Abby let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
“You’re saying you’re okay with the job?” she asked hopefully.
“Yes. It’s your decision. I love you, Abby, and I’d never forgive myself if I lost you over that. I’ll always worry about you, but I trust that your heart is with me.”
“It is,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “I love you, too, Chris.”
“I promise I’ll make you happy,” he said.
“You already do.”
The familiar glare of the Benedict ER sign made Abby’s attention snap back to her driving. It was late – so late it was early, and she was tired. But the chance to see Chris was too good to pass up. They’d had conflicting schedules for several days, and had settled for phone conversations.
The desk attendant just waved Abby in, and as soon as she walked into the ER, she saw Chris working behind a desk.
“Hey,” he said, smiling as he looked up and saw her. He got up and led her right to a sleeping room, where he embraced her as soon as he pushed the door closed.
“It’s been way too long,” she said as he slid her coat off and her dress up over her head.
“I know. What the hell is up with this outfit?”
He eyed her with a mixture of confusion and lust, and Abby laughed. She wore a skimpy bra and panties made from a red bandana.
“It’s Cowgirls and Indians night. I’m a cowgirl. I can go get the hat if you’d like.”
“I want to kick the shit out of every man who saw you in this tonight,” Chris said, looking serious.
“Chris…”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking stressed.
“It’s hard, Abby. I love you and we’ll get through it, but it’s hard. I hate the thought of other men ogling your perfect body and smelling your minty hair. I’ll never stop wanting it all for myself.”
“The part of me that feels is only for you,” she said, pressing herself against him.
“And what are you feeling now?” he asked playfully. Abby nipped at his neck, pushing her hands under his shirt to feel his bare skin. She slowly kissed her way down his body, enjoying his shallow breathing. As she got to his waist, the flash of something caught her eye. As she looked over, she saw that the flash was from his pager, which was buzzing.
“Shit,” he muttered, pulling it from his waist to check it. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. We have to make some time for each other this weekend.”
“We will,” Abby said, slipping her dress back on. “I can come over tomorrow night because Justin’s taking the girls to a pajama party at one of the museums in the city.”
“Good. Maybe I’ll find some chaps and a hat to match your getup,” he said with a grin.
“And a rope?”
“I think you’re a little kinky after all,” he teased.
“Maybe I am. You can find out tomorrow night.”
The closer she got to Charlotte’s office, the more Abby’s apprehension grew. Chris had been evasive when she had asked him why he wanted to talk to her there. She had run through all the possibilities in her mind, but none of them made sense.
When she knocked softly on the dark door, Charlotte answered it swiftly. Chris was already inside, looking pensive from the end of the couch where he sat.
“What’s going on?” Abby asked Charlotte.
“I don’t know.”
“Just sit down, guys,” Chris said. “I know this seems weird, but…there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell Abby, and I wimp out every time. I thought if I did it like this, I’d have to go through with it.”
Abby tensed as she sat down on the other side of the couch. It didn’t sound like good news. She realized she’d been right to keep her job at the club, because this could be the end of things with Chris.
“Go ahead, Chris,” Charlotte encouraged. He sighed, rubbing his palms on his thighs.
“Okay. This is tough. I haven’t talked about this in a long time.” He wouldn’t look at either of them, and he seemed to be struggling to find the words he wanted.
“It’s okay,” Abby said, reaching over to squeeze his hand. “Whatever it is, it’s okay. If things aren’t going to work with us, you’re doing the right thing by telling me.”
Chris gave her a small smile.
“It’s not that,” he said. “It’s kind of the opposite of that. Things are going so well that I think you need to know something about me. I’m just gonna say it…I went to private school when we lived in England, and when I was 15, one of my teachers…he molested me. I’m not a wreck about it or anything, but I think it affects the way I see things. Maybe I shouldn’t have had Tim beaten like I did, but I was just so angry about what he did to you and what he could do to the girls.”