrying, but that he wants you married off so he can have a grandkid.”
Kids. Wow, that wasn’t something I considered anytime soon. Sure, I wanted a family, but I also wanted a few years of teaching under my belt along with some travel before I thought of getting pregnant. A pang of regret entered my chest at the thought of my father not being here to see his grandchildren. “Well, he doesn’t need to be thinking about grandkids from me right now.”
“He ain’t getting one from me either. I wrap my shit up.”
Shaking my head, I laughed at Ansel. “That’s both completely disgusting and good to know. Make sure you keep it that way.” After I shooed him down off the desk, I said, “Come on. Let’s get busy.”
The rest of the day felt like I was tripping out in a weird dream-like state. At lunch, I laughed and talked with the other English teachers, but was almost as if I was playing the part of Sophie Jameson, not really being me. I felt as if I was standing outside of myself and watching some stranger interact with people. I was that shaken.
Finding out William was my new boss had been like a seismic shift on a fault line—a quake of epic proportions. It was the first time something so life altering had happened, and I hadn’t been prepared for it. Facing my dad’s deteriorating health along with the illnesses that had taken my beloved grandparents—I’d had a moment to catch my breath and put on my emotional armor. With William, it had been like being shoved off the edge of the cliff to free-fall into a great crevasse.
William had gotten to me as a sub and as a man. I hadn’t let myself go with him just in the dungeon—I had gone even further with him emotionally. I’d allowed him to see parts of my life that no man had ever known. And now any hope of a future with him had been shot to hell the moment he walked into my classroom and introduced himself as my principal.
When we returned from lunch, it was time to file into the auditorium for our first staff meeting. As I walked in with Jane, I felt like I was trudging through quicksand. I wanted nothing more than to run out of there. I needed time to process everything before I had to face him again.
After taking a seat, I tried keeping my gaze on the paper outlining the meeting agenda. But curiosity finally got the best of me, and I peeked up at the stage. William stood flanked on both his sides by the two other assistant principals. Although we were a small county with only two high schools, it was still a surprise to see the superintendent, Dr. Levinson, walk to the podium.
“Good afternoon. I wanted to take a moment to welcome you all back and to wish you a productive and positive school year.” He shifted on his feet. “The main reason why I am here is to ensure that there a smooth change in command here at Milton. It is very disheartening and regretful what happened with Dr. Newsome. However, the school board and I have sought out the very best replacement we could for him. I’m sure it is surprising to some of you that we hired someone from outside of the district. This isn’t a slight on any of the fine assistant principals we have here. We simply wanted to start fresh. That’s why we were proud to recruit Dr. William Foster to the district.”
Brief applause broke out as William joined the superintendent at the podium. “Dr. Foster is a magna cum laude graduate of The University of Tennessee. He earned his master’s and doctorate in educational administration from The University of Georgia. He taught history and coached football for eight years at Lassiter High School in Cobb County before moving on to be an assistant principal. He did his doctoral studies in helping improve test scores and graduation rates at lower socioeconomic schools, which is the reason why we had to have him here.”
“Quite an impressive background,” Jane mused beside me.
“It is.”
“Not to mention he’s easy on the eyes.”
“I suppose so.”
Jane snickered. “Don’t try to hide it, honey. I can tell you’d screw him into next Tuesday if you were given the chance.”
My head whirled around to stare at her. She winked at me before jerking her chin back at the stage. I looked up in time to see William taking his place in front of the podium. He was all confidence and self-assurance. Just like I took on my persona of Mistress Juliette, it was obvious he had a carefully constructed work façade.
“Good afternoon. It’s an honor and a pleasure to be standing before you. I know most of you are anxious about having a new principal after Dr. Newsome’s long tenure here. I want to put you at ease and to assure you we’re all in this together. Although I’ve had experience as an assistant principal, this is my first time in the led role. I’m going to need help from each and every one of you from the veteran teachers to the first-year teachers.” William surprised the hell out of me by looking in my direction.
“You all have something to give and contribute to me to make me a better leader. My door is always open for whatever you need. I hope this will be one of the best years Milton has seen.”
When he finished speaking, applause broke out in the auditorium. William batted his hand. “Now that the speech is over, let’s get down to business—the wonderfully exciting PowerPoint of school and district procedures that you all look forward to seeing again every year.” At the teasing groans, William only smiled.
As the lights dimmed, I tried not to think about another time I’d been with William in a darkly lit room. At my groan of frustration, Jane asked, “Are you all right?”
“My foot is asleep,” I lied with a smile.
“Oh.”
I turned my attention back to the PowerPoint. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus on anything that was on it. Instead, all I could think about was Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken and all that two roads diverged in a woods bullshit. Because I’d chosen to spend a little extra time at 1740, my whole world had been turned on its axis. Everything was fucked up, and I only had myself, my libido, and if I was truly honest with myself, my heart to blame.
The instant the clock above my whiteboard read four I bolted from my classroom and out the back door. I knew I was supposed to sign out before I left, but I didn’t want to risk a chance of seeing William again. I would just feign new teacher ignorance if they called me on it.
I sprinted to my car. I probably left blackened tire marks when I squealed out of my parking space. I didn’t feel like myself again until I walked through the garage door into the kitchen at home. After dropping my purse on the floor, I went straight to the fridge and took out a beer.
At the sound of a voice behind me, I jumped, sending beer sloshing onto the floor. “Dammit!”
“Rough first day?” Susie asked with a smile.
“You have no idea.” I took another long gulp before I sat the can down to clean up my mess.
“I hear the new principal is a real looker.”
Her statement caused me to fumble with the paper towels before knocking the roll off the counter. “Fuck,” I muttered.
“You really are having a hard time today,” Susie mused.
I bent over to mop up the beer. “It really wasn’t that bad. There’s just this jackass in my department who is trying to intimidate me because I’m new,” I lied.
“That’s a shame. You just keep your head up and hold your ground.”