I fall to the ground.
My eyes cannot focus properly. Everything is a blur. The director stands up. The handkerchief floats to the floor near my head. It is so white. So beautifully ironed. Then it all goes black.
I'm blasted awake by pain. Blows, kicks and punches are raining down on me. My head, my face, my body, my legs. They arrive so quickly from so many places. It is impossible to defend myself against them. All I can do is curl up tightly and pray that it will end soon.
"Stop," a voice orders. Even battered, and in agony, I recognize the voice.
The blows stop.
I don't move. My whole body is on fire with pain.
A pair of shoes come into my vision. "Now get up, and get out of my office."
Excruciating pain everywhere. I sit up slowly. Tears are running down my face. Every inch of me screams in pain as I try to stand. I end up groveling on the floor.
"Not such a brave man, are you?" he taunts.
I lift my head and look out of eyes that are blurred with the blood running into them and look around me. There are five boys. I recognize them instantly. The bullies. There is blood-lust in their eyes. They are strung up. They want to finish the job.
I stand up slowly, gritting my teeth with the pain, and limp out of that office. I know I have to find Pavel. I have to protect him. There are monsters in this place. The other kids are already in bed and I walk through the deserted building.
I find Pavel in his bed. He is shivering with terror. When he sees me he starts sobbing uncontrollably.
"Niko, Niko, what have they done to you?"
"It's nothing. I'll be all right. It looks worse than it is," I say through swollen lips. I can hardly see or talk. I need to lie down. I feel weak. I slowly lower myself on my bed. I reach for my blanket and tear a long strip out of it. I tie one end to his wrist and the other to mine.
"What are you doing?" Pavel asks.
"Don't take this string off no matter what happens. If anybody tries to take you, you wake me up, all right?" I say sternly.
He nods.
I lie down.
"I'm scared," Pavel says.
"Nothing will happen to you while I am here," I say.
Nobody comes for Pavel that night, but Sergei comes for me.
"I can't go," I whisper.
He shakes his head. "What did you do?"
"I tried to bite him."
He looks unimpressed. "That was a stupid thing to do. You're fucking lucky they did not shoot you up with chemicals and send you to the mental asylum or the lying down rooms. The kids there never leave their beds. They are tied up and spend all day staring at the ceilings."
That night the pain is awful. The bruises and wounds on my body heal over the next few weeks. I join Sergei's gang and get the gang's tattoo which protects me. There is no more talk of making a phone call. The only way Pavel and I are leaving this place is if we find a way to escape. The group of boys who beat me up look at me with sneering expressions, but they don't bother me again.
I watch Pavel like a hawk during the day and not a single night goes by that I forget to join myself to him with the strip of blanket. I keep him safe day and night, but as the days become weeks, and weeks become months, my brother's bright blue eyes dim. He becomes sadder and sadder.
I cannot understand it. He is like a plant that is wilting away right before my eyes. He shows no interest in anything anymore. Not even when I outline our escape plan to him.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Star
When I go outside to the car, Oleg is not there. There is another man wearing a chauffeur uniform who opens the door for me.
"Where is Oleg?"
He makes a downward movement with his mouth. "Gone."
I frown. "Gone?"
"Yeah. I've taken his place."
"Oh! Why?"
Something flickers in his eyes. "Because you gave him the slip yesterday."
My mouth drops open. "He's been fired?"
"Uh … huh."
"But that's not fair," I blurt out to the complete stranger.
His lips twist with contempt. "Life's not fair. I've got to warn you that I'm not allowed to let you out of my sight. Even if you want to go to the bathroom I'll have to go in first and check that there are no windows through which you can climb out."
My face flushes with fury and embarrassment. How dare Nikolai treat me like this. I turn around and go back into the house. I stride to the study where Celine told me he was working. I wrench open the door and Nikolai looks up from his paper. He seems completely unperturbed.
"How could you be so heartless? How could you fire Oleg? He's such a good guy. It was not his fault that I went to see Nigel. I want him to be reinstated. I want him to be my driver."
