"You'll have to ask him that yourself."
"What if he doesn't want to see me?"
"He is, how do you say in English, ah yes, dying to see you again."
I smile. "Really?"
"I know him very well, and yes, really."
My smile becomes a grin. "And you'll take me to him."
"Correct."
"Can you wait while I change?"
"Of course."
I go into Rosa's room, shut the door, and lean against it. "Did you hear?" The walls are paper thin in Rosa's apartment.
She lifts her shoulder up to her ears in a conspiratorial gesture. It makes her look like a naughty child. "Did I ever?"
"I've got nothing to wear."
"I have a wardrobe full."
"I was thinking about something demure and subtle."
"I'm thinking: something that'll blow his mind." She walks to her cupboard and takes out a pair of white shorts.
"No way am I wearing those."
"Look. You're wearing this or you're going in what you've got on now. Anyway it's the right weather for it," she says. She pulls out a button down pink top. "I don't know why I bought this. It's too girly for me, but it's perfect for you. He won't be able to resist."
"Are you sure about this? Won't it look too slutty."
"Yup. Nope you won't look slutty if you wear it with sneakers. You'll just look cute and adorable."
I change into the shorts and pink top. It doesn't look too bad. I fluff my hair out and slick on a layer of lip gloss and go out to meet Semyon.
He grins. "That is a good outfit."
"Thank you."
Chapter Fifty-Three
Star
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEd6QUbK2Mw
Making Love Out Of Nothing At All
It's cool in the car as Semyon drives us to Mayfair. I lean back against the leather and try to calm myself down. I have a plan. Well, it's kind of a plan.
Yana comes hurrying into the lofty entrance hallway as Semyon and I enter the house.
"He's in the study," she says in a hushed voice.
I thank her and walk to the study. I think I am even more nervous now than when I went to look for him in the club. Then I just assumed he would take me back. What I got was rejection and humiliation. I knock on the door and nearly die when I hear his voice say what I presume must be enter in Russian.
I straighten my shoulders. I can do this. I push open the door. He is not at his desk. He is sitting on the sofa with his feet up on the low table. He turns his face towards me and freezes. The seconds tick away while we stare at each other.
"What are you doing here?" His voice is strangely calm. There's something different about him. He looks tired. Older.
I close the door and, before I lose my nerve, start walking towards him. My sneakers make no sound on the thick carpet. His eyes trail hungrily over my body. They linger on my thighs. Thank god, the expression in them does not say thick thighs. His gaze moves up to my breasts, and up to my face.
"I was going to bring you flowers, but I heard a man would rather have a blowjob than flowers. So … "
He blinks.
I arrive in front of him. His eyes are heavy lidded and veiled. Gently I put my hands under his calves. They tense at my touch. I pick them up and put his feet on the floor. I slide in between the table and his knees and try to push the table back. It's heavier than I expected.
Wordlessly he places his feet on the table edge and pushes it well away, before returning his feet back to the ground. I get on my knees. Slowly sinking my teeth into my lower lip. I reach out a hand.
He does nothing.
I unzip his trousers. Gosh, he is hard. Tenderly I pull his cock out. Leaning down I take his thick, gorgeous, shaft into my mouth.
Ah, how I missed him. His taste, his scent, the feel of his warm, satiny smooth skin. His head drops back on the sofa and he sighs softly. I suck him until he comes in my mouth. He looks down on me.
"The blowjob was a brilliant idea," he says softly. I smell the alcohol. He's been drinking. That's why he seems so mellow. His hand strokes my hair. "How have you been, Star?"
I lay my cheek in his lap. "Terrible. Just terrible. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I cry for no reason."
"Why's that?"
"Because I'm in love with you, Nikolai."
"I thought you were in love with your husband."
I lift my head and look at him. "No, I'm not. I was so young and gullible when I met him. I believed everything he told me and I thought the world of him. I wouldn't listen to anyone who told me different."
