After I end the call I stare out of the window. The view is the back end of another apartment block. The past two weeks seem like an incredible dream.
With a sigh I send Nigel a text message.
Me: I need to talk to you.
To my surprise, he answers immediately: What about? Everything okay?
Me: Yeah. Everything okay with you?
Nigel: I'm doing great.
Me: What did you do last night?
Nigel: Nothing much. Stayed in. Got a take-away. Watched some telly. Missed you like crazy.
Me: Do you ever still feel like gambling?
Nigel: NEVER.
Me: Not even a bit?
Nigel: Not even a bit. All I want is for you to come back so we can start our life together again. I can't wait for you to come back, Star.
Me: Funny thing happened last night.
Nigel: What?
Me: I saw you in Ziggurat.
For a full minute there is no reply. Then:
Nigel: What do you mean you saw me there? You mean outside?
Me: No. Inside. At a roulette table.
My phone rings. I accept the call and hold it to my ear.
"I was not gambling, Star. I'm finished with all that. That was not even my money. You have to believe me that I was just keeping my boss company. I had to pretend. To keep him happy. You know how it works."
"Jesus, Nigel. How stupid do you think I am?"
"You don't believe me?"
"No."
"As if I would jeopardize everything by gambling again. Come on, Star. You know me better than that."
"It would seem I don't know you at all."
"Okay. I was gambling last night. I regressed, okay. I'm sorry It happens to all of us at the beginning of the treatment. I'm sorry I lied. I just don't want to lose you. I love you, Star."
"I went to the house last night."
"You did?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Just wanted to see the house."
His voice is cautious. "I don't keep it as clean as you."
"You brought someone else back and fucked her in our bedroom, didn't you?'
"Eh! No, What? What the fuck are you talking about?"
"You let her wear my uniform."
There is a shocked silence. "No, I didn't," he splutters.
"God. You're such a liar."
"I'm not lying. I swear. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
"How could I have been so blind?"
"I'm not lying."
"Whatever. There is no longer any need to meet. All I wanted to say is that I'm leaving you. I'll be filing for divorce as soon as I can."
"On what basis?"
"I suppose the easiest would be irreconcilable differences."
"Don't be so silly. You can't make it without me."
"I beg to differ."
"If you think I'm going to support you with alimony payments for the rest of your life you better think again. You won't get a penny from me."
"I don't want anything from you. You can have it all."
"What will you do? Live at your nan's place together with your dad, and become a clerk somewhere? I can tell you now you won't even earn enough to buy a pair of good shoes. After the good life I've given you, you won't last a day."
"I won't have to become a clerk. I'll be an author."
He laughs uproariously. "What do you think? Anybody can become an author? There are millions of people who want to be authors and only a handful have the talent to become one. I suppose in your tiny mind you imagine that publishers are just lining up to buy your book."
"My entire series has already been picked up by a publisher." It is astonishing how much pleasure and satisfaction I get from saying that to him. All these years he tried to keep me down. Well, I floated to the top, Nigel.
"Bullshit," he explodes.
"It's true."
"What? You sold your series to a publisher?"
"Well, not me. My agent did."
"Since when do you have an agent?" His voice is deadly quiet.
"Last week."
"And you've already sold your book?" he asks incredulously.
"Yeah, my agent held a mini auction for it and two publishers wanted the entire series."
"An auction?"
"Yeah. They do it for books they think will be highly sought after," I say casually.
"How much are they giving you?"
"That's very un-English of you, Nigel. You shouldn't go around asking people how much money they earn."
Nigel goes silent with shock.
"Well, I should be going. I've got a ton of things to do, but you'll be hearing from my lawyer.
"Star-"
I hang up, put the phone on the table, and bury my face in my hands.
"Well done, babe," Rosa says from behind me and comes and hugs me. "I'm so proud of you."
"My heart is breaking, Rosa."
She pulls back and looks at me. "Not over Nigel, right?"
I shake my head slowly. "I tried to fool myself last night, but Nikolai's not going to call me. Ever. I know him. He's too proud and too insular."
She looks into my eyes. "Oh, Sugar. I'm so sorry."
Too distraught to speak I can only nod.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Star
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raNGeq3_DtM
I Want To Know What Love Is
I try to keep myself busy for the next couple of days. I know I have to start a new life for myself. I ignore all Nigel's calls and eventually I put a block on his number.
Rosa tells me I can stay with her until I find my own place and I quickly accept her offer. When she is in it is not so bad. She is funny and warm and I can push Nikolai to the back of my mind, but when she goes to work and I am left alone at the apartment, I find myself bursting into tears for no reason. I'd be peeling a pear and suddenly I'd start sobbing my heart out.
I try to write but I find that I can't concentrate like I used to be able to. Suddenly I would be thrown out of my story and my head would be filled with Nikolai. I miss him so much. At night if I have not had at least two glasses of wine I can't sleep. Sometimes I think of Miss One Penny and Ray and Celine. I went to the shop and bought a big box of chocolates for Sophia, but then I didn't know where to send it to, so Rosa ended up eating most of it.
I go online and try to find gossip about him. There is nothing new. Which is a relief. Even though I obsessively Google him I know I would be devastated if I saw him with another woman.
"Who can that be?" Rosa says as she gets up to go answer the doorbell. I just slouch further into the sofa. I hear her open the door. "My, you're a big boy," I hear Rosa say, and I sit up and crane my neck to see who has come through the door.
"Can I have a quick word with Miss Minton please?"
Sweet Jesus!
That's Semyon's voice.
"And who may you be?" Rosa asks.
I try to make myself appear more presentable by quickly brushing my hair back with my hands.
"My name is Semyon."
"Well, Semyon, if you wait here I will see if Miss Minton will see you," Rosa says formally. She leaves him standing in the hallway and comes to me with widened eyes. She opens her mouth in a silent scream before saying in a perfectly natural voice, "There is a man called Semyon who would like to see you. Shall I send him through?"
"Yes." I gulp, and jump up from the sofa.
Semyon comes into the small sitting room making it appear even smaller than it is.
"I'll be in my bedroom if anybody needs me," Rosa says, and with a wink at me, sails towards her bedroom.
"Hello," I say softly.
He nods.
"Would you like to sit?"
"No. That's fine. I won't be staying long."
"Can I get you a drink?"
"That will not be necessary either."
"Okay. So what can I do for you?"
"I just came here to say that you should go and see Mr. Smirnov. You were good for him."
My eyebrows fly up. I thought Semyon didn't even like me. He was always giving me the cold eye.
"I can take you there now."
"He doesn't want me, Semyon."
"He does want you," he insists blandly.
"You don't understand. It was just a sex thing for him. He saw me in a restaurant four weeks ago and he just thought, yeah, why not, I'm a billionaire. If I want her I'll have her, and he did. Now he's had me he'll move on to the next girl."
"Is that what he told you?"
"No, he didn't have to say it." I shrug. "But that's what it was."
"He didn't see you in a restaurant four weeks ago. He saw you in a casino two years ago."
"What?"
"I've been on your case for two years, Miss Minton. When Mr. Smirnov wants something he never lets anything stand in his way. His focus is complete. His patience is legendary. For two years he planned how to get you. He set up Ziggurat because he knew your husband wouldn't be able to resist."
I sit down on the sofa in shock. "Are you seriously telling me Nikolai set up a casino to trap Nigel so that he could have me?"
"Mmmm."
"That is so crazy."
"Yes, that is what I thought."
"So why did he send me away?"