Nikolai
She stands there spitting furiously. I love watching her when she is angry. It is in such stark contrast to when she was bound and helpless. I pick up my coffee cup and bring it to my lips.
"You must have misunderstood your position here. You have no rights other than to service me, little butterfly," I murmur mildly.
She becomes rigid as if I have struck her. I watch her swallow hard, she is about to say something else, when she decides not to. She drops her fair head in defeat.
The smooth curve of her neck is delicate and swanlike. My hands itch to encircle it but I haven't forgotten what she did yesterday. How dare she be so blindly loyal to him. A smarmy creep like him? I watch her over the rim of my cup and I feel anger boiling in my veins again. I realize I am clenching the handle of my coffee cup so hard it is in danger of breaking off. I lay it carefully on the saucer.
Suddenly the anger changes. Fuck him. I've got her now. And I'll have my fill of her. I'll fuck her until there is nothing in her head but me. To hear her scream my name.
"As a matter of fact, I think I'd like to have you again," I say softly.
She looks up at me, her eyes glittering with resentment and hate. We stare at each other but she can't hold my stare. She drops her gaze.
"I'll see you in my bedroom then," she says tightly, and turns away.
"No. Not there."
She swings around with surprise. "Where?"
I stand and sweep my hand over the things on my table. They crash to the floor. The coffee cup smashes. Semyon comes running in. I don't take my eyes off her face.
"Get out," I say.
Semyon closes the door quietly on his way out.
She walks towards me stiffly. I fit my hands around her slender waist, lift her onto the table and lay her on her back. She looks up at me, breathing hard. I pull her skirt up. She is beautifully bare and already soaking wet. Lifting her right leg I kiss the inside of her knee. She inhales sharply. I suck the thin skin, staring at her.
"Play with yourself," I murmur.
She bites her lower lip. That always drives me crazy. I can feel my cock hard and hot in my pants.
Slowly, her hand trails tantalizingly down her stomach towards her pussy. I watch hungrily as her fingers slide between the pink folds. At first hesitantly, then she goes for it. Rubbing herself. Her hips jerking. The smell of her arousal fills my nostrils driving me crazy. All I want to do is get inside her.
Just when I know she is at the very edge, and her body is already bowing with the coming onslaught, I grab her hand and hold it away from her throbbing flesh. She looks up at me, her eyes wide and begging.
I smile.
"Why won't you let me come?"
I bend my head and swipe my tongue on her open pussy. She shudders and pushes her groin towards my mouth. I hold back.
"Do you want me to suck you?"
"Yes," she gasps.
"How much do you want it?"
"A lot."
"Exactly how bad?"
"Bad. Really bad."
I swirl my tongue within the sweet flesh, making her moan. I dip my tongue into her hole and she shudders. I lick her a while, enjoying the taste, teasing her, and making her clench with frustration.
"Go on, make yourself cum," I order.
Her fingers move. When she is about to cum I stop her again. I refuse to let her come for ages, until her teeth are clenched, and she is almost in tears.
Then I instruct her to put her elbows under her knees and open wide. With her pussy completely exposed to me I unbuckle my pants and plunge my cock into that tight little cunt in one swift movement. She grunts with the sensation.
I pound into her until her orgasm washes over her. So hard she gasps for breath. I cum with her. Coating the walls of her pussy with fresh cum. My cum. I'll wash that spineless fool out of her. Not even the memory of him will remain by the time I am finished.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Star
For the next four days I don't see Nikolai. I write, I ride, I swim, I walk the wonderful grounds and I try unsuccessfully to befriend Belyy Smert, but he steadfastly refuses all my overtures.
Every day at lunchtime I go to visit my father and I chat with Rosa over the phone. Every morning and night I call Nigel and we talk. We seem to have come to a strange sort of truce. We behave more like friends. He tells me about his progress at Gamblers Anonymous and I tell him about my riding efforts. The unspoken understanding is that everything will go back to normal between us when this month is over. He must guess that things can never truly be the same, but I don't think he realizes how different they will be. How much I've changed.