He stares at me intently.
"I didn't want to believe that my marriage was built on shifting sands. I wanted desperately to believe in my fairytale marriage. I wanted to be in love with him. Next year we were supposed to start a family. I cannot tell you how much I wanted that. I even know the brand of baby oil I want to use on my baby."
He looks at me curiously. "Really?"
I blush. "Yes, it's called Huile Douche. It's just wonderful. It melts on your skin and makes you think of fields of flowers, fresh air and sunshine."
His lips twist. His forefinger drags down my cheek. "What a sweet little creature you are. What a shame I can't keep you."
"Why can't you keep me?"
"It would be … messy."
"You don't have to love me back, Nikolai. You can just have sex with me whenever you feel like it. Wouldn't that be nice?"
He sighs. "It doesn't work like that, little butterfly."
"How does it work then?"
"I can't have you, Star."
"Why not?"
"Because … because I don't deserve love."
"Why not?"
"Because I let my brother die."
My eyes widen.
"I can't forgive myself." He lifts a lock of my hair. "He had hair like yours. Beautiful. I hacked it all away, but I didn't do the thing that would have saved him."
"What didn't you do?" I ask softly.
He closes his eyes, lost in some nightmare. "I didn't suck the director's dick."
I gasp. "Oh, Nikolai. I'm so sorry. Whatever it was that happened, you were just a child too. You can't blame yourself."
"It was my fault," he says slowly.
Once I only saw a beautiful man. Now I see the pain and anguish etched into his soul.
"Tell me what happened, Nikolai. Please. Let me in."
To my astonishment he does. He tells me a harrowing story about two little boys. My heart breaks for him.
He opens his beautiful eyes and they are swimming with tears. "Anyway, you deserve something better than me. I'm a monster, Star. A criminal. I used to be in the Russian mafia."
"No, you're not a monster. You're a good man."
"I know you want to believe that I am a good man. There's no such thing as a good man in the mafia. I've killed men, Star."
"That was before. You've changed now."
He shakes his head slowly. "If someone tries to take what is mine tomorrow you will see the old Nikolai again. You do not know what I am capable of, Star. If you knew you would run away screaming."
"I don't know what you've done. All I know is the man you are today and that man is loyal, fair, and honest. That is the man I love."
"I'm hungry to taste you again, Star."
I stand up and pull my shorts down. He hooks his fingers into my panties and pulls me forward. Pushing the material aside he swipes his tongue on my slit.
"Oh my little butterfly. How I missed you."
He lays me on the couch and sucks me until I break apart. Then he makes love to me. For the first time. He makes love to me. Slowly. Gently. With reverence. As if he is worshipping my body.
"I love you," I whisper again and again.
He doesn't speak, he just uses his mouth, his hands, his fingers, his cock, his tongue to draw the words on my body. I know he loves me and one day he will admit to it.
After we have both climaxed he looks deep into my eyes. "What is it about you? I cannot get enough."
I smile. "Semyon told me a funny thing."
"What?"
"He told me the first time you saw me was not in the restaurant." I raise my eyebrows.
"Yeah. I saw you two years ago. In a casino. You were playing Blackjack. I couldn't take my eyes off you. I wanted you so bad, I thought I would cum in my pants. You were winning and you were laughing. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. And then you turned around and kissed the sour-faced jerk next to you, and I thought I'd die."
"I never saw you."
"I was there because the woman I was with, I forget her name now, wanted to go. I don't gamble in casinos. That's a fool's game. I have never understood the lure of gambling. The only time I gamble is when I am in control of the odds. You didn't see me because I wanted to control the odds of getting you."
"What did you do?"
"I got Semyon to find out about the jerk sitting next to you. I wanted to punch him when he gave me the news that he was your husband. And then I wanted to kiss his bald head when I found out what state your husband's financial situation was in. Your husband had a weakness. He was a massive gambler. And I knew exactly how to exploit it.