“Nutcracker!” I hollered.
Tessa busted out laughing.
I grabbed a wrench from my toolbox, left my roommate and slipped out into the still-quiet corridor. I made my way to the stairs and climbed to the rooftop exit. Outside, the air hung heavy with humidity, like a sopping wet blanket draped over me. From past rooftop experiences, I knew I’d better stick something in the doorway, just in case it locked behind me. I jammed the wrench between the door and jamb on the ground, and found a clearing not too far from the exit. Quickly, as the darkness was fading fast, I set up my pod and attached my scope. The pre-dawn sky was breathtaking; stars littered the heavens, and I zoomed in on several. The thought crossed my mind: What would Brax think of it?
I pulled my eye from the scope and shook my head. Breathed. Then focused again. The moment my eye touched the eyepiece, a shooting star blazed a glittery line of dust, then faded. My mouth pulled into a content smile. I never grew tired of meteors. Ever. Was it a sign, this one particular star, its tail ablaze and zerping across the sky? What had given me this, I don’t know, sort of peace and confidence that less than twenty-four hours ago had been absent for the past year? Was it Tessa and her ridiculous yet easy-going camaraderie? Was it finally being away from Jasper, from Kelsy?
Or was it Brax’s cocky, this-is-what-you-get attitude that made me not so skittish? Or rather, the promise of intimacy between us? He seemed to have a way of putting me at ease either way, and it had taken him less than a day. Pretty impressive. Despite his flirtations, I didn’t feel threatened by him. Not at all. And I liked that feeling. It almost seemed … foreign. Yet it was a piece of my old self, pre-Kelsy, that I’d truly missed.
The afternoon dragged, so I did what I could to pass the time before Brax would pick me up. My appetite faded after the apple cinnamon muffin and pumpkin spiced latte I had at the on-campus coffee house. I went for a run; stopped at the massive library and scoured the astronomy section. I also took another tour of the observatory, climbing to the platform and checking out the view, and spoke a minute with Steven. I liked him, and already I could tell he’d be easy to work with. None of it, though, took my mind completely off what was to come. And off the thought that I’d consciously made the decision to go out with a womanizer who bluntly promised to kiss me again. Insane. I’d lost my mind.
My thoughts drifted. It wasn’t like me at all to be so distracted. Despite telling myself constantly that dinner with Brax was nothing more than, well, dinner with Brax, I still had butterflies. The jitters had taken over me, and I willed them away. Go. The hell. Away. Doubt infused with my too-easily-won confidence. Maybe this was all a mistake after all, just like Tessa had warned. Maybe I should cancel. Maybe I shouldn’t.
By five, I called home, talked to Mom and Jilly, and told them about my new job. I didn’t mention Brax or my dinner date. Lord, no. Talk about poking a stick in a hornet’s nest. Telling them would only have led to a ton of questions I wasn’t prepared to answer. After the hell of senior year, and the toll it’d taken on my mom, I wasn’t about to stress her out right now. One day after getting here? No way. And if my brothers found out? They’d show up and cause a huge scene. I could handle myself, and I was pretty sure I could handle Brax. I had to. Because a Beaumont family scene was definitely something I wanted to contain. Besides, having a friend like Brax might be pretty useful after all. For sure there wouldn’t be any other guys bothering me, and if they did, Brax could easily put them in their place. That thought gave me a little comfort. Not a lot, but some.
Finally, I twisted my hair into the usual braid, pulled on a pair of relatively hole-less low-riders, a floral baby doll blouse with capped sleeves, and a pair of brown leather sandals. Just as I’d finished brushing my teeth, my phone chirped. I found it on my bed. SOUTHIE. Against my will, my insides leaped. It was only 6:15. I flipped the phone open.
Brax: Bring a jacket or a long-sleeved shirt or you’ll freeze your ass off. And shades to reflect bugs. I got an extra helmet. Have you thought about me all day?
Me: Shades and jacket, I’ll grab them from my truck. Helmet, definitely. I value my brain. And yes, I thought of you, but only when I pulled on my blouse. Did you win your game?
The minute the words were sent, I’d regretted them.
Brax: Now you’re comin’ around, cowgirl. You ready? Yes, we won.
Me: Swell. That’s not what I meant. And yes, I am.
Brax: Good. Get your ass down here. I’m starvin.
Stahvin. I smiled and shook my head. Why was he so early? Quickly, I grabbed my patchwork slouch purse, dropped my cell into it, grabbed my key card and dropped it in, too. From my desk I picked up my room and truck keys, let myself out, and locked the door behind me. Butterflies slammed against my stomach the whole walk down, and it irritated me. It wasn’t just anxiousness about seeing Brax. It was just the idea of going out with a guy. Any guy. And the closer I got to the parking lot, the more nervous I became. The more I wanted to turn around, run and hide. No matter if it was just a friendly dinner, that I was now a freshman in college and not a dumb high school teenager. Why couldn’t I just be calm, cool, collected? I willed those qualities to fall on me, and fast. To infuse in my DNA and make me full of confidence. After a few deep breaths, I had it together. I crossed the common room to the doorway, and pushed it open. And those newly summoned qualities fled the moment I laid eyes on him.