I just stare down at her peaceful face. There’s so much I want to say to her. I’m sorry for not being a part of her life up until this point. It’s complicated as fuck, but I would have been here had I known. It doesn’t even faze me when my thoughts take me somewhere I never would have imagined they’d go. If I had known about Carly’s pregnancy, this entire situation would have been so very different.
I think about all the things I’ve missed in just over a year. Her first steps, her first birthday, her first words. What was her first word? Did she say Mama because it’s all she knew? Or did she say Dada because it’s easier to say?
“I promise not to miss anymore,” I whisper to the angel in front of me.
Slipping out of the room, I decide to check on the coffee and make sure Carly is okay. I don’t know her mother, but I’m sure this can’t be easy for her to say. When I reach the kitchen, they’re still deep in conversation.
“I don’t know yet, Mom. We haven’t gotten that far.” Carly’s words leave me slightly unsettled. Even though they’re true and we haven’t discussed anything about the future, I’m not walking away at this point. I’m in, fully vested. My heart is taken. Completely. Not only by the little girl sleeping in the crib, but maybe even a little by the woman standing in the kitchen.
I walk over to the coffeemaker, grabbing the empty cup that she left sitting in front of the pot. With a piping cup of Joe in my hand, I step over to the table and join Carly and her mom. They’d both stopped talking as soon as I stepped into the room. “Ask whatever you want,” I tell Georgia before sipping the black energy juice.
“Carly tells me that there are some things you won’t tell her,” Georgia says, observing my posture and my mannerisms. She’s doing the same thing I’ve been doing to her but without being as blunt.
“That’s right, Georgia. I can’t tell you certain aspects of my life right now. I promised Carly I would as soon as I could, and I stick by that. I make that promise to you as well. My intentions are honorable. I’m here because I found out that I have a child. I’ve missed more than a year of her life, and I don’t want to miss any more. Where that will leave Carly and me, well, that’s yet to be determined. But right now, my focus is on getting to know my baby girl. Getting to know Carly again, well, that’s an added bonus,” I say with the slight rise of the corner of my lip. I can see Carly’s blush without even looking at her. And with her olive complexion, that’s saying something.
“I like you, Blake. You take care of my granddaughter, and if something should happen to arise between you and my Carly, then that would be an added bonus, wouldn’t it?” she says with a huge smile.
“Indeed it would,” I confirm with a wink before sipping my coffee. Oh, Georgia is definitely on my side. Point for Blake.
“Listen, I need to get going to church. Since my daughter has company this morning, it appears that I will be attending solo,” she says with a wink that makes me laugh. Carly seems more embarrassed than ever, dropping her head and giving it a shake while her mom rinses out her coffee cup and places it in the dishwasher. “I’ll be here in the morning.”
“Thank you, Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Carly says as she gets up to give her mom a hug. Georgia whispers something in her ear, making her nod up and down in response. Whatever it is, I hope it’s in my favor.
When the door firmly latches behind her mom, Carly slips back down in her chair, staring into her cup of coffee as if it has all the answers. “She likes me,” I finally say, breaking the silence. Her sigh is the only answer I get right away.
After several moments, Carly finally says, “Yeah, she does.”
“What did you tell her about me?” I ask casually, taking a bigger drink of my coffee.
“The truth. Mom never really asked too many questions about Natalia’s father. She knew he wasn’t around anymore, but didn’t push the subject. So, when I told her who you were, she was a little shocked.”
“You never spoke of me? Not ever to cuss the man who got you knocked up before slipping out into the night?” I ask curiously. Not that I would have blamed her one bit if she would have told everyone that the father didn’t stick around to see the sun rise the next morning. Even if that were the arrangement we agreed upon, I wouldn’t have held it against her if she had put all the blame on me.
“Never. I could never have badmouthed you, Blake, even if I wanted to. You did exactly what you said you’d do that morning. One night, right? Plus, I didn’t want to degrade what we shared. Even if it was only that one night, it was still special to me, and I didn’t want anyone to taint it by speaking ill of you.” Her confession makes my heart trip over itself. It’s humbling to hear her speak of our night together with such understanding and respect. We both made the decision to engage in one night of passion, and to know that it meant as much to her as it did to me, well that puts a smile on my face.