I’ll pay the rent for as long as my mother needs. So that piece of shit has no hold over her now. If she needs someone she can call me and I’ll be there every single time. She doesn’t have to be alone and she won’t be.
I’m now on my way to the club to talk to Cale, even though the only thing on my mind is going to find Meadow.
I need to know that she still wants me and that I haven’t scared her off. I know she said that she just needed the night, but now that she’s had time to think, maybe she needs more. I don’t know.
Pulling up to the club, I feel and look like shit as I hop off my motorcycle and make my way inside.
It’s not extremely busy here yet, but the instant I get spotted in the crowd, half-naked girls cling to me, pulling me in different directions to get my attention.
It only reminds me more why I need to get the hell out of this place and focus on the gym more.
Having other women’s hands on me makes me feel guilty as hell. The only hands that feel good on me are Meadow’s.
She’s the only person I want touching me.
Ignoring the women groping at me, I make my way up the steps to Cale’s office and knock.
“It’s open.”
Cale stands up and walks over to shake my hand once I step inside. “Everything good, man? You look like hell.”
I let out a deep laugh and take a seat in the chair across from his. “It’s been a rough couple of days, man. Real fucking tough.”
“Yeah, I heard.” He leans back in his chair and runs a hand through his blonde hair.
I feel like we’ve all been through a lot together here, watching each other grow and Cale is probably the best fucker I know. Quitting on him is going to be hard.
“Slade tell you?” I question.
He nods his head. “Yeah. But that asshole deserved it. Tell your mother hi for me and if she needs anything to get ahold of Riley or myself. We’ll help in any way that we can.”
My lips turn up into a thankful smile, but inside I’m feeling guilty as shit. “Appreciate that, man.” I run my hands over my face and lean back in the chair, trying to get the words to come out.
“Relax,” Cale says. “You might forget that I talk to Slade every damn day. I know what you’re here for and I don’t want you feeling guilty. It’s not like I expect you guys to stay here forever.” He laughs when I raise a brow. “Hell, I was happy as hell the day I stopped shaking my dick for money. Trust me. The time will come when Stone and Kash leave too. I’m always prepared. No worries.”
“Can’t tell Slade anything, apparently,” I say with a grin. “That fucker.”
Cale shrugs. “He wouldn’t have told me if he wasn’t trying to look out for you. I know Slade better than anyone else. That just means that he thinks of you as one of our family.”
I stand up and shake Cale’s hand. “You dicks will always be family to me. Thanks, man. But I got somewhere to be now.”
He smiles and starts going through some files. “Looks like I have some auditions to set up. So get out.”
I grip the back of the chair and push it to his desk, before hurrying out of his office and through the club, before some random chick can stop me.
There’s only one place I want to be right now . . .
Meadow
I’VE HAD THIS ACHE IN my chest all day to see Styx, but I’ve been fighting it, afraid of what to say to him.
He was there for me when I needed him and I had the nerve to ask him to leave so that I could be alone for the night.
I feel like the biggest asshole and there really aren’t any words to explain how sorry I am.
Honestly, I felt even shittier as the night went on. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed, wrapped in his strong arms, but because of me, that didn’t happen.
Pulling my truck into Styx’s driveway, I sit for a few minutes, while trying to figure out how to explain to him that I have really bad days sometimes and just need to be alone.
I never meant to make him feel the way he felt when walking out my door. I’ll never forget the look of hurt on his face when I asked him to leave.
“Okay, you can do this.” Shaking off my nerves, I jump out of my truck and walk over to his porch, stopping at the door.
I take a few deep breaths and slowly release them before knocking.
“Please be here,” I whisper. “Please.”
I feel my heart crush once I realize that he isn’t here. I’ve already driven by the gym on the way here and didn’t see his motorcycle. The only other place I can think of him being is the club.
A room full of hot, horny girls screaming and groping at Styx is the last place I want to be at right now.
I honestly don’t know if I’d be able to handle that. Not with all of the emotions running through me right now.