*****
By the time I was beginning to get a handle on the metaphorical fires, the real ones at the Sicaria plant were still burning hot, and Kendall had a couple hours head-start on me. According to the taxi dispatch, they’d been heading to Woodville, but the driver had ended up dropping her off in a cabin slightly north of Foxdell.
This was a day that just wouldn’t fucking quit. I sat in the back of my car as the driver took us out of the city on the 28, past the Ex Machina headquarters. It was the first chance I’d had to take stock of the situation.
From killing Lorenzo, to making sure no more of my men were killed while unprepared, to calling in all the favors I needed to smooth the Sicaria shitstorm out, it was all like a battle through hell. It was just one more skirmish in the war I’d been fighting for over two decades.
If I didn’t win this fight for Kendall’s heart, though, it would feel like the war was lost. Her phone was turned off, and I had barely any idea what to say even if she did answer.
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes and rubbed them.
After that day in the car with my parents, my whole life was a blur of violence and meaningless sex with meaningless women. I’d always done everything I could to distract myself from the rage of losing so much to the Picollis, but it was always there, bubbling under the surface.
It was still there now, but since Kendall came into my life and worked her way into my heart like some unstoppable petite assassin, I realized there was pain there too. It had been with me forever, like black poison.
I’d thought I’d felt good fighting, destroying everybody that stood in front of me. I thought I’d felt good fucking my way through a never-ending river of women. I thought that killing so many of the Picollis felt best of all.
None of it compared to the way Kendall made me feel though, because Kendall wasn’t just a distraction. She was my home, the place where I could finally relax and take off the body armor I needed to carry around everywhere else to keep myself alive.
It had never been OK to let any of that poison out before those quiet times with Kendall. If I didn’t fight for her, and win, then that poison would build up inside me again. Who knew what I’d do without her?
I’d fought on so many fronts over the years. Hand-to-hand, with guns, with knives, real poisons, explosives, face-to-face, backstabbing, one-on-one and a massacre. I’d always won.
The problem was, this was a completely different kind of fight and I had no idea what to do. For the first time since I’d bashed that kid’s face in at Wellfort, I was ill-equipped.
We were almost at the cabin when my phone rang. When I looked at the caller ID, I almost managed to choke on my own tongue when I saw it was Kendall.
Chapter 28
Jace
My men spread out around the cabin as I walked up the steps to the front door. To my relief she said she wanted to talk, and asked me to send somebody to pick her up.
She didn’t seem surprised when I told her I was only a couple minutes away, because I owned the taxi company she’d caught a ride with, she only sighed with resignation. I took what comfort I could over the fact that she called me at all.
It must have been shocking for her, walking in on that scene with Lorenzo. I could barely remember the first person I killed, or even saw killed, but death was just the logical conclusion of all the violence I’d been surrounded with for years by then, so it wasn’t so bad for me.
Kendall was from a different world though, she didn’t know what it took to survive in mine. I hoped that, together, we could do more than survive. I wished for that harder than I’d ever wished for anything, even revenge.
A thousand hopes and fears raced through my mind as the door swung open. Would she run into my arms? Had she talked to some law enforcement agent outside of my control?
When I saw her, my heart reached out for her, and my hands mirrored the sentiment. It hurt more than I could have dreamed when she didn’t reach out for me too, instead keeping one arm wrapped protectively around her mid-section.
On the bright side, there weren’t any police officers apparent behind her either. I stepped inside, glancing at her sore-looking red eyes and then looking down.
I hated being the cause of the pain etched on her face, and I was still terrified that she would never be able to accept me for who I was. Unfortunately, the cat was out of the bag, so that choice was gone.
“I… I don’t know where to begin,” I said when she closed the door.
“Why!? Why did you kill him? Why is the Mafia really going after your businesses? What is going on?”
Now that she didn’t need her hand to close the door, Kendall had both arms wrapped around her stomach. By the sounds of it, they might have been the only things holding her together. She was at the breaking point.