Submitting to the Billionaire(5)

I stare at him in utter disbelief. This is just becoming more and more surreal. "Are you completely mad?"

"Far from it. I want to make it right for you."

"You want to make it right by killing yourself, and leaving me a widow?"

He stares into my eyes. "This is the only way to save your father."

I feel that like a shot in my solar plexus. My dad. Oh, God. My dad.

"Remember, I always said I'd die for you. You always used to scoff that  you'd have to see it to believe it. Now you know that I meant every  word."         

     



 

"This is madness. I can't believe this."

"I haven't been a good man. I've been wrapped up in myself, my own needs  and pleasure, but for the first time in my life I'm the one willingly  making the sacrifice. I feel good about my decision. I'm putting you  before me"

"No," I shout.

"There is no other option, Star."

I take a lungful of air. My chest feels too tight. "There is another option."

He shoots up so suddenly, his chair falls backwards, making me jump. He  looks down at me, his eyes hard. "What kind of man do you think I am? As  long as there's breath in my body I'll never let him have you. God,  even the thought makes my skin crawl."

I stand up too, and words I never dreamed I would ever say, stream out  of my mouth. "What kind of woman do you think I am? Do you think I'll  let you die to pay a debt when all I have to do is spread my legs once?"

"Besides the fact that it wouldn't be just once, I couldn't live with  myself if my wife had to pay my debts with her pure body. I might as  well be dead if I allow you to do that."

I swallow hard. "How many times would it be?"

"For fuck's sake, Star."

"Answer me."

"Why? It's not an option. I'm not going to let you do it."

My fists clench. "Answer me, goddamn you," I scream.

He looks shocked. I've never raised my voice like that to him. "A month," he whispers.

"I'd just go to him every night for a month?" I say coldly.

He flinches. "You'll have to stay with him."

"Will anything be down in writing?"

He kicks the fallen chair. "There's a contract."

"Will it just be straight sex, or will  …  there be other kinky things I'll have to do?"

"He let me look at the contract. Nothing will happen without your consent."

My legs suddenly feel like jelly and I flop back into the chair. I look up at him. "I'll do it."

He sits down and covers my shaking hand with his own. His hand is warm. "Please, Star. I don't want you to do this."

I get off my chair. I can't bear him touching me right now. I begin to  pace the dining room. He doesn't move, he just sits with his head in his  hands. I take deep breaths to calm my thoughts. If my Dad knew? I think  of my father lying in hospital fighting for his life and just like  that, my decision is made. I go back to the table and stand in front of  Nigel. "We've got no savings so if you die, the insurance company needs  at least a few months to issue a check, don't they?"

He nods.

"What happens to Dad until then?"

"Can't you ask your mother, or your sister to help?" His voice trembles.

I bite my lip and close my eyes so he will not see how much he has hurt me. I won't let you down, Dad.

"When do I need to go to his house?" I ask when I open my eyes.

He buries his face in his hands again. "I can't let you do this."

"It's tonight, isn't it?"

He nods brokenly.

"Contact him. Arrange for me to go there tonight. Make sure the contract is ready for me to sign."

He grabs my hand. "I can handle this. I just need a bit of time. I don't want you to do this for me."

"Rest easy, dear husband of mine. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for my dad," I say coldly.

He flinches as if I have hit him. "I won't let you do this," he blurts out suddenly.

"You don't get to tell me what to do anymore. You lost that right when you deceived me and put us in this mess."

I snatch my hand away from him and stand up. Quick as lightning, he catches it again. "Where are you going?"

"I need to shower, Nigel." My voice sounds dead and flat.

"Look, I'm going to try and arrange a temporary loan."

I look at him with bitter eyes. "Don't bother. You'll just be jumping  from the frying pan into the fire. Here's the deal. You will get on the  phone right now and you will make an appointment to seek help with your  addiction. Until you have been cured you will come straight back after  work to this house every night. Do you understand?"

He nods.

I lean in closer. "What's more, if you visit another club, or place another bet again, do not expect me to be here for you."

He swallows and nods again.

"Good."

"I love you," he says softly, his eyes glistening with tears.

That stops me in my tracks. I have never seen Nigel cry. Not even when  his mother died last year. "I love you too, Nigel, but you've really  hurt me with this one. I never saw it coming. I feel as if I don't even  know you."         

     



 

He grabs my hand with both of his. "You know me. I am the man you fell  in love with. I've just been a fool. I was lost. Now when I look back I  can't believe I did what I did."

"It's okay. We'll work through this," I say dully.

"There has to be another way."

"The other way is both you and my father die."

"This is such a fucking mess. I'm sorry, Star. I'm so sorry."

"So am I," I say softly. The truth is I feel completely numb. I actually  feel nothing. Not fear, sadness, horror, revulsion, not even anger.  Maybe, I'm in shock, but everything feels unreal. Like a dream that I  will wake up from.

"I don't care what I lose as long as I don't lose you," he cries.

I nod, too numb to care. Then I break away and go upstairs.





Chapter Seven





Star




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH3Fx41Jpl4

(Sinnerman)





When I get out of the shower Nigel is waiting for me in the bedroom.

I walk past him without looking at him and go to my wardrobe.

"Star?"

I open my underwear drawer. "Have you called him?"

"No."

"I've got to pick up Nan now. I'll be back this afternoon. Please make that call by then."

"We need to talk," he says.

I let my towel drop and pull on my panties. "No, we don't."

"Our marriage  … "

"Shame you didn't think about it while you were happily gambling away everything we have," I spit.

He walks towards me. "Please, Star."

In the mirror, I see him standing behind me. His hand reaches out, and I  watch transfixed, as his fingers caress my breast. His hand is a few  shades darker than my skin.

The image is erotic.

I carry on watching him. Surprised at how I feel absolutely nothing. He  slides around to the front of me and latches his mouth onto my nipple. I  look down at him suckling at my breast. Like a  …  vampire. He looks up  and our eyes meet. The expression in my face makes him freeze. He pulls  his mouth away and straightens.

"I'll be late," I tell him.

"I love you," he says.

"Yeah, you said." I side-step him and pick up the first pair of jeans my hands fall upon.

"I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry. If I could turn back the clock I'd do everything differently," he wails.

"Shame, then, that you can't turn back the clock."

"I'm going to find another way."

I look at him expressionlessly. "Like I said, I'll be home after lunch.  Make sure you either have the four hundred and fifty thousand pounds  ready to pay off your debt, or you've made an appointment for me to see  the Russian this evening."

"You're pretty eager to give yourself to him," he says bitterly.

I turn around and slap him hard across the face. So hard his face jerks  all the way to the side, and the palm of my hand stings. I look at the  white imprint of my palm on his cheek. I have never hit anyone before.

"Get out," I snarl.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"The longer you stand here the more respect I'm losing for you."

He holds his face and walks out of the room.

I get dressed and go downstairs. He comes out into the hallway. Totally  ignoring him, I walk out of the front door. Once I'm outside, I feel the  tears start stinging behind my eyes. I blink them back. No matter what  happens Nan or Dad must never know. I get into my car and drive down to  Nan's house. Grandad opens the door.

"What's up, Love?" he asks, patting my shoulder. "You look a bit pale."

"Nothing. I think I might be coming down with a cold. I don't feel that well."

"Is that Star?" Nan shouts from the bedroom.

"Who else would it be?" he shouts back.

"Come in. Come in," Grandad invites.

I walk through the hallway. "Nan, I'm not feeling too well. Is it okay if I get you a taxi? I'll go see Dad tomorrow."

"What's wrong with you, Love?"