Stupid Girl(52)

Desired?

A slow smile and filtered moonlight transformed Brax’s harsh features into something sexy, hungry, attentive. “Sunshine, I could ride that bike blindfolded.” With his free hand he pushed my braid off my shoulder, and ducked his head to better see my eyes. “I’m not going to kiss you yet, Gracie.” His hand reached for mine, and his thumb grazed the ring I wore. His eyes darkened. “But I will. When it’s time.”

I could barely breathe, much less speak. Somehow, I managed. “I believe you.”

To look at Brax this close, after he’d expressed such an intimate confession, made every nerve ending in my body fire at once. It was difficult—yet I couldn’t look away if I’d tried. Etched into his beautiful features were strength, determination, and struggle. Struggle not to kiss me? Did I even dare hope it?

Could I handle it if he did kiss me? Like, a real, intentional kiss?

Brax’s fingers closed around my truck keys, reached around me so close I could’ve laid my head on his chest, and unlocked my door. “Get in, Gracie.” I turned, and he stopped me, and I looked up at him again. “Before I fuckin’ change my mind.”

I eased into my truck, and Brax shut the door. I rolled down the window, started the engine.

“I’ll follow you to your dorm,” he said, then winked. “G’night, Sunshine.”

“’Night, Brax.”

I waited until Brax had straddled his bike and started the engine before I pulled out of Hattie’s. My heart raced and thumped against my ribs the whole way back to Oliver Hall where I parked, got out, and waved goodbye to Brax as he idled, watching me until I’d slid my door key in and entered the common room. I heard the grumble of his pipes as he left the parking lot.

As I jogged up the steps to the second floor, a smile pasted to my face, I noticed my heart was light for the first time in over a year. For once, I felt my life just might change for the better.





After that night, I felt lighter. Despite having to look at Kelsy every day in humanities, even that tension eased up. He kept to himself and high-tailed it out of class the second it was over. Only occasionally would I catch him looking at me. The expression on his face was unreadable; a mixture of scorn versus longing, I guess. But with Brax beside me, I felt safe. Not so cagey anymore. And Kelsy left me alone. That was a plus in my book.

I began running, too, every morning before anyone else woke up. I ran alone, with just me and my thoughts, and as the days ticked by I felt stronger physically as well. My confidence was higher than it’d ever been. Working at the observatory was a dream. Steven was hysterical and a hard worker, and our shifts usually passed by pretty fast. Our first Night Sky Watch for our astronomy lab was approaching. Fun stuff. Exciting.

It had been almost two weeks since that night at Hattie’s, and Brax’s promise of kissing me still burned in my mind. The way he’d said it so bluntly, and looked at me? Promised? It’d taken me an hour to fall asleep that night. And my God, the way he had called me beautiful? The whole scene replayed in my head a thousand times. His bad-boy reputation be damned. I felt deep into my core he’d meant every word.

He hadn’t kissed me, though. We’d grown closer—saw each other every day, during school and after—yet no kiss. Had he changed his mind? Lord knows I’d never have the courage to kiss him first.

But I sure did want to.

Most of these thoughts I kept to myself. At Tessa’s unforgiving drilling I’d finally confessed to her that I really liked him. It didn’t go over well at first. But after she’d been around Brax a few times with me, I think she saw he wasn’t a complete beast.

It was a couple of weeks later when I lifted my cell phone off my nightstand and checked the time. Five a.m. A little earlier than I’d been getting up, but I’d had enough sleep and to lie in bed wide awake would just make me fidgety. Quietly, I crept out of the covers, pulled on the running shorts, tee shirt and footie socks I’d pulled out the night before, jumped into the bathroom for a sec and brushed my teeth, and rebraided my hair. As silently as I could, I eased out into the hall and headed downstairs. No one was up and about, and I liked it that way. The lights were dimmed in the common room, and I let myself out.

Outside, the air was still, breezeless, the sidewalks empty, and the pre-dawn sky was just starting to show a few streaks of radiance. A light mist hung through the oaks, making the old brick architecture of Winston appear haunting and ghoulish. I took off down the main street at a slow pace to warm up, measuring my breaths with each stride until I’d reached a perfect chorus of exhales and inhales. With each stride, energy shot through my feet and up my legs, my arms, and I picked up the pace. Early morning air filled my lungs; the heavy scent of pine and magnolia blooms saturated the slight breeze that passed through the trees, and I ran a little faster. The way a hard run made my muscles and lungs burn felt good, made my body feel alive and strong. Like I could conquer anything. Staying to the main streets, I found myself at Winston’s sweeping entrance, where I turned and headed back.