Meadow nods her head and shoots to her feet.
“Don’t you dare fucking go outside, Lily. You will stay right there until I say so. This asshole won’t touch me with you around to see it and as soon as he gets the fuck out of the way, you’re mine. Stay,” he demands.
Feeling the rage take over, I toss him down onto the kitchen floor and grab him by the throat, squeezing so hard that he starts coughing. “Let’s see you try to touch her now, you piece of shit.” I elbow him in the face as he attempts to push me away. “Go ahead. Hurt her! Do it motherfucker. Get past me now. Let me see you try. Put your hands on her like you have since I was ten. Make her scream and cry, balled up on the floor trying to protect herself. Go ahead!”
“Fuck you and that bitch of a mother of yours,” he chokes out. “She’s not good for anything but a quick fuck anyway and she won’t even give that any-“
I see red and my fist connects with his face, cutting him off before he can finish his thoughts.
I will not sit here and listen to him disrespect my mother anymore.
Feeling the fire inside me build up, I lose all restraint, my fists continuing to swing over and over again.
The only sound filling my ears is my fist connecting hard with his bones. Again. Again. And again until his face is covered in blood and I feel hands pull at me, trying to get me off of him.
It takes a few seconds for me to come back to the scene around me enough to realize that my mother is crying and screaming at me to stop, while Meadow is telling me he’s had enough.
They both sound worried and that’s when I notice that my father isn’t moving anymore or struggling to get away from me.
Releasing his throat, I fight to catch my breath while looking hard to see that he’s knocked out cold. He’s done for. He’s had enough- she’s right.
Although in my mind, it can never be enough.
Blood covers his face and my hands, but I don’t feel one ounce of regret seeing him lay there helpless in his own pool of blood. I’ve seen my mother do the same too many times.
“What did you do?” my mom cries. “You could’ve killed him.” She pushes at me, screaming and crying. “He wasn’t going to touch me. He wasn’t.” She pushes me again and then drops down to her knees.
I stand up and watch as my mother grabs at his shirt and yells his name in attempt to get him to wake up.
“Frank! Get up! Open your eyes.” She slaps his cheek in a panic. “Come on, dammit! Open them.”
This only pisses me off more, watching her in so much agony over his pain. He deserved every hit that he took. “After everything he’s put you through. Us through. You give a shit about him being hurt for once? After all those times he hurt you every fucking day and then beat me for trying to help you? All the broken bones I suffered as a child because of him or all of the scars on the back of your head from him throwing you into anything and everything.”
I grip at my hair and start pacing. I want to fucking scream, but I’m trying my best not to scare Meadow anymore or give her a reason to think I’m anything like that piece of shit on the floor. “Why the fuck haven’t you left him yet? Why the fuck did you put us through all that suffering after seeing how dangerous he was. He could’ve killed us both. But you stayed anyway and you still refuse to leave. Why the hell won’t you walk away? Why? Tell me.”
“Stop it, Styx. Dammit. Stop it,” she cries out, while wiping at her face. “I love him and he hasn’t hurt me in over six months. Things have been good between us and you just ruined that. He’s going to hate me now.” She cries harder and I can tell that it’s out of fear.
I haven’t forgotten that sound. I’ll never forget that fucking sound.
“He hasn’t hurt you in six months,” I scream. “You want to know why? It’s because of me. Fuck!” I point at my chest in pain. “Because I sit outside your house every fucking day when he gets off work, making sure that he can walk straight. Making sure that he hasn’t been drinking so he won’t feel the need to beat you for no reason. That’s why he hasn’t hurt you. I make sure of it. He knows I’m there every single fucking day. That’s why.”
I glance over at Meadow to see her watching us with her hand over her mouth and tears spilling from her eyes. She’s pained by everything that she’s learning about our past and it only makes me love her more.
Fuck, I hate that she has to see this, but there’s no stopping this shit storm now. There’s no walking away from this situation.
This is my mother and my father. This is my life. It’s been my shitty life since the day my father picked up a beer and never put one down.