“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” he said with a sulky expression.
Abby felt at home at the beachy bar Chris had chosen for dinner. Everyone was dressed casually, and the smells of grilled seafood reminded her how hungry she was as soon as they walked in.
“Alone at last,” he said with a smile as they sat down. “I hope you didn’t mind hanging out with everyone else today.”
“Not at all. It was a great day,” she said. “I thought it would be hard to relax and not worry about everything back home, but it’s not.”
“Well, you know the girls are in good hands.”
“Yeah, that does help.”
“I’m glad you’re letting Marla take care of them,” he said, sipping from the bottle of beer that had just been delivered to the table.
“It wasn’t really that I let her …”
“It was. You have a hard time accepting help.”
“Maybe. There was a long time where no one was offering, so that has something to do with it.”
A slow smile spread across Chris’ face as he looked at her, and she couldn’t help smiling back.
“What?” she asked.
“This is just nice. A lot nicer than I even imagined. Getting away with you. I like seeing you so relaxed and happy.”
“You make me relaxed and happy.”
“Do you mean all the time, or last night?”
She looked away, embarrassed by the satisfied grin on his face.
“I think you already know how I felt last night.”
“I still like to hear you tell me.”
“Last night was amazing, Chris. But it left me wanting something more.”
“More?” His defensiveness made her smile.
“I don’t mean that it was lacking. It was incredible. It just made me want the real thing that much more.”
“Oh,” he said pensively. He took a long swig of his beer, considering her words. “But I’m really loving that it’s all for you.”
“But why not both of us? I want it so much, Chris. This is the perfect time and place. We’re on a break from reality.”
“I think you need to work on being selfish in bed. You seem to think sex is for men, and I want to show you that it can be all for you.”
“You have, Chris. And you’re right, it’s not something I’ve ever enjoyed. Obviously, with Tim, it was terrible. And there have only been two other guys. It was bad again with the second one, not because he forced me, but because I just didn’t want to do it but I felt like I had to. The third guy, in college, he tried. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good, either. It was just something I did to make him happy.”
“I don’t want you doing it to make me happy, even if that means we never sleep together,” he said.
“But I’m the one asking. I’ve wanted it with you for a while. You’ve helped me find something I didn’t know was inside me, and I want to share it with you. A lot of men have seen my body and used me for their gratification, but there’s one thing I’ve never given anyone, and it’s my desire. I feel this aching want to give it to you, and I hope you want it. I want the same thing from you in return, Chris. Let me feel what it’s like to satisfy your desire. Please.”
A man cleared his throat with embarrassment, and Abby turned crimson as she realized the waiter had been listening. He stared at her, fascinated.
“Can you not tell this is a private conversation?” Chris snapped. The young man bowed his head and hurried away. Chris sighed, looking lost in thought.
“Say something,” Abby begged. “I’m putting myself out there completely right now. I feel naked. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I wasn’t expecting this. I planned for this weekend to be about you only. But I do want it, Abby - what you’re offering me. This part of you that wants to be loved, and I want to give you that part of me, too.”
She smiled, feeling a rush a relief and joy. She had been nervous, and now her body relaxed as the tension left her.
“Suddenly I’m not very hungry,” he said, his eyes darkening with desire.
“Sorry, but I’m starving.”
He laughed heartily, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand.
“You never fail to surprise me,” he said.
Chapter 11
Abby didn’t feel nervous until Chris put the rental car in park at the beach house. The reality of what was going to happen hit her then. She took a deep breath as she opened the door handle.
She envied the way he didn’t look nervous at all as he reached for her hand. He wore his usual relaxed grin.