CHAPTER TWO
Leila laid in bed, the sonogram picture in one hand and the other hand on the growing baby. It was late now; Caitlyn was out with some guy that she'd been matched with on a hookup app. The appointment earlier only placated her anxiety for a few hours, now alone with her thoughts she couldn't help but think that if anything went wrong it would be her fault. She'd chastised herself for not taking better care of her body the second that she found out about the baby.
She started to picture her and Jackson holding the baby in their arms, and the baby growing up into a toddler. If they had a boy he would throw a football or a baseball around the yard. If it was a girl she imagined French braiding her hair, teaching her about what it means to be a girl. They would read to the baby every night. She was determined that no matter what happened between her and Jackson the baby would also feel loved.
The faint sound of a thud came from outside of her window and it slowly slides open. She looked over at Jackson standing with is back to her as he closed it again. Leila slide over making room for him on the bed and he climbed in with her. He placed a hand on top of hers and studied the picture. She leaned her head on his shoulder.
"That was the most magical sound I've ever heard earlier." He said softly into her ear. His fingers caressed to the top of her hand, tracing patterns on her skin. "What do you think it is?" She thought about it for a moment. She'd always been told that a woman just knows something about the way the baby feels as it is developing or maybe it was they way it was carried later in term.
"I don't know." She said finally. "I just want it to be healthy." Jackson stroked her hair comfortingly.
"Dr. Ross said that you're in the clear." His voice was barely a whisper. Of course, Leila knew that. She'd been there and heard the words spoken to her. For weeks after she left the hospital she abided by the strict only allowed to attend class bed rest to make sure the baby continued to be healthy. Now she could do other things and probably should get of out bed and exercise. As long as she didn't faint again everything would be okay. "Can I tell you what I hope it is?" Leila nodded rolling onto her side. She buried her face into his chest. He wrapped his arm around now. "I hope it's a girl, one as sweet and caring as you, as understanding and patient as you've been with me. I never deserved that."
"No, you didn't." His shirt muffled her voice and he chuckled.
"Thank you for giving me that anyway." He looked down at her and took a long breath. "I wonder if I can even ask you for more." Leila pushed away from him and sat up on her hands to look at him fully in the eye.
"What did you do? No! Don't answer that. Why did you have to ruin this? We've been doing so well and finally we know for sure that the baby is healthy. It has a heartbeat now it has life growing! And now you're going to just throw all of that away aren't you?" She was outraged and couldn't believe that this was happening now.
"Leila, please it is nothing like that." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "I don't even know if this will affect you and our child, but I need you to know something. I have kept something hidden from you and it's because I'm not proud of it." Jackson watched her face as he spoke, waiting for her to kick him out of her room. "When I was younger, I became involved with the wrong people. My Dad had to bail me out too many times to count. They were a gang and I was never officially initiated."
"You were in a gang?" She drew out her words slowly trying to comprehend this news.
"Not formally." Jackson said again. "I was on my way to being initiated but my parents moved us to keep me from joining."
"Why are you bringing this up now?" Leila frowned down on him.
"I saw one of the members earlier today. He recognized me and tried to approach me, but I found away to lose him. They have no claims to me so there shouldn't be an issue, I just wanted to let you know in case something does come from it." Leila cast him a dubious look but settled back in his arms as she had before. His shoulders relaxed, some time during their conversation he'd become tense, worried that she would not take the news very well.
"Jackson, just please no more surprises from here on out." Leila exhaled. He rested his chin on top of her head and thoughtfully tapped his fingers on her side.
"No, I promise that is everything now. No more secrets to share." He assured. They were quiet then listening to the gently rhythm of beatings in their chests sang them to sleep. Leila dreamt of cribs and pacifiers, she imagined Jackson holding a baby girl with the same brown hair curled on top of her head as Leila's. In her dream, Jackson sang to the baby while rocking her in the corner of a room. Light cooing set the instrumentals for his song. When Leila entered the room, he smiled up at her love sparkled in his blue eyes. Everything was perfect. Their little family complete at last. That's what they were now.