Stupid Girl(99)

I gave Noah a smile. “Thanks, boss. I will.”

We finished our work after that, and I ignored Steven’s disapproving head-shake as I left the observatory. Although it was still somewhat daylight outside, I knew a single headlamp wouldn’t be following me back to the dorm. Still, I checked my rear-view mirror, and for what reason other than habit, or possibly hope, I didn’t know. The second I stepped into mine and Tessa’s room, though, she squealed, leapt off the bed and grabbed my hand.

“You know what’s so phenomenally epic about Halloween parties?” she asked.

“Not really.”

Tessa popped me in the head. “Disguise, chica.” The smile on her face was pure devilment. “No one knows who you are if you do it right.” She patted my hair. “Which is why we’re going to do you famously right. As long as you’re still wanting to do this?”

I inhaled, exhaled. “Yeah, I’m sure.” I looked at her. “I have to know, Tessa. He plagues me.” I stared at spot of carpet between my feet. “Day. Night. He’s in my brain.” I looked up. “Boring a hole in my noodle, and I’m sick of it disrupting my life. I want to ask him why. Why … he did what he did.”

“And you think that will settle you? And that he’ll tell you?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe by catching him off guard, he will.”

Tessa inclined her head to the bed. “Well have a seat and let’s get started.” A mysterious glint sparked in her eyes. “I’ve just the costume for you, darling, so let’s get our asses moving. We’re meeting Marcie and Kelly at eight and I’ve got a small miracle to perform here.”

“Wow, how comforting.”

Tessa smacked me once more. “Shut your cake hole and be still.”

Two hours later, I stood in front of the mirror, shocked. Lifting my hand, I grazed my cheeks with my fingertips. “This is not really me.”

Tessa laughed. “Yes it is, and stop touching yourself.” She snorted. “Eww, weird. Anyway, I told you I was a miracle-maker. Just getting all that crazy ass hair you have semi-tamed and up in that stack was a miracle in itself. Now slip these wings on and you’re all set.”

What stared back at me from the bathroom mirror was more than a miracle. It was a piece of living, breathing fantasy art. As I held my bare arms out, Tessa slid a pair of gauzy, white feathery angel wings over my arms and hooked them together between my shoulder blades. They were short and appeared to stick straight out of my spine. Paired with the slinky silvery blue mini dress and silver strappy heels, I looked as though I’d fallen out of some alternate heaven. Tessa had applied glittery silver shadow to my eyes that swept out at the corners to swirl over my cheekbones, long false lashes, and silvery blue lipstick. I definitely did not look like me.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked. I looked at my roommate, with her painted Day of the Dead face and short black mini dress. “Brax might not even be there.”

“Perfectly sure,” Tessa assured. “And if he’s not, Ash will be and we’ll have a great time. Now let’s go.”

Butterflies rammed my insides as we loaded into Marcie’s Range Rover and headed over to the Sigma Chi house. This was so totally out of character for me; not only with the costume, but the approach. I hated that Brax’s abrupt and painful split from me hurt so bad—bad enough that I had a difficult time concentrating on my studies. I wanted—no, needed—to know why. He owed me that much. And for once, I wasn’t going to stand for anything less. Could I have tried to obtain this information without the whole blitz gig? Probably. But despite Brax’s harsh exterior and brass accent, he was far more intelligent than most granted him. And my simply approaching him would never have worked. He would have made excuses. This way, he’d probably have a little alcohol in him, and he wouldn’t know it was me until it was too late. At least, that was my rationale. I hoped to God it worked because I couldn’t take much more of this. The not-knowing. The endless what-if that beleaguered me at every turn, awake or asleep. It was driving me nuts.

By the time we pulled up into the already-jammed yard full of vehicles at the Sigma Chi house, my nerves were fried. My gaze scoured the parked cars. I didn’t see Cory’s Camaro. I didn’t see Brax’s bike. And part of me felt relieved. God, I was so confused; I didn’t know what to do. And it was driving me insane.

Halloween night proved to be classic; full moon, dark clear skies, and the temperature had dropped to the mid-fifties. I shivered as we climbed from the Rover, my arms and legs bared to the elements. Orange and black lights had been strung from the front porch; all manner of monsters and zombies and slutty costumes littered the lawn, and laughter cracked the otherwise still night.