I guess I’m just going to have to wing it.
* * *
I show up at her apartment just before seven-thirty in Luke’s Tahoe that he left behind for me, since mine is still at the facility. That means Georgia will be here any moment to spend the day with Natalia. I don’t want to do this now, but it can’t wait. I can’t let her go through the entire workday without knowing that her father is locked up.
I use the key she gave me a little over a week ago and let myself in the front door. With lead legs, I make my way inside the elevator and ascend to the top floor. When I reach her door, I opt to knock instead of using my key. It gives me a few extra moments to compose myself before I face the firing squad.
When Carly opens the door, relief washes through me. Not only am I running on fumes, but add in the stress of Styx going AWOL before he could be arrested. The smile she gives me sends my blood pumping southward. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Always has been, always will be.
“What are you doing here? You should be at work,” she comments while backing up to allow me to pass.
“I needed to see you,” I say as I pull her into my arms, kicking the door closed behind me. I inhale her unique scent, letting wildflowers fill my nostrils and my entire being. It’s like I’m trying to commit her scent to memory once again. She sniffs my shirt as if doing the same thing, and for once, I’m glad I listened to Luke and showered.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, pulling back and turning her concerned brown eyes on me.
“Babe, I don’t even know where to begin,” I tell her. I long to kiss her lips, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid she’ll push me away. I’m afraid that once I kiss her, I won’t be able to stop. I’m afraid that if I kiss her right now, it will be for the last time. Because I have no clue how she’s going to react to what I’m about to tell her.
And that’s my biggest fear of all: the unknown.
I decide to risk it. If this moment is the last time I ever kiss Carly’s lips, I’m not missing the opportunity. If right now is our last kiss, I want to be able to hang on to it for the rest of my life. Because if Carly throws me out on my ass, this kiss is the only thing I’ll have left besides our daughter. And even then, how do I know I’ll still have her?
My lips are tentative at first, tasting and savoring the way she tastes, the way she feels. Without any urging, Carly opens her mouth, granting my tongue entrance. She tastes sweet with a hint of coffee and mint. I will never get tired of the way she tastes and feels against me. I pray to God that she doesn’t pull away. Not now. Not ever. My hands dive into her hair, holding her hostage so she can’t move. Carly’s hands snake up my back, gripping the back of my t-shirt.
After several minutes of standing in her kitchen kissing, I allow her to pull back. We’re both breathless as she opens her eyes and gazes at me. The intensity in those brown eyes is shining as brightly as the emotions in my own. “That was a pretty good hello,” she says with a smile. I don’t reply, just offer her a small smile.
“Da da!” The sound of my daughter behind me practically brings me to my knees. The fear of the unknown, the drama of the past twenty-four hours, the panic of the truth about to be told, it all just fades away with that one sound. I turn around and grab ahold of the child toddling towards me. My daughter.
Holding her in my arms, she runs wet hands down my cheek. I squeeze her tightly until she’s giggling from within my arms. My lips place big, loud kisses on her face. “Hi, Princess. Daddy is so happy to see you,” I tell her, still holding her securely within my arms.
Just then, the doorknob rattles. Finding it unlocked, Georgia throws open the door and gives us a pleasant smile. What I’m about to tell Carly is going to affect her mother, too. Technically, they’re still married, even if she was presumed dead. She has clearly never gotten past her husband, and for the long two years I’ve known Roman, I don’t think he’s let go of her either. I’ve never seen him with a woman, never even seen him glance in that direction.
“What a pleasant surprise,” Georgia says. “You’re never still here in the morning when I arrive, Blake.”
“Actually, I have something I need to discuss with Carly. I’m hoping I can whisk her away to the back for a few moments.” Carly gives me a sheepish look, but when my serious eyes connect with hers, I see her amusement fall away. She can tell something is up.
“Mom, can you hang out here with Nat?” Carly asks her mother.