Brax stared at me for a long time; so long that I thought I was going to have to make the first move to step away. In his eyes I saw pain, his soul, and that disturbed me more than anything else. Darkness and the light pole I was parked beneath cast his scarred face into sharp planes and shadowed angles. But I could still see him, plain as day. He swallowed. The muscles at his jaws flinched. Then he dropped his hands from my shoulders.
“Sorry you feel that way, Sunshine. Because you’re the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.” He turned and started walking away. “See ya ’round, Gracie,” he said without turning back.
I watched silently, those familiar broad shoulders, his cocky, bow-legged swagger, until the shadows swallowed him up.
Only then did I allow the tears to flow. And when they came, they rushed, like a deluge, and I slowly climbed into my truck and drove back to the dorm. Tessa was gone when I got there, probably out with the girls, and that was actually a good thing. I didn’t want her seeing me a mess. Not again. All this drama was exhausting, and I was tired of it. I got ready for bed, climbed beneath the covers, and clicked out my light. Then cried some more. Finally, my body depleted, the tears subsided, and I fell into a restless sleep.
Over the next two days, I did a lot of pretending. I pretended my heart wasn’t ripped in two. I pretended it didn’t really, really matter that I’d lost my job. And I pretended that Brax’s presence in class—especially the way he completely ignored me now—didn’t bother me. Lies. I was full of them lately. Bottom line, though, was simple enough. Brax had betrayed me. Not just that, but after knowing what he’d known about me, from high school, what I’d gone through? I still couldn’t believe it.
Neither could I shake his pleading words in my head. You don’t know the full story. Just let me explain …
If there had been a good explanation, or a good story behind his betrayal, I’d closed that door the night I told Brax I wished I’d never met him. Harsh, but it had certainly done the trick. Not one text, or one call, or even a single glance had he graced me with. It’s what I’d asked for, right?
Then why did I feel so shitty? Why did everything feel so wrong now?
It was the day before Thanksgiving break, and I was sitting in humanities, staring at the words in my notebook until they all swirled into a big blur. Some students had already left to go home for the holidays, so the class wasn’t as full. I was taking notes for the test we’d have after break when the pen I was using ran out of ink. Blindly, I reached into my pack to fish out a new one and noticed my cell phone vibrated as my fingertips brushed over it. No one ever called me during the day. Well, except Brax, and since two days ago, he’d stopped. Curious, I grasped my old phone and flipped it open.
Four missed calls from Mom.
Totally unlike my mother. Instantly, my insides froze, and a bad, bad feeling pitted my stomach. I rose from my seat and without thinking, hurried out of the classroom. In the hallway, I dialed home. My mom picked up on the first ring.
“Baby,” she said. “I’m sorry to call you in class—”
Mom’s shaky, faint voice immediately set me on edge. I knew something was bad, awful wrong. “What is it, Mom?” I couldn’t hide the panic in my own voice.
From the corner of my eye, a body emerged from the classroom, and Brax moved close to me. He didn’t touch me, just stood by. Waiting. I lifted my eyes to his, fixed on mine.
“It’s Jilly,” Mom said, and her voice cracked. “He’s … bad, honey. You need to come home. Now.”
“How bad?” I asked, the panic rising. “Mom, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong with Jilly?” I started pacing, my throat constricted. I could barely swallow. “Tell me.”
“It’s his heart, honey. He’s had a massive heart attack,” Mom said. She cried now. Cleared her throat. “He’s in the ICU at Jasper Memorial. You need to come on home, Olivia. Okay?”
I found the wall and sagged against it. “Is he awake? I mean, or is he in a coma?” Tears stung my eyes and my voice shook as the words stumbled out of my throat. “Mom, please.”
“He’s awake, honey. But his heart has sustained a lot of damage. Just … come home.”
Brax moved closer to me. “Okay, Mom. Okay. I’m coming. As soon as I grab some stuff from my room. I’ll be there.”
“Drive straight to the hospital,” Mom said quietly. “Be careful, baby.”
My hands shook, and I felt my phone slipping from my fingers, but suddenly, it was gone and in Brax’s hand. Still, he kept his distance. He ducked his head to look at me. “What’s wrong, Gracie?”